Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 첫 문장에서 선호도와 빈도를 명확하게 답한 점은 좋습니다. 그러나 “because” 뒤의 문장 구조가 길고 부자연스럽습니다. “It’s complicated when I buy shoes because I need to find the right size”처럼 간결하게 표현하세요. 또한 신발 사이즈를 확인하는 구체적인 이유나 경험을 한 문장 추가하고, 같은 의미의 “buy shoes” 반복을 줄이면 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: I don’t really enjoy buying shoes, so I usually buy a new pair only twice a year. It can be complicated because I have to find the right size and make sure the shoes are comfortable. I only shop for them when my old pair is worn out.

提案: 온라인 구매 경험을 제시한 것은 좋지만, 답변이 문장 중간에 끝나서 의미가 완성되지 않았습니다. “I found a pair on an online shopping mall”보다는 “I found a pair on an online shopping website”가 자연스럽습니다. 리뷰가 무엇을 말했는지, 그리고 구매 결과가 어땠는지를 완전한 문장으로 설명하세요. “So”를 반복하기보다 “After checking the reviews”와 같은 연결 표현을 사용하면 더 논리적입니다.

例: Yes, I have. I bought a pair of long boots online because I couldn’t find the style I wanted in local stores. After checking several reviews, I decided to order them. Fortunately, they fit well and looked just like the pictures.

提案: 구체적인 금액을 제시한 점은 좋지만, “about under one hundred dollars”는 “under one hundred dollars” 또는 “around one hundred dollars”로 고쳐야 합니다. “many much money”는 잘못된 표현이므로 “too much money”를 사용하세요. 또한 “it’s not worthy”보다 “they’re not worth spending a lot of money on”이 문맥에 더 적절합니다. 이유를 한 번만 명확하게 연결하여 문장을 간결하게 만드세요.

例: I usually spend under one hundred dollars on a pair of shoes. I don’t like spending too much because I think reasonably priced shoes can be just as good. I’m willing to pay more only if the shoes are very durable and comfortable.

提案: 상황에 따라 선호도가 달라진다는 핵심 내용은 적절하지만, 문장 구조가 불완전하고 의미가 명확하지 않습니다. “If I need shoes for everyday wear, I prefer comfortable ones, whereas I choose fashionable shoes when I go out”처럼 두 상황을 분명하게 비교하세요. “new one”은 복수형인 “new shoes” 또는 대명사 “ones”로 바꾸고, “when I need to hang out” 대신 “when I go out with friends”를 사용하면 자연스럽습니다. 선호 이유와 구체적인 상황을 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요.

例: It depends on the occasion. For everyday use, I prefer comfortable shoes because I may wear them for several hours. However, when I go out with friends, I usually choose fashionable shoes to complete my outfit.

× I buy new shoes about twice a year because it's really complicated when I want to buy some new shoes I need to measure the size.

✓ I buy new shoes about twice a year because it is complicated. When I want to buy new shoes, I need to measure my shoe size.

Two independent ideas are joined without appropriate punctuation or a conjunction. Separate them into two sentences, and use my shoe size to make the meaning clearer.

× So I found it from online shopping malls and I checked the reviews and they said it's really

✓ I found them on an online shopping mall and checked the reviews, which said they were really...

Use on rather than from when referring to a website or online marketplace. Also, boots are plural, so use them instead of it.

× So I found it from online shopping malls and I checked the reviews and they said it's really

✓ I found them on an online shopping mall and checked the reviews, which said they were really...

The pronoun it cannot refer to plural boots. Use them for the boots. The relative pronoun which clearly refers to the reviews.

× So I found it from online shopping malls and I checked the reviews and they said it's really

✓ I found them on an online shopping mall and checked the reviews, which said they were really...

Because the action happened in the past, said should be followed by were rather than are. The past tense keeps the time reference consistent.

× I spend about under one hundred dollars because I don't want to spend many much money on new shoes because I don't feel it's worthy

✓ I spend under one hundred dollars because I don't want to spend much money on new shoes because I don't feel they are worth it.

Money is an uncountable noun, so use much, not many. Do not use many and much together. For a more natural expression, say that shoes are worth it rather than that they are worthy.

× I spend about under one hundred dollars because I don't want to spend many much money on new shoes because I don't feel it's worthy

✓ I spend under one hundred dollars because I don't want to spend much money on new shoes because I don't feel they are worth it.

Worthy usually describes a person, cause, or object deserving respect or attention. When discussing whether something is a good use of money, use the expression worth it.

× I think it depends when I want to buy new one that I can wear longer I prefer comfortable shoes, but if I want to wear new when I need to hang out

✓ I think it depends. If I want to buy a new pair that I can wear for a long time, I prefer comfortable shoes, but if I want to wear new shoes when I go out, I prefer fashionable shoes.

The original sentence contains several clauses without clear connectors or punctuation, and it ends without a complete main clause. Separate the first idea and use if-clauses with clear main clauses.

× I think it depends when I want to buy new one that I can wear longer I prefer comfortable shoes, but if I want to wear new when I need to hang out

✓ I think it depends. If I want to buy a new pair that I can wear for a long time, I prefer comfortable shoes, but if I want to wear new shoes when I go out, I prefer fashionable shoes.

One is a singular pronoun, but it needs a clear singular noun to replace. Because shoes are normally plural, a new pair or new shoes is clearer and grammatically appropriate.