Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Улучшите грамматику и ясность высказывания, избегайте лишних слов и повторов. Начинайте с чётного утверждения (topic sentence), затем добавляйте 1–2 конкретных детали, используя связки. Исправьте ошибки с артиклями и формами множественного числа (a hobbies → a hobby / hobbies), используйте правильные глагольные формы (I draw anything → I draw various pictures) и замените некорректные выражения (I throw my mother and father → My parents taught/encouraged me).

例: Yes, I have two main hobbies: drawing and playing basketball. I often draw nature scenes and portraits because I enjoy capturing emotions, and my parents encouraged me to practice regularly which helps me relax.

提案: Сформулируйте ответ прямо, избегайте вводных фраз вроде “in my opinion” для фактов о себе. Используйте правильные времена (helped me relax) и уберите повторы (every every). Добавьте связку для логики (for example, or often) и конкретику (how often, with whom).

例: Yes, I played basketball as a child. It helped me relax and stay active, and I played every afternoon with my friends and sometimes with my father.

提案: Говорите связно и без пауз «uh». Используйте правильные времена и структуру: topic sentence + 1–2 уточняющих предложения. Уточните, что именно вы рисуете (daily scenes, family portraits) и избавьтесь от непонятных выражений (throw → draw).

例: Yes, I've been drawing since I was a child. I often draw daily scenes and family portraits, and practising every day helped me improve my skills.

提案: Дайте чёткий ответ и пояснение, используйте правильные формы глаголов и лексику (drew → draws or was a drawer?; study me → taught me). Объясните, каким образом хобби семьи влияет на вас, приведите конкретный пример и используйте связки (for example, so, because).

例: Yes, some family members share my hobbies. For example, my grandfather used to draw portraits and he taught me how to sketch faces, which inspired me to keep practising.

× I have a hobbies.

✓ I have a hobby.

The noun 'hobbies' is plural but the determiner 'a' requires a singular noun. Use singular 'hobby' with 'a' or remove 'a' and keep 'hobbies' (e.g., 'I have hobbies'). Suggestion: choose matching article and noun number: 'a hobby' or 'hobbies'.

× My favorite is drawing and basketball.

✓ My favorite hobbies are drawing and basketball.

The structure 'My favorite is ...' is grammatically possible for a single favorite; here two activities are listed, so use plural 'hobbies' and plural verb 'are'. Suggestion: match singular/plural: 'My favorite hobby is drawing.' or 'My favorite hobbies are drawing and basketball.'.

× I draw anythings pictures for example nature and face to people.

✓ I draw many kinds of pictures, for example nature scenes and people's faces.

'Anythings' is nonstandard; use 'many kinds of' or 'many' and 'pictures' should be modified correctly. 'Face to people' is incorrect; use 'people's faces'. Suggestion: use 'many kinds of pictures' and correct noun phrases like 'nature scenes' and 'people's faces'.

× I throw my mother and father I think truly helped me relaxing and improving my emotions.

✓ I think my mother and father truly helped me relax and improve my emotions.

'Throw' is wrong verb here; likely intended 'though' or 'I think'. Pronoun order and structure are incorrect. Use 'helped me relax' (bare infinitive after 'help') and 'improve my emotions' or better 'improve my mood'. Suggestion: use correct connector 'I think' at start, and 'helped me relax'.

× Basketball helped me relaxed.

✓ Basketball helped me relax.

After 'helped' the base form of the verb is used, not the past tense. Use 'helped me relax' instead of 'helped me relaxed'. Suggestion: follow 'help'/'helped' with the base verb: 'helped me do something'.

× I played basketball every every afternoon.

✓ I played basketball every afternoon.

The word 'every' is duplicated; remove repetition. 'Every afternoon' correctly indicates frequency. Suggestion: avoid repeated words and use 'every afternoon'.

× I say I play with my friends and one day my father.

✓ I used to play with my friends and sometimes with my father.

Tense and phrasing are incorrect. 'I say' is wrong in past narrative; use 'I used to'. 'One day my father' is unclear; likely 'sometimes with my father'. Suggestion: use 'used to' for habitual past actions and clarify frequency: 'sometimes'.

× Yes uh, when I was a child, I have a one hobby.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I had one hobby.

Mixing past clause 'when I was a child' with present 'have' is incorrect. Use past 'had'. Also 'a one hobby' is ungrammatical; 'one hobby' or 'a hobby'. Suggestion: maintain tense consistency and correct article/number: 'had one hobby' or 'had a hobby'.

× It's a drawing.

✓ It was drawing.

Context refers to childhood hobby, so past tense 'was' fits better and 'drawing' as an activity: 'My hobby was drawing.' Suggestion: express hobby as 'My hobby was drawing.' for clarity.

× I throw very different pictures daily moments.

✓ I drew many different pictures of daily moments.

'Throw' is incorrect verb; should be 'drew' for past. 'Very different' awkward; 'many different' is better. 'Pictures daily moments' needs preposition 'of'. Suggestion: use past tense 'drew' and 'pictures of daily moments'.

× Uh, I draw very beautiful, uh pictures.

✓ I drew very beautiful pictures.

Tense should be past in context ('drew'). Comma and filler 'uh' removed; 'very beautiful pictures' is fine though 'very' may be unnecessary. Suggestion: use past tense and smooth phrasing: 'I drew beautiful pictures.'.

× Uh, for example, months later I throw my parents face.

✓ For example, months later I drew my parents' faces.

'Throw' is wrong; use past 'drew'. Possessive needed: 'parents' faces'. Use plural 'faces' if drawing both parents. Suggestion: use correct verb and possessive: 'drew my parents' faces'.

× I think yes.

✓ I think so, yes.

Short answer 'I think yes' is awkward. 'I think so' or 'Yes, I think so' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'I think so' or 'Yes, I think so.'.

× For example, my grandfather drew where we mazed pictures.

✓ For example, my grandfather drew and we made pictures together.

Sentence is unclear: 'drew where we mazed pictures' is ungrammatical. Likely intended 'my grandfather drew and we made pictures' or 'he taught us to draw'. Suggestion: clarify action: 'my grandfather drew and we made pictures together' or 'my grandfather showed us how to draw.'.

× One day my grandfather study me what drawer people face.

✓ One day my grandfather taught me how to draw people's faces.

'Study' is wrong form; use 'taught' (past). 'What drawer people face' is garbled; correct structure is 'how to draw people's faces'. Suggestion: use 'taught me how to draw people's faces' for clear past instruction.

× I think it's very amazing.

✓ I think that's amazing.

'Very amazing' is redundant; 'amazing' alone suffices. 'That's' is more natural than 'it is' in this context. Suggestion: prefer concise adjectives: 'That's amazing.'.