Hobby— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, separate different hobbies into short clauses, and add a linking phrase to explain why you enjoy them. Keep it to 2–4 sentences and avoid run-on sentences.

例: I have several hobbies. For example, I enjoy taking photographs of nature because it helps me relax. I also like travelling to new cities to experience different cultures, which broadens my perspective.

提案: Correct verb tenses and grammar, give specific details, and avoid unclear phrases. Use a topic sentence in past tense, then give 1–2 supporting details with reasons or examples. Remove unclear words like 'admire some paternal' or clarify them.

例: When I was a child, I enjoyed singing and listening to music. I also liked painting, especially drawing animals and landscapes, because it made me feel calm and creative.

提案: Provide a concise direct answer and clarify who enjoys it with you. Fix grammar (e.g., 'it relaxes me') and avoid incomplete sentences. Give one specific supporting detail about how you continue the hobby now.

例: Yes, I have continued singing since childhood because it relaxes me. I often sing with classmates and friends during gatherings, and sometimes we perform at small events.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct and more specific. Start with a direct answer, then give a brief example of a shared activity. Avoid vague or unfinished clauses like 'I will dress in some.'

例: Yes, my sister and I both enjoy travelling. We often visit different cities together and take photos of each other at interesting landmarks, which is one of our favourite activities.

× Yes, I have few hobbies I enjoy seeing because it helps me relax taking photos of nature when I go out and travel to a new city to experience different cultures.

✓ Yes, I have a few hobbies I enjoy: taking photos of nature when I go out, and traveling to new cities to experience different cultures.

The phrase 'few hobbies' should be 'a few hobbies' to indicate some hobbies (grammar problem type: singular/plural/quantifier). Also 'taking photos' and 'traveling' are parallel gerunds connected with 'and'. 'A new city' becomes 'new cities' to match general habit and plural form. Suggestion: use 'a few' for a small number and maintain parallel structure with gerunds like 'taking' and 'traveling'.

× When I was a kid, I also like singing and listen to music and I like to painting.

✓ When I was a kid, I also liked singing, listened to music, and liked painting.

The time expression 'When I was a kid' refers to the past, so verbs must be in past tense ('liked', 'listened'). 'Like to painting' is incorrect: after 'like' use gerund 'painting' or infinitive 'to paint'. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time frame and use correct verb forms: 'liked singing', 'listened to music', 'liked painting'.

× And I admire some paternal.

✓ And I admired some of my relatives.

The word 'paternal' is an adjective and cannot stand alone as a noun; it's unclear what is meant. Likely intended 'paternal relatives' or 'my father'. Also tense should match past 'admired'. Suggestion: use a proper noun phrase like 'my father' or 'some of my paternal relatives'.

× I still love singing because it makes me relaxed and my partner or classmate and friends both like to characterize.

✓ I still love singing because it relaxes me, and my partner, classmates, and friends also like to sing.

'Makes me relaxed' is awkward; use 'relaxes me'. 'Classmate and friends both' is ungrammatical—use plural 'classmates' and 'also' for addition. 'Like to characterize' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'sing'. Suggestion: use correct verbs and natural collocations: 'relaxes me' and 'also like to sing'.

× And the.

✓ (Sentence removed or completed)

'And the.' is an incomplete sentence fragment without a verb or object, so it should be completed or removed. Suggestion: either finish the thought (for example, 'And the audience enjoyed it.') or delete the fragment.

× Yes, my sister also like traveling and we can go traveling to a lot of cities and taking photos to each other and I will dress in some.

✓ Yes, my sister also likes traveling, and we travel to many cities and take photos of each other; I also dress up sometimes.

Subject-verb agreement: 'my sister also like' should be 'likes' (third person singular). 'We can go traveling to a lot of cities and taking photos to each other' mixes forms—use parallel verbs 'travel' and 'take photos of each other'. 'Taking photos to each other' is wrong preposition; use 'of'. 'I will dress in some' is unclear; likely 'dress up sometimes'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement, use parallel verb forms, correct prepositions ('photos of each other'), and clarify adverbs ('sometimes').