Chatting— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Aim for varied vocabulary (e.g., 'discuss' instead of 'talk about') and correct minor grammar (e.g., avoid repeating phrases).

例: Yes, I enjoy chatting with my friends. For example, my friend Aradhya and I often discuss vehicles — she knows a lot about bikes while I’m more interested in cars — and we also share stories about school and daily events.

提案: Avoid filler words and repetition; organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific examples. Use linking words (for example, also, besides) to connect ideas and improve coherence. Correct grammar (e.g., 'knowledge of bikes', 'we sometimes talk about our families').

例: Usually we talk about vehicles and people. For example, Aradhya talks about bikes because she knows a lot about them, while I discuss cars; besides that, we occasionally talk about our friends and families when we share personal stories.

提案: Be concise and use clearer, more formal phrasing. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give two concise reasons linked with connectors (for example, because, so). Avoid casual phrases like 'gonna' and unneeded repetition.

例: I prefer chatting with one friend rather than a group. This is because private conversations stay between two people, and they reduce the chance of misunderstandings or conflicts spreading through a larger group.

提案: Good answer: clear topic sentence and specific supporting detail. To improve, vary vocabulary slightly and make the example briefer and tighter. Use one linking phrase to connect reason and example.

例: I prefer face-to-face communication because I can read facial expressions and body language, which helps me avoid misunderstandings. For example, seeing someone’s gestures makes the conversation feel more natural and clear.

提案: Remove fillers like 'umm' and correct vocabulary ('disagree' not 'disargo'). Start with a clear statement, give a concise reason and an example, and finish with how you resolve disagreements. Keep it to two or three sentences.

例: Yes, I sometimes argue with friends when we disagree about plans or opinions. For instance, we might disagree about where to go, but we usually talk it through afterwards until we reach a compromise.

× I mostly chat about people with them.

✓ I mostly chat with them about people.

The pronoun placement and word order are awkward. 'Chat about people with them' places the prepositional phrase last and sounds unnatural. Move the object 'with them' immediately after 'chat' to form a natural verb+prepositional object order: 'chat with them about people.' Suggestion: Use the common collocation 'chat with someone about something.'

× And we also talk about cars and bikes because me and my friend Aradhya, we always talk about cars and bikes because we both like vehicles.

✓ We also talk about cars and bikes because my friend Aradhya and I always talk about them since we both like vehicles.

Use subject pronoun 'I' instead of 'me' in the subject coordinate phrase. Avoid repeating the same clause twice. Combine ideas and use 'them' to refer back to 'cars and bikes.' Suggestion: Put yourself last in a compound subject ('my friend Aradhya and I') and avoid repetition.

× And then we talk about people and about our school and everything.

✓ Then we talk about people, our school, and everything else.

The phrase 'and about our school' is redundant with repeated 'about.' Simplify the list and use parallel structure: 'people, our school, and everything else.' Suggestion: Use parallel list items without repeating prepositions.

× Like we usually talk about all of the things that happen in our lives.

✓ We usually talk about all the things that happen in our lives.

Beginning with 'Like' is conversational filler and unnecessary in formal correction. Use 'all the things' instead of 'all of the things' for conciseness. Suggestion: Remove filler words and prefer concise phrasing.

× As I earlier said in the last, uh, answer, we talk about people and cars and bikes.

✓ As I said earlier, we talk about people, cars, and bikes.

Word order should be 'said earlier' rather than 'earlier said in the last answer.' 'In the last answer' is redundant with 'earlier.' Remove filler 'uh.' Suggestion: Use 'As I said earlier' for clarity.

× She always talks about bikes because she has the knowledge about the, uh, the bikes and I have the knowledge about cars.

✓ She always talks about bikes because she knows about them, and I know about cars.

'Has the knowledge about' is wordy and unnatural. Use the verb 'know about' with the object 'them' to refer back to bikes. Remove filler 'uh' and duplicate 'the.' Suggestion: Use simpler verbs like 'know' and refer back with pronouns.

× So we usually talk about that.

✓ So we usually talk about those topics.

'That' is vague; use 'those topics' to be clear and match plural 'cars and bikes.' Suggestion: Match demonstrative to the referenced plural items.

× And if that's not like our topic, then we talk about people like our friends, our families.

✓ If that's not our topic, we talk about people, such as our friends and our families.

Avoid filler 'like' used twice; use 'such as' to introduce examples and keep parallel list structure with 'friends and our families.' Suggestion: Use 'such as' or 'for example' for examples and keep lists parallel.

× Sometimes. We sometimes talk our families, though we mostly talk about friends.

✓ Sometimes we talk about our families, though we mostly talk about friends.

'Sometimes.' as a fragment is unnecessary. Include the verb 'about' after 'talk' and combine into one sentence for clarity. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments and ensure 'talk about' is used with the object.

× I prefer to chat with only one friend of mine that is also Aradhya because when I talk with one person, it only stays in two people conversation.

✓ I prefer to chat with just one friend, Aradhya, because when I talk with one person it remains a two-person conversation.

Use 'just one friend' or 'only one friend' with a comma to set off the appositive 'Aradhya.' 'Stays in two people conversation' is ungrammatical; use 'remains a two-person conversation.' Suggestion: Use 'two-person' as a compound adjective and proper apposition punctuation.

× It does not go with all over the group and someone in the group is like related to that one person that we're talking to.

✓ It does not spread to the whole group, and someone in the group may be related to the person we're talking about.

'Go with all over the group' is incorrect; use 'spread to the whole group.' 'Is like related' is colloquial; use 'may be related.' Use 'person we're talking about' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'spread' for information passing and avoid 'like' as a filler.

× Then that person will tell that person and that's gonna be a conflict or a fight.

✓ Then that person might tell them, and that could lead to a conflict or a fight.

Avoid repeating 'that person' and replace with pronoun 'them.' Use modal 'might' or 'could' to express possibility rather than certainty, and 'gonna' is informal; use 'going to' or 'could lead to.' Suggestion: Use appropriate modal verbs for possibility and avoid slang.

× It's gonna end up in that.

✓ It could end up like that.

'Gonna' is informal; use 'could' or 'might' for possibility. 'End up in that' is unidiomatic; use 'end up like that.' Suggestion: Use standard modal verbs and idiomatic expressions.

× I prefer face to face communication because I read people's facial expressions and body language, which helps me understand the emotions and intentions.

✓ I prefer face-to-face communication because I can read people's facial expressions and body language, which helps me understand their emotions and intentions.

Use hyphenated 'face-to-face' as a compound adjective. Add modal 'can' for ability and change 'the emotions and intentions' to 'their emotions and intentions' to clarify possession. Suggestion: Hyphenate compound adjectives and use possessive pronouns for clarity.

× For example, seeing someone's gestures often makes it easier to avoid misunderstanding, so conversations feel more natural and effective when talking to that one person.

✓ For example, seeing someone's gestures often makes it easier to avoid misunderstandings, so conversations feel more natural and effective when I talk to that person.

Use plural 'misunderstandings' for general reference. Make subject explicit 'I talk to that person' instead of passive 'talking to that one person' for clarity. Suggestion: Keep subject consistent and pluralize general nouns when appropriate.

× Umm, yes, I sometimes argue with friends, but only when we disargo or cannot reach the same points.

✓ Yes, I sometimes argue with friends, but only when we disagree or cannot reach the same point of view.

'Disargo' is not a word; replace with 'disagree.' Use 'point of view' or 'opinions' rather than 'points' to be natural. Remove filler 'Umm.' Suggestion: Use precise verbs like 'disagree' and common nouns like 'opinions' or 'point of view.'

× For example, we might argue about plans or opinions that someone has.

✓ For example, we might argue about plans or someone's opinions.

'Opinions that someone has' is wordy; 'someone's opinions' is concise. Keep the sentence direct. Suggestion: Prefer possessive forms to reduce wordiness.

× Umm, that's why. And we need to also sort it out, that's why.

✓ That's why, and we need to sort things out.

Avoid filler 'Umm.' Remove repeated 'that's why.' Use 'sort things out' as the natural collocation. Suggestion: Eliminate redundant phrases and use idiomatic expressions like 'sort things out.'