Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và tính tự nhiên: sửa cấu trúc câu (ví dụ: "If I had to choose, I would choose"), dùng danh từ số nhiều khi cần (movies), dùng từ phù hợp (scientific films → science films hoặc science-fiction films). Giảm độ dài và lặp từ, bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng rồi cung cấp 1-2 chi tiết hỗ trợ. Luyện phát âm và ngắt nghỉ để câu tự nhiên hơn.

例: I enjoy several hobbies, but if I had to pick one, I would say watching movies. I especially like science films because they combine interesting ideas with impressive visuals.

提案: Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp thời quá khứ và từ vựng không phù hợp: dùng 'When I was a child' thay vì 'When I want a drive'. Dùng thì quá khứ đơn 'I used to love'. Tránh từ không chính xác như 'the story were exercising' — có lẽ bạn muốn nói 'the stories were entertaining' hoặc 'engaging'. Thêm liên từ để mạch văn rõ ràng.

例: When I was a child, I used to love watching cartoons and animated films. I would always wait eagerly for my favorite shows because the characters were funny and the stories were very entertaining.

提案: Cải thiện cấu trúc câu và trật tự từ: tránh dùng 'Me and my brother' — nên là 'My brother and I'. Sử dụng thì hiện tại hoàn thành cho sở thích kéo dài ('I've liked drawing since childhood'). Mô tả cụ thể hơn hoạt động (vật liệu, loại tranh) và dùng câu đầy đủ, có liên từ để rõ ràng.

例: I've liked drawing since childhood. My brother and I would sit on the floor using a small bench, and we would draw all kinds of things, which made us really happy.

提案: Rõ ràng hơn và sửa ngữ pháp: dùng 'No, not really' or 'Not really' để trả lời trực tiếp. Sửa lỗi 'I really talk with my parent' → 'I don't talk much with my parents' và 'they live in different places'. Nên mở rộng bằng lý do cụ thể và một câu kết luận. Tránh tiếng lóng như 'MMM'.

例: Not really. I don't talk much with my parents because they live in different places, so I don't know their favourite hobbies very well.

× There are a lot of hobbies that I really love, but if I would choose, I will choose watching movie, especially when it comes to scientific film.

✓ There are a lot of hobbies that I really love, but if I had to choose, I would choose watching movies, especially scientific films.

Error: wrong conditional/modal construction and incorrect verb form. Use 'if I had to choose' (second conditional) with 'would' for hypothetical choice. Use gerund 'watching' correctly with plural nouns 'movies' and 'films'. Suggestion: use second conditional for hypothetical situations and ensure noun number matches context.

× When I want a drive, I used to love watching cartoons and animated movies.

✓ When I wanted a break, I used to love watching cartoons and animated movies.

Error: tense mismatch and incorrect phrase 'want a drive'. 'Used to' indicates past habitual action, so the time clause should be past: 'When I wanted a break' or 'When I was a child'. Also 'want a drive' is unnatural; use 'wanted a break' or 'went for a drive'. Suggestion: match tenses in time clauses and use natural collocations.

× I would always wait eagerly for my favorite show because the characters were funny and the story were exercising.

✓ I would always wait eagerly for my favorite show because the characters were funny and the story was entertaining.

Errors: subject-verb agreement and wrong word choice. 'Story' is singular, so use 'was' not 'were'. 'Exercising' is incorrect in this context; use 'entertaining' to describe a show. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with singular/plural subjects and choose appropriate adjectives.

× I used to love drawing too. Me and my brother sat on the floor and used a bench. Draw everything we want that's really fun and happy.

✓ I used to love drawing too. My brother and I sat on the floor and used a bench. We drew everything we wanted; it was really fun and made us happy.

Errors: incorrect pronoun order and case ('Me and my brother' -> 'My brother and I'); sentence fragments and tense inconsistency. 'Draw' should be past 'drew' to match 'used to'. Add subject 'We' and connect clauses for clarity. Suggestion: use 'My brother and I' for subjects, keep past tense for past habits, and avoid sentence fragments.

× MMM, maybe no, because I really talk with my parent because they live in the different places. So I almost don't know their favorites.

✓ Hmm, maybe not, because I rarely talk with my parents since they live in different places. So I almost don't know their favourites.

Errors: pronoun and number ('parent' should be plural 'parents'), adverb choice ('really talk' -> 'rarely talk'), and article usage ('in the different places' -> 'in different places'). Also word 'favorites' spelled 'favourites' depending on variety; either is acceptable. Suggestion: use plural for parents, choose adverbs that reflect frequency, and drop unnecessary articles.