Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ปรับประโยคให้เป็นธรรมชาติ ใช้โครงสร้างตรงคำถาม ก่อนอื่นตอบตรงๆ แล้วอธิบายด้วยรายละเอียดที่ชัดเจน หลีกเลี่ยงคำซ้ำ เช่น “spend spend” และคำที่ไม่เหมาะสม (“shoot swimming”) รวมถึงใช้คำเชื่อมเมื่อให้รายละเอียด เช่น “and”, “also”, “in my free time” และจำกัดความยาวไม่เกิน 4–5 ประโยค

例: Yes, I have a few hobbies. I mainly enjoy swimming for exercise and I also like reading in my free time. Swimming helps me stay fit and reduces stress, while reading relaxes me and improves my vocabulary.

提案: แก้การใช้ไวยากรณ์และคำผิด ให้ตอบประเด็นตรงๆ เช่นเหตุผลที่ว่ายน้ำตอนเด็ก ระบุรายละเอียดชัดเจน ใช้ linking words เช่น “because”, “so” และหลีกเลี่ยงคำที่ไม่สื่อความหมาย (“costly”, “available for my mother”) พูดให้กระชับและเป็นธรรมชาติ

例: Yes. I used to swim a lot when I was a child because my mother worked at an office with a swimming pool. So I could practice there after school and spend time with my mother while exercising.

提案: ปรับประโยคให้เป็นระบบ ระบุชัดว่ากิจกรรมคือการปั่นจักรยานตั้งแต่เด็ก อธิบายความถี่ ประโยชน์หรือความทรงจำ ใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น “so”, “then”, “with” และหลีกเลี่ยงคำที่ไม่จำเป็นหรือพูดติดอึก

例: Yes, I have. Since I was a child I often rode bicycles with my neighborhood friends. We usually rode around the neighborhood or went sightseeing together on weekends, which was a fun way to stay active and socialise.

提案: ตอบตรงๆและชัดเจน อธิบายความแตกต่างและให้ตัวอย่างของกิจกรรมร่วม ใช้ linking words เช่น “but”, “however”, “although” และหลีกเลี่ยงโครงสร้างประโยคที่ไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ เช่น “can separate some duty” ให้เปลี่ยนเป็นการแบ่งหน้าที่หรือทำร่วมกัน

例: No, my hobbies are quite different from my family’s. For example, my family enjoys cooking while I prefer eating and trying new restaurants. However, we still enjoy sharing meals together and sometimes split tasks when we cook as a family.

× I want to give the example as a my hobby in the life.

✓ I want to give an example of a hobby in my life.

The sentence uses incorrect articles and word order. Use 'an example' (indefinite article before a vowel sound) and 'of a hobby' to show relationship. Also 'my' should modify 'life' not 'hobby' so correct word order is 'a hobby in my life'.

× For the exercising I usually shoot swimming and sometime in a leisure time I spend spend time for reading.

✓ For exercise I usually go swimming and sometimes in my leisure time I spend time reading.

Use the noun 'exercise' (not 'exercising' after 'for') and the verb phrase 'go swimming'. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. Use 'in my leisure time' and the structure 'spend time reading' (no 'for'). Removed duplicated 'spend'.

× When I was shy, I usually spend time for swimming because of my mother office have a swimming pool.

✓ When I was a child, I usually spent time swimming because my mother's office had a swimming pool.

Context likely refers to childhood not 'shy'; change to 'a child'. Use past tense 'spent' and 'had' for past situations. 'Spend time for swimming' is incorrect; use 'spent time swimming'. Use possessive 'my mother's office'.

× It seem like that I can have the exercise costly with the my mother and available for my mother.

✓ It seemed like I could exercise with my mother and it was convenient for her.

Use past tense 'seemed' and modal 'could' for ability in the past. 'Have the exercise costly' is incorrect; use 'exercise' as verb. Remove extra 'the' before 'my mother'. Use 'convenient' instead of 'available' to describe suitability.

× Almost I invite my neighborhood friends to ride a bicycle is can, uh, corroborate with the My friends bought the gold and boys, and then we can go sightseeing.

✓ Almost always I invited my neighborhood friends to ride bicycles; my friends bought bikes, and then we could go sightseeing.

The original is jumbled and ungrammatical. 'Almost always' expresses frequency. Use past tense 'invited' and plural 'bicycles'. 'Is can, uh, corroborate with the' is meaningless and removed. 'Bought the gold and boys' likely intended 'bought bikes' or 'bicycles'. Use 'could' for ability/possibility in past.

× My hobby is so different from my family members because of my family like cooking but I like eating.

✓ My hobbies are different from my family members' because my family likes cooking but I like eating.

Use plural 'hobbies' if referring to multiple, or keep singular consistent; here changed to plural. Use possessive 'family members'' and correct verb agreement 'family likes'. 'Because of' is unnecessary; 'because' suffices.

× Even we have a different hobby but we can share the memory together and can separate some duty.

✓ Even though we have different hobbies, we can share memories together and divide some duties.

Cannot use 'even' and 'but' together; use 'even though' or 'although'. Use plural 'hobbies' and 'memories'. 'Separate some duty' is awkward; use 'divide some duties' or 'share duties'.