Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid tense and article mistakes (e.g., say “I’m expecting a baby” and “I’ve been relaxing recently”).

例: I have several hobbies: going to the gym, watching films and studying English. Lately, because I’m expecting a baby, I’ve been taking things easier, so I’ve been focusing on light exercise and watching movies at home.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct small phrasing issues (e.g., “my older sister” not “our older sister”; quantify or qualify the number naturally).

例: Yes. As a child, I enjoyed playing video games and reading comic books. In fact, my older sister shared those hobbies, so together we collected thousands of comics, which filled a large shelf in our house.

提案: Make the time reference and grammar correct and focus on one or two hobbies to avoid list clutter. Use linking words (e.g., “but” or “however”) properly, and give a specific example of how your routine changed.

例: Yes. I have enjoyed swimming and reading comic books since I was a child, but recently I’ve been very busy with work, so I don’t have enough time to swim regularly or read as much as I used to.

提案: Clarify the subject and tense, avoid filler words like “uh,” and structure the answer: state yes/no, then explain with one or two specific details. Correct grammar (e.g., “Yes, my older sister and I share hobbies”).

例: Yes. My older sister and I share hobbies like reading comic books and playing video games, so we often exchange recommendations. Even my parents enjoyed some of the comics when they were younger, which made our collection a family interest.

× Yes, my hobbies are going to the gym, watching movies and studying English.

✓ Yes, my hobbies are going to the gym, watching movies, and studying English.

List items in a series require commas between them (serial/Oxford comma optional but use for clarity). Add a comma before 'and' to separate the final item. This is punctuation rather than verb form, but it affects clarity of the present participle list.

× However, I'm currently expecting a baby so I take things a bit easier and I just relaxed recently.

✓ However, I'm currently expecting a baby, so I am taking things a bit easier and I have been relaxing recently.

Tense inconsistency: 'I'm currently expecting' (present continuous) should pair with 'am taking' (present continuous) for ongoing action. 'Just relaxed recently' mixes simple past with recent ongoing context; use present perfect progressive or present perfect ('have been relaxing' or 'have relaxed') to show recent continuous or recent action.

× Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed playing video games and reading comic books.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed playing video games and reading comic books.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It correctly uses past tense 'was' and 'enjoyed' for childhood activities.

× Our older sister also had the same hobbies so we had more than 4000 comic books at my house.

✓ Our older sister also had the same hobbies, so we had more than 4,000 comic books at my house.

Number formatting: include comma in large numbers for readability. Added a comma before 'so' to separate clauses. Content and plurality are correct.

× Yes, I enjoy swimming and playing video games and reading comic books since.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed swimming, playing video games, and reading comic books since childhood.

Use present perfect ('have enjoyed') with 'since' to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also reorder and punctuate the list for clarity and add the time reference 'childhood' to complete 'since.'

× I was a kids however recently I've worked hard so I don't know enough time to enjoy this.

✓ I was a kid; however, recently I've been working hard, so I don't have enough time to enjoy these hobbies.

Multiple issues: 'a kids' is wrong—use singular 'a kid.' 'I've worked hard' suggests completed action; use present perfect continuous 'I've been working hard' to show ongoing effort. 'Don't know enough time' is ungrammatical; correct is 'don't have enough time.' Also 'this' (singular) should match plural 'hobbies' so use 'these hobbies.' Added punctuation to join clauses properly.

× Yes I am my older sister had the same hobbies such as reading comic books and playing video games so we can share our opinions with each other and uh my parents also enjoyed the games and the comic books that we.

✓ Yes, my older sister and I had the same hobbies, such as reading comic books and playing video games, so we could share our opinions with each other, and my parents also enjoyed the games and comic books that we had.

Pronoun and word order errors: 'Yes I am my older sister' is incorrect; correct order is 'my older sister and I.' Use past tense 'had' to match the past context. 'So we can' should be 'so we could' to match past timeframe. Sentence ended abruptly 'that we.' Complete it as 'that we had.' Added commas to separate clauses and improve clarity.