Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail with a linking word. Avoid repetition and unnecessary words.

例: Yes, I enjoy swimming. It is my favorite hobby because it keeps me fit and helps me relax after a long day at work, so I usually go to the pool three times a week.

提案: Organize your answer into a clear sentence and add one specific detail. Use linking words and correct tense. Avoid fragments and filler words.

例: Yes, I loved swimming when I was a child. I spent hours playing in the water at my local pool because I was comfortable in the water and had many friends there.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence naming the hobby and follow with a specific supporting detail using linking words. Use correct verb forms and avoid unclear phrases like 'utterly game'.

例: Yes, I have ridden bicycles since I was a child. For example, I used to cycle with my friends every weekend, exploring nearby parks and improving my stamina.

提案: Speak more fluently and reduce hesitation. Give a clear statement about shared hobbies and one concrete example, using linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, my cousin and I share several hobbies. For instance, we often go swimming together and sometimes visit the park to enjoy nature or play football on Sundays.

× Yes, my favorite hobby is swimming because it's a great exercise and makes me relax.

✓ Yes, my favorite hobby is swimming because it's a great form of exercise and it helps me relax.

The phrase 'makes me relax' is awkward; use 'helps me relax' or 'allows me to relax'. Also 'a great exercise' should be 'a great form of exercise' or simply 'great exercise'. Adding 'it' before 'helps' clarifies the subject. (Grammar problem type ID: 20)

× I enjoy swimming after work to.

✓ I enjoy swimming after work too.

The sentence uses 'to' incorrectly; the correct adverb is 'too' meaning 'also'. This is a spelling/word choice error involving adverb usage. (Grammar problem type ID: 11)

× When I was a child, my favorite hobby was also swimming. I enjoyed. In water and swimming and. I play in water and.

✓ When I was a child, my favorite hobby was also swimming. I enjoyed being in the water and swimming. I used to play in the water.

Several fragments and incomplete sentences: 'I enjoyed.' and 'In water and swimming and.' lack objects and verbs to form complete thoughts. Convert fragments into full sentences: 'I enjoyed being in the water and swimming.' Use past continuous or 'used to' for habitual past actions: 'I used to play in the water.' This addresses sentence fragments and tense consistency. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)

× When I was a child I played an utterly game with my friends and my hobby was. Running a bicycle with my friend. I enjoy. I enjoyed.

✓ When I was a child, I played outdoor games with my friends and my hobby was riding a bicycle with my friend. I enjoyed it.

Original contains fragments and word choice errors: 'utterly game' is incorrect; likely 'outdoor game'. 'Running a bicycle' should be 'riding a bicycle'. Combine fragments into complete sentences and use past tense 'enjoyed' with object 'it'. This fixes sentence fragments and incorrect vocabulary. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)

× Yes, my cousin and I are the same hobby.

✓ Yes, my cousin and I have the same hobby.

'Are the same hobby' is incorrect because 'have' is the correct verb for possession. Use 'have the same hobby' to show both share it. This corrects subject-verb collocation and verb choice. (Grammar problem type ID: 27)

× Uh, we often uh, swimming, uh, or uh, go to park together and enjoy uh, nature, uh, or uh, play a game, uh.

✓ We often go swimming or go to the park together to enjoy nature or play a game.

Use full verb forms: 'go swimming' not just 'swimming' as a clause. Include the article 'the' before 'park' ('go to the park'). Remove filler 'uh' and order actions clearly. This fixes verb form, article usage, and sentence structure for clarity. (Grammar problem type ID: 6)