Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は意味が通じるが、語彙の使用や文の明瞭さに問題があります。冗長な表現や誤った語順（"low high quality protein"など）があるため、具体性を高めつつ簡潔に言い直すと良いです。改善ポイント：1) トピック文を明確にし、2) サポート文で具体例（どんな料理や材料）を1〜2つ挙げ、3) 接続語（because, so, for example）を使って論理的に繋げる。発音や流暢さを上げるために各文は3〜4つの短めの文に分ける練習をしてください。

例: I enjoy cooking because I care about my health. Lately I cook homemade meals using lots of vegetables, lean meats and fish. For example, I often make grilled salmon with steamed broccoli and brown rice, which gives me protein and vitamins.

提案: 意図は伝わるが文法や語順の誤り、不要な単語や不自然なフレーズ（"biography double s", 文の途中の断片）が多く、聞き手にとって分かりにくいです。改善ポイント：1) トピック文の後に具体的な例を一つか二つ挙げる、2) 人名や作品を挙げるときは簡潔に述べる、3) 最後に短い感想（なぜ影響を受けたか）を付ける。接続語（for example, because）を使うと流れが良くなります。発音練習で固有名詞を正確に言えるようにして下さい。

例: I loved reading when I was a child, especially biographies. For example, I read books about Florence Nightingale, Thomas Edison and Hideo Noguchi. I found their stories inspiring because they overcame difficulties to make important discoveries.

提案: 内容は十分で話の流れも良いですが、文の終わりが不完全で文法や語彙の細部（"really move the"）に誤りがあります。改善ポイント：1) トピック文→理由→具体例の順を保ち、2) 具体例では完全な感想文を付ける（why it moves you）、3) バリエーションのある語彙（moving, touching, emotionally powerful）を使う。連結詞（because, for example）を明確に使って下さい。

例: I have watched movies regularly since childhood. I especially enjoy character-driven dramas because I like exploring complex relationships and emotions. For example, The Phantom of the Opera is my favorite because its tragic romance and powerful music always move me deeply.

提案: 答えは明確だが時制や語法の誤り（"mother enjoyed"→"enjoys"、"visit through"）や冗長な表現が見られます。改善ポイント：1) 現在の習慣を述べるときは現在形を使う、2) 各家族の趣味について短く具体的な例（どんな服、どんな旅行）を加える、3) 接続語（for example, while）で対比をはっきりさせる。発音と流暢さ向上のために短い完全な文で練習してください。

例: No, we have different hobbies. For example, my mother enjoys sewing and often makes dresses and shirts for me, while my father likes traveling and visits new countries whenever he has time.

× My hobby is cooking because I care a lot about my health. Recently I have been making homemade meals with a variety of vegetables, meat and fish that contain plenty of vitamins and low high quality protein.

✓ My hobby is cooking because I care a lot about my health. Recently I have been making homemade meals with a variety of vegetables, meats and fish that contain plenty of vitamins and high-quality, low-fat protein.

'high quality protein' should be hyphenated as 'high-quality' when used as an adjective before a noun; word order and choice were unclear: 'low high quality protein' is contradictory and ungrammatical. Use 'high-quality, low-fat protein' or similar to convey both high quality and low fat. Also use plural 'meats' consistent with 'a variety of'. Suggestion: decide the exact meaning (quality or fat content) and use clear adjectives with hyphens when before nouns.

× When I was a child, my hobby was reading. I especially liked reading biography double s. For example, I read the books about Nightingale, Edison and Hideo Noguchi Ando I'm I was inspired that's.

✓ When I was a child, my hobby was reading. I especially liked reading biographies. For example, I read books about Nightingale, Edison and Hideo Noguchi Ando, and I was inspired by them.

Multiple problems: 'biography double s' is incorrect; the correct plural is 'biographies' (plural formation). 'I read the books about' should be 'I read books about' (article unnecessary). The clause 'I'm I was inspired that's' is ungrammatical; it should be 'and I was inspired by them.' Use past tense consistently and correct pronoun/object ('them') for people. Suggestion: use simple past tense and correct plural forms and prepositional phrase 'inspired by'.

× I have been watching movies regularly since I was a child. I especially enjoy character driven dramas because I like exploring complex relationships and emotions. For example, my favorite film is The Phantom of the Opera, which really move the.

✓ I have been watching movies regularly since I was a child. I especially enjoy character-driven dramas because I like exploring complex relationships and emotions. For example, my favorite film is The Phantom of the Opera, which really moved me.

'character driven' should be hyphenated as 'character-driven' when used as a compound adjective. The relative clause ends with 'which really move the.' This is incorrect verb form and missing object. It should be past tense 'moved' and include the object 'me' to show impact. Suggestion: use correct hyphenation for compound adjectives and ensure verbs agree in tense and that transitive verbs have objects.

× No, my family members have different hobbies from me. For instance, my mother enjoyed sewing and makes many clothes for me, while my father likes traveling and visit through new places whenever he has time.

✓ No, my family members have different hobbies from me. For instance, my mother enjoys sewing and makes many clothes for me, while my father likes traveling and visits new places whenever he has time.

Mixed tense: 'my mother enjoyed sewing and makes' mixes past and present; both should be present 'enjoys' to match 'have different hobbies' and habitual actions. 'visit through new places' is ungrammatical; use 'visits new places' or 'visits different places.' Also subject-verb agreement: 'visits' for third person singular. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (present simple) for habitual actions and use correct verb forms and prepositions ('visit through' is incorrect).