Rules— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific examples with correct vocabulary. Avoid hesitations and repeated words. Correct sentence structure and word choice (e.g., 'students cannot have hair longer than their shoulders' and 'students cannot bleach or dye their hair').

例: Yes. My high school had many strict rules. For example, students were not allowed to have hair longer than shoulder length, and we were forbidden to bleach or dye our hair different colors.

提案: Start with a clear direct opinion, then give a linked reason and a specific consequence. Use linking words (Because, For example, Therefore). Avoid trailing off; finish your thought with a clear result.

例: No. I don't think more rules would help because they would increase pressure on students. For example, forcing everyone to have the same haircut can harm individuality and lower students' confidence.

提案: Answer the question directly and relevantly. If you haven't had a dedicated teacher, say so and explain briefly why, with one or two clear reasons or an example. Avoid irrelevant details (like a T-shirt) and unclear phrasing.

例: No, I haven't had a truly dedicated teacher. Most teachers treated us professionally, and I felt they kept a balanced approach rather than going beyond their duties to support individual students.

提案: Give a clear preference, then support it with a specific reason and example. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'rules' not 'route') and clean sentence structure. Limit to two to three sentences.

例: I prefer fewer rules at school because strict regulations feel restrictive. For example, constant policing of uniforms and neatness made students anxious instead of helping them learn.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence stating you had a strict teacher, then give specific examples of their strictness and a brief comment on the effect. Use correct nouns and verbs (e.g., 'math teacher', 'very strict') and avoid hesitations.

例: Yes. I had a very strict math teacher when I worked at the high school. She insisted we arrive on time and submit homework promptly, which improved students' discipline but also made some of us nervous.

提案: State your opinion directly and give a clear reason using correct grammar. Explain briefly why you would not like that job, and mention one or two relevant skills or experiences you lack. Avoid many hesitations and repeated words.

例: No, I wouldn't. I have never wanted to be a teacher because I lack confidence in my speaking and teaching skills, so I don't feel comfortable managing a classroom even in a rule-free environment.

× Yes, absolutely. When I was in high school.

✓ Yes, absolutely. When I was in high school, there were many rules at my school.

The original fragment 'When I was in high school.' is a sentence fragment (no main verb) and does not complete the thought. Combine it with a main clause and use past tense 'were' to match the time reference. Suggestion: connect dependent clause to an independent clause and ensure a verb is present.

× There are so many rules in my school.

✓ There were so many rules at my school.

The speaker refers to past time ('When I was in high school'), so the quantifier sentence should be in past tense. Also use 'at my school' (more natural than 'in my school') when talking about rules. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with context.

× For example like student cannot keep their head long longer than UH shoulders and student cannot breathe their hair or dye other colors.

✓ For example, students could not keep their hair longer than their shoulders and students could not bleach their hair or dye it other colors.

Multiple issues: 'student' should be plural 'students' to match plural pronoun 'their' (subject-verb agreement/number). 'Keep their head long longer' is incorrect; intended meaning is 'keep their hair longer than their shoulders'. 'Cannot breathe their hair' is incorrect word choice; 'bleach' fits meaning. Use past modal 'could not' to match past context. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches pronouns and choose correct verbs for intended meaning.

× No, I don't think so because uh, setting many rules for students can, uh, make them feel pressure.

✓ No, I don't think so because setting many rules for students can make them feel pressured.

'Make them feel pressure' is incorrect collocation. Use adjective 'pressured' or 'under pressure' after 'feel'. 'Can' is fine as a modal but keep object complement correct. Suggestion: use 'feel pressured' or 'feel under pressure'.

× For example, if everyone have to cut uh, the hair or for the same style, it might make.

✓ For example, if everyone has to cut their hair to the same style, it might cause problems.

'Everyone' is singular, so the verb should be 'has' not 'have' (subject-verb agreement). 'The hair' is unnatural; use 'their hair'. 'It might make' is incomplete—specify what it makes; 'cause problems' completes the thought. Suggestion: match verb to singular indefinite pronoun and finish the result clause.

× No, I haven't to be honest, but I do have my favorite T-shirt when I was in high school.

✓ No, I haven't, to be honest, but I did have a favorite teacher when I was in high school.

The original mixes tenses and likely misstates 'T-shirt' instead of 'teacher'. 'I haven't' needs completion ('I haven't, to be honest' is acceptable) and the second clause should be past tense 'did have' to match 'when I was in high school.' Also correct noun choice to 'favorite teacher' based on context. Suggestion: ensure pronouns and nouns reflect intended meaning and keep tense consistent.

× But I never dedicate anything like that because I feel like everyone is equal and we respect each other.

✓ But I never dedicated myself to anything like that because I felt everyone was equal and we respected each other.

'Dedicate' requires appropriate tense and reflexive object: 'dedicated myself' in past. Also shift following verbs to past ('felt', 'respected') to maintain past narrative. Suggestion: use correct verb form and reflexive pronoun when the subject acts on themselves.

× Absolutely. I prefer less, uh, route in school because, uh, when I was in school, I don't uh, I didn't like many rules, uh, for example, to keep it always keeping uniform, neatly tidy something.

✓ Absolutely. I prefer fewer rules at school because when I was a student I didn't like many rules; for example, always having to keep the uniform neat and tidy.

Use 'fewer' with countable 'rules' not 'less'. 'Route' is a wrong word for 'rules'. Maintain past tense 'didn't like' to match 'when I was'. 'Keep it always keeping uniform' is ungrammatical; correct phrasing: 'having to keep the uniform neat and tidy.' Suggestion: use 'fewer' for countables, choose correct vocabulary, and simplify the clause.

× Yes, I met 1 teacher when I worked in high school.

✓ Yes, I met one teacher when I was at high school.

Use 'one' spelled out in formal writing. 'When I worked in high school' is likely wrong; student probably means 'when I was in high school' or 'when I worked at a high school'—choose consistent meaning. Here use 'was at high school' to match earlier context. Suggestion: ensure verb and time reference match intended meaning.

× She is, she's a mathematics school and she quite straight in everything.

✓ She was a mathematics teacher and she was quite strict about everything.

'Mathematics school' is wrong; use 'mathematics teacher.' Use past tense 'was' to match narrative. 'Quite straight' should be 'quite strict.' Suggestion: choose correct occupational noun and adjective, and keep tense consistency.

× Uh, when we go to the classroom, we must arrive, uh, on time.

✓ When we went to class, we had to arrive on time.

Maintain past tense narrative: 'went' and 'had to' rather than present 'go' and 'must'. Also 'classroom' → 'class' is more natural. Suggestion: match tense to overall story and use natural collocations.

× We have to hand in homework on time.

✓ We had to hand in our homework on time.

Change to past tense 'had to' and include possessive 'our' for clarity to match past narrative. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and include determiners.

× And ** *** very straight.

✓ And she was very strict.

Original contains noise and missing verb/adjective. Replace with a complete clause 'she was very strict' matching context. Suggestion: ensure every sentence has a subject and verb and use appropriate adjective.

× No, absolutely not. Uh, I don't want to be a teacher from since when I was uh, young, I never talk about to be the teacher because umm, I don't have speaking skill and teaching skill to other people.

✓ No, absolutely not. I don't want to be a teacher; since I was young I never talked about becoming a teacher because I don't have speaking skills or teaching skills to teach other people.

Several issues: 'from since when' is redundant—use 'since'. Use past tense 'talked' for past habit. Use 'becoming a teacher' rather than 'to be the teacher'. 'Speaking skill and teaching skill' should be plural 'skills'. 'To other people' better expressed as 'to teach other people.' Suggestion: simplify time expressions, use 'become' for career aspiration, pluralize 'skills', and maintain consistent tense.