Museum— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is direct, well organized, and supported with relevant examples. However, “the history of the past” is redundant, and “scientific technology” would sound more natural as “scientific developments.” Avoid using both “Of course” and “absolutely,” since one strong opener is enough. You could also add a specific result or personal reason to make the answer more developed.

例: Yes, I think museums are extremely important because they help people learn about art, history, and scientific developments. For example, visitors can see historical artifacts and understand how people lived in the past. They also make learning more interesting than simply reading about these subjects in a textbook.

提案: You answer the question directly, but the response contains several grammatical and word-choice problems. Use “in my hometown, Beijing,” “There is a museum dedicated...,” and “There are art galleries...” instead of “They are museum,” “gard galleries,” and “throughout the decade.” The sentence about the Cold War is unclear, and the answer needs linking words to organize the different types of museums. Give two or three clear examples rather than trying to list too many places.

例: Yes, there are quite a few museums in my hometown, Beijing. For example, there is a museum dedicated to military history, including equipment from the Cold War. There are also several art galleries, as well as natural-history museums that display fossils and other historical artifacts.

提案: Your main idea and reason are clear, and “However” is used appropriately. Nevertheless, the answer repeats the idea that you visit museums every year, and “preoccupied with my working schedule” is less natural than “busy with work” or “tied up with my work schedule.” Give the frequency once and add a brief detail about what kind of museum you usually visit or why you go.

例: I don’t visit museums very often these days because I’m usually busy with work. However, I try to go at least once a year, especially when a museum has a special exhibition. I enjoy visiting history museums because they give me a clearer picture of how people lived in the past.

提案: You provide a clear time, place, and evaluation, which gives the answer a good basic structure. However, “The end of last year” is repetitive after “in December,” and the museum’s name should be checked; it is likely “the Auckland War Memorial Museum,” not “the Auckland Warmer Museum.” Use “at the end of last year” and add one specific detail about what you saw or why the experience was fascinating.

例: The last time I visited a museum was in December, at the end of last year. I went to the Auckland War Memorial Museum near Auckland’s CBD. I found it fascinating because I saw military exhibits and learned more about New Zealand’s history.

× They are museum dedicated to military equipment throughout the decade during the Cold War.

✓ They are museums dedicated to military equipment throughout the decades during the Cold War.

The plural pronoun they refers to more than one museum, so museum must be changed to the plural form museums. Decades is also more appropriate because the Cold War lasted for many years, not just one decade.

× They are museum dedicated to military equipment throughout the decade during the Cold War.

✓ They are museums dedicated to military equipment throughout the decades during the Cold War.

A singular countable noun needs an article, such as a or the. However, because they refers to multiple museums, the noun should be pluralized instead, so no article is needed before museums.

× They are museum dedicated to military equipment throughout the decade during the Cold War.

✓ They are museums dedicated to military equipment throughout the decades during the Cold War.

The expression throughout the decade is grammatically possible when referring to one specific decade, but the intended meaning appears to cover several decades. Therefore, decade should be changed to decades.

× There are art galleries and there are natural and historical museums dedicated to historical artifacts well.

✓ There are art galleries, as well as natural history museums and historical museums dedicated to historical artifacts.

The adverb well cannot be used alone at the end to mean also. The correct expression is as well, but as well as is more natural here because it connects the additional types of museums to the art galleries.

× However, I still do visit museums on a yearly basis I visit museums every year.

✓ However, I still visit museums every year.

The original contains two complete clauses joined without appropriate punctuation or a conjunction, creating a run-on sentence. It also repeats the same idea. Combining the meaning into one concise sentence makes the structure grammatical and natural.

× The end of last year I visited the Auckland Warmer Museum near the Auckland CBD.

✓ At the end of last year, I visited the Auckland Warmer Museum near Auckland CBD.

When referring to a specific point in time, use at before the noun phrase the end of last year. A comma should follow this introductory time phrase. In addition, Auckland CBD is generally used without the article the when referring to the place name.