Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your hobby, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Focus on correct tense, articles, and word choice (e.g., 'helped me relax after stressful days', 'open an imaginary world', 'I can immerse myself').

例: I enjoy reading. It helps me relax after stressful days and opens up an imaginary world where I can immerse myself. For example, I often connect with a book's main character and feel their emotions, which makes reading very engaging for me.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence ('Yes, I did—reading.'). Use precise nouns and plural forms ('books', 'romance novels'). Explain briefly with a linking word (e.g., 'because' or 'so') and give a short specific example. Avoid hesitations like 'umm'.

例: Yes, I did — I was into reading. When I was little I read a lot of books, especially romance novels, but I couldn't always afford them. So I often borrowed books from friends' or neighbors' bookshelves to keep reading.

提案: Start with a clear, confident topic sentence and avoid filler words. Use correct collocations ('making models', 'buildings or characters') and link reasons with connectors ('because', 'which helps'). Replace informal phrases like 'blow up steam' with 'relieve stress'. Keep to two to three supporting sentences.

例: Yes — since childhood I've enjoyed making scale models, especially buildings and characters. I think it helped me focus and was a creative outlet that relieved stress from heavy schoolwork.

提案: Be direct and correct grammar. Begin with a clear topic sentence ('No, my hobbies are different from my family's.'). Avoid slang ('kinda weird') and use correct verb forms and articles ('my sister loves playing with dolls'). Give one clear example and a short reason to support your statement.

例: No, my hobbies are different from my family's. For example, my sister enjoys playing with dolls, while I prefer reading books in my free time because I find them more relaxing and stimulating.

× Of course, I have so many things that I enjoy doing, but reading is the one that I most enjoyed.

✓ Of course, I have so many things that I enjoy doing, but reading is the one I enjoy most.

The sentence mixes present and past tense: 'I enjoy doing' (present) vs 'I most enjoyed' (past). Maintain present tense to match 'have' and 'enjoy'. Change 'most enjoyed' to 'enjoy most' for correct present tense and natural word order.

× It helped me relax up to stress hour and open a imaginary world for me to emerge myself in it and can some I can sometime imagine.

✓ It helped me relax after stressful hours and opened an imaginary world for me to immerse myself in and sometimes imagine.

Multiple issues: 'relax up to stress hour' is incorrect preposition and noun form; use 'after stressful hours'. 'Open a imaginary world' needs past tense to match 'helped' and requires the article 'an' before a vowel sound. 'Emerge myself in it' is wrong reflexive and verb choice; use 'immerse myself in'. 'Can some I can sometime imagine' is ungrammatical; simplify to 'and sometimes imagine'.

× I like a character in it so that I can feel the emotions of the main character.

✓ I like a character in it so that I can feel the emotions of the main character.

Sentence is repetitive but grammatically acceptable. However, redundancy 'a character' and 'the main character' could be improved to 'I like the main character so I can feel their emotions.' No correction required by the given list, so original sentence is retained.

× It's reading as well.

✓ It is reading as well.

Contraction 'It's' expands to 'It is' which is acceptable; tense is present. No structural error per list. Keeping 'It is reading as well' preserves present tense. (Note: stylistically 'Reading is as well' or 'Reading is too' would be more natural.)

× Umm, when I was little I used to read a lot of book, especially when it comes to romantic one.

✓ Umm, when I was little I used to read a lot of books, especially romantic ones.

Count noun agreement: 'a lot of book' should be plural 'books' (singular/plural issue). Also 'when it comes to romantic one' is awkward; use 'especially romantic ones'. This also aligns with past habitual 'used to'.

× But unfortunately I don't have much money to buy books.

✓ But unfortunately I didn't have much money to buy books.

Context refers to childhood (past), so tense should be past: 'didn't have'. The phrase 'much money' is fine. Changed to past tense to match surrounding sentences.

× So whenever I come to any houses, I look for books in their bookshelves and immediately borrow them for reading.

✓ So whenever I went to other people's houses, I looked for books on their bookshelves and borrowed them to read.

Tense should be past to match 'when I was little'. Use 'went' and 'looked' and 'borrowed'. Preposition: 'on their bookshelves' is correct rather than 'in'. 'Other people's houses' is more natural than 'any houses'.

× If my memory serves me right when I was little, I really love making models, especially something like buildings or character.

✓ If my memory serves me right, when I was little I really loved making models, especially buildings or characters.

Mixes present 'love' with past context 'when I was little' — change to past 'loved'. Plural forms: 'buildings or characters' should be plural to match 'something like' and be natural.

× Is uh is a scene to be games for boys but I don't know why.

✓ It was seen to be a game for boys, but I don't know why.

Original is ungrammatical. Interpret as 'It was seen to be a game for boys.' Use passive 'was seen' and 'game' singular, and change tense to past to match childhood context.

× I find it really interesting and can help me blow up steam up to so many work at school.

✓ I found it really interesting and it helped me blow off steam from so much school work.

Change 'find' to past 'found' to match childhood context. 'Can help me' should be past 'helped me'. Idiom is 'blow off steam'. 'So many work' is incorrect—use 'so much school work' or 'so much schoolwork'.

× I don't think so.

✓ I don't think so.

Short response is grammatically correct; no change needed.

× I think I kind of weird and don't have the same hobby with any members of my family.

✓ I think I'm kind of weird and don't have the same hobbies as any members of my family.

Missing verb 'am' (contraction 'I'm') to link subject and adjective. 'Hobby' should be plural 'hobbies' and use preposition 'as' not 'with' for comparison: 'the same hobbies as'.

× We are really different.

✓ We are really different.

Sentence is correct as is; no change required.

× For example my sister love playing dolls, but for me I don't find it interesting.

✓ For example, my sister loves playing with dolls, but I don't find it interesting.

Subject-verb agreement: 'my sister love' should be 'my sister loves' (third person singular). Also 'playing dolls' is corrected to 'playing with dolls'.

× I just wanna read books if I have time.

✓ I just want to read books if I have time.

'Wanna' is informal spoken form; replace with 'want' for standard grammar. Tense 'have' is fine for present habitual. No modal needed.