Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I enjoy playing video games.”). Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and incorrect time expressions ("when I have three times"). Use correct tense and add one specific detail about frequency or who you play with, linked logically (use linking words like "because" or "for example"). Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy playing video games in my free time because they help me relax after work. For example, last night I played on my PlayStation 5 with my family, and we spent about two hours playing cooperative games.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence: "Yes, I did." Use correct grammar ("when I was a child", "I usually played basketball"). Provide one or two specific supporting details and use linking words ("because", "for example"). Avoid repetition and fillers. Limit to a maximum of 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I usually played basketball with my friends because there was a court near my home. For example, we met every weekend and practiced shooting and dribbling for an hour.

提案: Answer directly: say whether you still have the same hobby ("Yes, I still do"). Use correct phrases ("since childhood", "on weekends"). Give a clear reason and a specific example, linked with words like "because" and "for example". Reduce fillers and keep sentences coherent and grammatical.

例: Yes, I still have a hobby from childhood — playing video games. On weekends I often play with friends because it is a fun way to relax and socialize; for example, we usually meet online on Saturday evenings for a few hours.

提案: Give a clear direct answer ("No, I don't"). Explain briefly and specifically why (e.g., family members are busy or prefer other activities). Use correct grammar and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words such as "because" or "however" to make your explanation coherent. Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: No, I don't share the same hobbies as my parents because they work long hours and prefer reading or gardening. However, I spend my free time playing video games since it's relaxing and easy to do with friends.

× Yes, I usually prefer uh, playing video games when I have three times because it helps me relax and umm, enjoyable after work.

✓ Yes, I usually prefer playing video games when I have free time because it helps me relax and is enjoyable after work.

The phrase 'when I have three times' is incorrect; likely meant 'free time' (preposition/word choice error -> ID 11 but instruction 2 asks only list types in provided list; however main grammatical issues: 'prefer playing' is correct present participle usage, and 'enjoyable' needs a linking verb 'is'. The errors: missing verb 'is' before 'enjoyable' (sentence structure/verb issue -> ID 26) and wrong noun 'three times' should be 'free time' (preposition/word choice). Suggest using 'prefer playing' and add 'is' before 'enjoyable'.

× Uh, for example, last night I play umm, PlayStation, PlayStation 5, so it helps me more, umm, relax with my family.

✓ For example, last night I played PlayStation 5, so it helped me relax with my family.

Talking about a specific past time 'last night' requires the past tense 'played' rather than 'play'. Also, after changing to past tense, the result clause should use past tense 'helped' for consistency. Remove redundant words and brand repetition.

× Yes, of course when I was kid, I usually prefer going to play a basketball with my friends MMM because I have a feel at my hometown.

✓ Yes, of course when I was a kid, I usually preferred going to play basketball with my friends because I felt at home in my hometown.

Missing article 'a' before 'kid' and 'prefer' should be past tense 'preferred' to match 'when I was a kid'. 'Play a basketball' is incorrect; use 'play basketball' (no article). 'I have a feel at my hometown' is ungrammatical; change to 'I felt at home in my hometown' to express the intended meaning. Pronoun and tense consistency are corrected.

× So yeah umm for example, I usually pay basketball with my.

✓ So yeah, for example, I usually played basketball with my friends.

'Pay basketball' is incorrect verb choice; should be 'played basketball'. The sentence is incomplete ('with my' missing 'friends'). Use past tense 'played' to match earlier context 'when I was a child'.

× Yes, I really love to, to have a hobby because umm, especially in weekend, I can minute every uh, activities with my time because I have more free times uh, for example, I usually play video game with friends.

✓ Yes, I really love having a hobby because, especially on weekends, I can enjoy various activities in my free time. For example, I usually play video games with friends.

'Love to, to have a hobby' is awkward; use 'love having a hobby' (verb + -ing). 'In weekend' should be 'on weekends' (preposition and plural). 'I can minute every activities with my time' is ungrammatical; changed to 'I can enjoy various activities in my free time'. 'Free times' should be 'free time' (uncountable). 'Play video game' needs plural 'video games' when speaking generally.

× No, I didn't, I think umm, when I was a child, I usually play video games, but umm, my mom, uh, she have a work and the same with uh, my dad.

✓ No, I didn't. I think when I was a child I usually played video games, but my mom worked and my dad did too.

When referring to past habits, use past tense 'played' not present 'play'. 'She have a work' is incorrect; third person singular requires 'has' in present, but here past 'worked' fits better. Simplified to 'my dad did too' for clarity and correct tense agreement.

× So it helps, it helps me uh, more free time with umm, video game.

✓ So it gave me more free time to play video games.

The original repeats 'it helps' and mixes tenses. To express past situation, use 'gave' or for general habit 'gives'. 'More free time with video game' is incorrect phrasing; use 'more free time to play video games'. This corrects verb choice and sentence structure.