Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hobbies, then give one or two brief, specific reasons using linking words (e.g., because, and). Avoid filler words and repetition.

例: I have several hobbies. My favorite is playing hide-and-seek with my friends because it’s fun and helps me relax. I also enjoy running sometimes because it makes me feel energetic and satisfied.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and use past tense consistently. Use linking words to connect ideas and give one specific detail or memory to make the response more vivid.

例: Yes, I had many hobbies as a child. For example, I often played cricket and hide-and-seek with my classmates because we enjoyed being active and laughing together. I also used to run around the park after school, which made me feel energetic.

提案: Answer directly and clearly with correct tense. Explain reasons briefly and coherently using linking words (e.g., however, because, so). Keep it to two or three sentences and avoid contradictions.

例: No, I don’t have a hobby that I’ve kept since childhood. I used to be very outgoing, but as an adult I faced many challenges and became more introverted, and because of my busy work schedule I haven’t continued those hobbies.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and explain differences with specific examples. Use concise sentences and linking words (for example, while, because) to compare your hobbies with your family’s.

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family’s. For example, my family members are quite religious and prefer quiet activities like prayer and religious gatherings, while I enjoy listening to music and social games, so our interests don’t overlap much.

× Yes I have many hobbies but some of my favorite is doing hide and seek with my friends and however some time running it is for me is it is excited and it feels satisfied when I do these hobbies.

✓ Yes, I have many hobbies, but some of my favorites are playing hide-and-seek with my friends and sometimes running; these activities excite me and make me feel satisfied.

The sentence had singular/plural mismatches: 'some of my favorite is' should be 'some of my favorites are' because 'some' requires plural noun and plural verb. 'Hide and seek' is a noun phrase best expressed as 'playing hide-and-seek'. 'Some time running' is incorrect; use 'sometimes running' or 'running sometimes'. Also improve verb agreements and word order to make the sentence natural. Suggestion: Ensure 'some of' takes plural noun and verb, use 'playing' before games, and place adverbs like 'sometimes' before or after the verb appropriately.

× Just when I was a child, I was very sociable, I remember that time. So I have a lot of hobbies such as playing cricket with my friends and playing hide and seek with my friends because it is fun and help us relax and laugh together. I also enjoy running sometimes and it make me feel energetic and satisfied.

✓ When I was a child, I was very sociable and had many hobbies such as playing cricket and playing hide-and-seek with my friends because they were fun and helped us relax and laugh together. I also enjoyed running sometimes; it made me feel energetic and satisfied.

Mixed tenses: the speaker refers to childhood, so past tense should be used consistently. 'I have a lot of hobbies' should be 'I had a lot of hobbies'. 'It is fun and help us' should be 'they were fun and helped us' to match plural subject and past tense. 'It make me' should be 'it made me'. Suggestion: Keep past-tense verbs throughout when describing past habits and ensure subject-verb agreement ('they were', 'helped').

× No, I was in child childhood I was a extrovert but when I was adult and I face a lot of challenges so I become introvert and I have not such a a hobby and moreover just such as busy schedule and work so I can't do hobbies.

✓ No. In my childhood I was an extrovert, but when I became an adult and faced a lot of challenges I became introverted and I did not maintain any such hobbies. Moreover, because of a busy schedule and work I cannot do hobbies now.

Multiple article errors: 'in child childhood' should be 'in my childhood'. 'I was a extrovert' requires 'an extrovert'. 'When I was adult' should be 'when I became an adult'. Also tense consistency: use past tense ('became', 'faced') for past events and present tense for current inability ('cannot'). Suggestion: Use 'a' before consonant sounds and 'an' before vowel sounds, include possessive 'my' for 'childhood', and keep tenses consistent.

× No, they are a lot of they are are different from me like do some they are religious and I'm not really just type they do not listen music and more religious thing but I listen a lot of these things. So they are profound form from me and they have not since we have not sent.

✓ No, many of them are different from me. Some are very religious and do not listen to music, while I listen to music a lot. So they are quite different from me and we have different beliefs.

Pronoun and phrasing errors: 'they are a lot of they are are different from me' is unclear; use 'many of them are different from me'. 'Do some they are religious' should be 'some are very religious'. 'Do not listen music' requires preposition 'listen to music'. 'So they are profound form from me' is incorrect; use 'quite different from me'. Remove unclear fragment 'they have not since we have not sent'. Suggestion: Use clear pronoun references ('many of them', 'some of them'), correct verb patterns with prepositions ('listen to'), and simplify sentences to express contrasts.