Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 전반적으로 자연하지만 몇 군데 문법과 표현을 더 명확히 하고 연결어를 사용해 응답을 더 논리적으로 만들면 좋겠습니다. 예: ‘during my lunch break or in the evening’ 식으로 전치사를 고치고 주어·동사 시제 일치를 확인하세요. 또한 빈도 표현(‘three or four times a week’)을 숫자 표기로 자연스럽게 유지하고 ‘sometimes’ 앞에 연결어(‘and’)를 활용해 문장을 매끄럽게 연결하세요.

例: Yes, I practice yoga at home, usually during my lunch break or in the evening because it helps me relax and stay focused. I try to do it three or four times a week, and I sometimes follow short online classes to learn new routines.

提案: 응답이 시제와 문법, 문장 구조 면에서 부정확하고 반복적입니다. 과거 시제를 사용해 어린 시절의 활동을 표현하고, 문장을 연결해 이유나 빈도 같은 구체적 정보를 추가하세요. 예: ‘I used to play online games on my phone after school with my friends’처럼 간단하고 명확한 한 문장으로 시작한 뒤 구체적 예시나 빈도를 덧붙이세요.

例: Yes, when I was a child I used to play online games on my phone after school. I often played with my friends, and we would compete in simple multiplayer games for about an hour each day.

提案: 의미는 전달되지만 문장 시작이 어색하고 시제 사용이 혼동됩니다. ‘since childhood’라는 표현에 맞게 현재까지 이어지는지 여부를 명확히 하고, 연결어와 구체적 예시를 추가해 내용을 풍부하게 하세요. 예를 들어 어린 시절의 활동이 현재의 취미와 연결된다면 그 점을 분명히 하세요.

例: Yes, I have enjoyed playing outdoors since childhood. When I was young I used to play in the playground with my friends, and even now I still enjoy outdoor activities like walking or light sports.

提案: 응답이 거의 이해되지 않습니다. 질문에 직접적으로 답하고 간단한 이유를 제시하세요. 가족과 취미를 공유하는지 여부(Yes/No)로 시작한 뒤 연결어로 이유와 빈도(얼마나 자주 같이 하는지)를 덧붙이면 좋습니다. 불필요한 단어나 혼란스러운 표현은 제거하세요.

例: Sometimes I do yoga with my family, but not very often. We occasionally follow the same online classes together, which is a nice way to exercise and relax as a group.

× I usually practice yoga in my home during my lunch break or evening because it helps me relax and stay focused.

✓ I usually practice yoga at home during my lunch break or in the evening because it helps me relax and stay focused.

'in my home' is unnatural for habitual activities; use 'at home'. Add 'in the' before 'evening' for correct time expression. These are preposition and article usage in present habitual context.

× I try to do it 3 or 4 times a week and sometimes follow short online classes.

✓ I try to do it three or four times a week and sometimes follow short online classes.

Numbers under ten are usually written as words in formal writing; otherwise sentence is grammatically fine for present habitual tense.

× I usually play online game with my phone.

✓ I usually played online games on my phone.

Question asked 'Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?' so past tense is required. 'Play' -> 'played'. 'online game' should be plural 'online games' for general habit, and use preposition 'on' for 'on my phone'.

× I finished my school and come to the home.

✓ I finished school and came home.

Narration about past habit requires past tense: 'come' -> 'came'. 'my school' is unnecessary when speaking generally, so use 'school'. 'to the home' is incorrect; use 'home' without preposition.

× Always play online game with my friend like I don't buy anything.

✓ I always played online games with my friends and didn't buy anything.

Past tense required for childhood habits: 'play' -> 'played'. Make subject explicit ('I') and use plural 'games' and 'friends'. 'like I don't buy anything' should be past 'and didn't buy anything' to match timeframe.

× Childhood In my childhood, I usually play in the playground with my friends.

✓ In my childhood, I usually played in the playground with my friends.

Remove redundant 'Childhood'. Use past tense 'played' for childhood habit. Sentence otherwise correct.

× If I do yoga with my family, your.

✓ If I do yoga with my family, I follow the same routine.

Original is incomplete and unclear. Provide a complete conditional clause matching present habitual context: subject 'I' and verb 'follow' needed. Replace 'your.' with coherent completion.

× Put the ****** Flint down the ground and see the online classes and see the videos.

✓ We put the mat on the ground and watch online classes and videos.

Original contains unclear words ('****** Flint') and incorrect verbs. Use simple past 'put' or present habitual 'we put' depending on context; here to describe what family does, use present habitual 'We put the mat on the ground and watch online classes and videos.' Use correct preposition 'on' and verb 'watch' for videos/classes.