Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar issues; start with a clear topic sentence, then provide two specific supporting details linked with a connector. Avoid redundancy (e.g., 'at the moment' plus 'when I was at school' is repetitive).

例: I’m not a school student now, but when I attended school we had several rules. For example, we had to wear uniforms, and phones were banned during lessons to reduce distractions. These rules helped maintain focus and a sense of discipline.

提案: Give a clear opinion in one sentence, then explain with two specific reasons linked by connectors. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., 'concentration' not 'concentrations'; unclear phrase 'banning a usage of fonts' likely wrong). Avoid fragmented sentences.

例: I don’t think simply adding more rules always helps. While sensible rules—such as banning phones during lessons—can reduce distractions and boost concentration, overly strict or unclear rules can be counterproductive and harm student motivation.

提案: Good content and clear details—avoid repetition ('he was' used several times). Combine sentences and use linking words for fluency. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes. My history teacher was strict but very dedicated: he stayed after class to help students prepare for exams and used vivid stories and original materials to bring the past to life, which made me much more interested in the subject.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then support with specific reasons and correct word choice (use 'concentration' or 'behaviour' instead of 'considerations'). Use a linking phrase to contrast ideas.

例: I prefer a moderate number of sensible rules. For example, clear rules on behaviour and phones help students stay productive, but overly strict rules that limit freedom can be damaging to morale.

提案: Clarify and correct meaning: avoid unclear phrases ('He instead did on punctuality', 'gave extra excitement'). Provide a concise account with cause and result linked logically. Use past tense consistently and correct collocations (e.g., 'punished students' and 'took our preparation more seriously').

例: Yes. My history teacher punished students who missed homework and focused strongly on punctuality. Once he reprimanded the whole class after many missed deadlines, and as a result we began preparing our work more carefully.

提案: Clear and direct answer. To improve, make the first sentence a strong topic sentence, then give one or two brief, specific reasons linked with 'because' or 'so'. Correct minor grammar (use 'patience' without article, and 'lets me' or 'would let me').

例: No, I wouldn’t. I don’t have the patience required for teaching, and I prefer jobs that let me work independently and concentrate on technical skills instead of managing a classroom.

× Actually, I'm not a school student at the moment, but when I was at school we had several rules.

✓ Actually, I'm not a school student at the moment, but when I was at school there were several rules.

The clause refers to the existence of rules in the past; English normally uses the 'there be' construction ('there were') to state that something existed. Using 'we had several rules' is not strictly wrong, but when contrasting current status with past existence, 'there were several rules' is clearer and fits the 'there be' pattern.

× For instance, we had to wear specific uniforms and we were not allowed to use phones during lessons, which helps to reduce distractions.

✓ For instance, we had to wear specific uniforms and we were not allowed to use phones during lessons, which helped to reduce distractions.

The sentence refers to a past context ('we had', 'were not allowed'), so the relative clause should use past tense ('helped'). Using present tense 'helps' creates a tense inconsistency. Correcting tense resolves the prepositional/adverbial time consistency.

× I think it depends on rules, because some rules can help to reduce distractions and improve concentrations, for example banning a usage of fonts during the lessons, but other rules can. Damage or be unnecessary?

✓ I think it depends on the rules, because some rules can help to reduce distractions and improve concentration, for example banning the use of phones during lessons, but other rules can be damaging or unnecessary.

Multiple issues: 'depends on rules' needs the definite article 'the' to refer to specific rules (article error/type 22); 'concentrations' should be the uncountable noun 'concentration'; 'a usage of fonts' is incorrect: 'the use of phones' fits the context (likely intended); sentence fragment 'but other rules can. Damage or be unnecessary?' is incorrect punctuation and word choice. Combining into a single sentence using 'can be damaging or unnecessary' fixes adjective/adverb and sentence structure errors.

× Yes, I have. He was my history teacher and also he was quite strict.

✓ Yes, I have. He was my history teacher and he was quite strict.

Redundant use of 'also he was' creates awkward phrasing. Removing 'also' or repositioning it is clearer. This is a pronoun/pronominal reference and redundancy issue; keeping 'he was' once is grammatically correct.

× He was also extremely dedicated.

✓ He was extremely dedicated.

Using 'also' is redundant because previous sentence already noted his dedication; removing 'also' improves style and maintains simple past tense consistent with recounting past events.

× For example, he stayed after class to help students to prepare for exams, and he used vivid stories and original materials to make the past come alive, which made me really interested in the subject.

✓ For example, he stayed after class to help students prepare for exams, and he used vivid stories and original materials to make the past come alive, which made me really interested in the subject.

When following 'help', the infinitive without 'to' or the 'to'-infinitive are both possible, but 'help students prepare' is more natural than 'help students to prepare' in spoken English. This adjusts verb form usage for naturalness.

× I would prefer a balanced number of rules because, as I said, some sensible rules can help students be more productive and improve their considerations, while other rules can be damaging and overly strict.

✓ I would prefer a balanced number of rules because, as I said, some sensible rules can help students be more productive and improve their concentration, while other rules can be damaging and overly strict.

'Improve their considerations' is incorrect collocation; the intended noun is 'concentration'. This is a lexical/prepositional choice issue. Replacing with 'concentration' makes the meaning clear.

× Yes I have. My history teacher was extremely strict and he would punish students if they didn't do their homework.

✓ Yes, I have. My history teacher was extremely strict and he would punish students if they didn't do their homework.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. 'Would' is used to describe habitual past behaviour. No correction needed; included here to indicate no change was required.

× He instead did on punctuality and once gave extra excitement to everyone in the class because several people missed deadlines.

✓ He focused on punctuality instead and once gave extra detention to everyone in the class because several people missed deadlines.

Original uses 'did on punctuality' (incorrect verb phrase) and 'gave extra excitement' (wrong noun choice). 'Focused on punctuality' is the correct verb-preposition collocation; 'gave extra detention' (or 'gave extra work') matches disciplinary context. This fixes verb/preposition and noun choice errors.

× After this situation we took preparation more seriously.

✓ After that situation, we took preparation more seriously.

Add a comma after the introductory adverbial phrase and replace 'this' with 'that' for natural reference to a previously mentioned event. Also 'After that situation, we prepared more seriously' is another option; adjusting word order improves clarity.

× I'm not really suited for teaching because I don't have patience for it and I would prefer a job that let me work independently and focus on technical skills rather than on managing a classroom.

✓ I'm not really suited for teaching because I don't have the patience for it and I would prefer a job that would let me work independently and focus on technical skills rather than managing a classroom.

Missing article 'the' before 'patience' (article error); 'that let me' should be 'that would let me' to match conditional/modal tone about preference. Also 'rather than on managing' is wordy; 'rather than managing' is more natural.