Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 질문에 먼저 현재의 선호도를 직접 답해야 합니다. ‘I enjoyed’와 ‘Now I turned forties’는 시제와 표현이 부자연스러우므로 ‘I used to enjoy’와 ‘Now that I’m in my forties’로 수정하세요. 또한 ‘when I need it just three months’처럼 반복되는 표현을 삭제하고, 빈도는 ‘about once every three months’처럼 명확하게 말하세요. 과거와 현재를 비교할 때는 연결어 ‘but’을 사용하고, 최대 2~3문장으로 간결하게 답하는 것이 좋습니다.

例: I used to enjoy buying shoes more when I was in my twenties, but now I only buy them when I need a new pair. I usually shop for shoes about once every three months, depending on the season.

提案: ‘Yes’라고 직접 답한 점과 온라인 쇼핑에 대한 이유를 제시한 점은 좋습니다. 그러나 ‘I bought’와 ‘I purchased’를 반복하지 말고 하나만 사용하세요. ‘sneakers is’는 복수 주어에 맞춰 ‘sneakers are’로 고치며, ‘by online shopping’ 대신 ‘online’ 또는 ‘through an online store’를 사용해야 합니다. 구매 이유와 결과를 연결어 ‘because’ 또는 ‘so’로 한 번만 연결하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: Yes, I have. I’m a big fan of online shopping, so I recently bought a pair of sneakers from an online store. They were comfortable, reasonably priced, and delivered within a few days.

提案: 일반적인 지출 금액을 답하려는 시도는 적절하지만, ‘spend my money on shoes around’는 ‘spend around one hundred dollars on shoes’로 어순을 바꾸세요. ‘over three hundred dollars is it too expensive?’는 질문 형태가 아니라 의견을 말하는 문장이므로 ‘I think anything over $300 is too expensive’로 수정해야 합니다. 100달러 미만의 신발이 항상 불편하다고 단정하기보다는 ‘I find that shoes under $100 are often less comfortable’처럼 개인적인 경험으로 표현하세요. 가격대와 그 이유를 자연스럽게 연결하면 답변의 구체성이 높아집니다.

例: I usually spend around 100 dollars on a pair of shoes. I think anything over 300 dollars is too expensive for everyday footwear, while shoes under 100 dollars are often less comfortable. Therefore, I usually look for a balance between price and quality.

提案: 선호도를 분명하게 밝힌 점은 좋지만, ‘comfortable shoes shoes’와 ‘a comfortable shoes’처럼 중복 및 관사 오류가 있습니다. ‘I need fashionable shoes sometimes’는 ‘I sometimes wear fashionable shoes’가 더 자연스럽고, ‘I needed to purchase’는 현재의 일반적인 선호이므로 ‘I prefer to buy’로 표현하세요. ‘but’과 ‘because’를 사용해 패션보다 편안함을 선호하는 이유를 논리적으로 설명하고, ‘a pair of comfortable sneakers’처럼 정확한 명사구를 사용하세요.

例: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones. I sometimes wear fashionable shoes for special occasions, but I choose comfortable sneakers for everyday use because I spend a lot of time walking. For me, comfort is more important than appearance.

× Now I turned forties.

✓ Now I am in my forties.

The sentence describes your current age, so use the present-tense verb am. The expression in my forties is the natural way to describe this age range.

× I just buy shoes when I need it.

✓ I just buy shoes when I need them.

Shoes is plural, so use the plural object pronoun them, not the singular pronoun it.

× just three months or pair of shoes three months like seasonally

✓ I buy a pair of shoes every three months, usually seasonally.

The original phrase is not a complete sentence and does not have a clear subject and verb. Use I buy to form a complete sentence and every three months to express frequency clearly.

× sneakers is always comfortable for me

✓ Sneakers are always comfortable for me.

Sneakers is a plural noun, so it must be followed by the plural verb are, not is.

× I bought I purchased the sneakers by online shopping.

✓ I bought the sneakers online.

The original sentence repeats two verbs, bought and purchased, unnecessarily. Use one main verb, and place online at the end to make the sentence concise and grammatically complete.

× by online shopping

✓ online

When describing the method of purchasing something on the internet, use online without the preposition by. The natural expression is I bought the sneakers online.

× I think over three hundred dollars is it too expensive?

✓ I think over three hundred dollars is too expensive.

The sentence incorrectly includes both is and it. In this structure, is too expensive already contains the complete verb phrase, so it should be removed.

× Definitely I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable shoes.

✓ I definitely prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable shoes.

The adverb definitely normally comes after the subject and before the main verb in this sentence.

× so I needed to purchase a comfortable shoes like sneakers

✓ so I need to purchase comfortable shoes like sneakers

The answer describes your current, regular need, so use the present-tense verb need instead of the past-tense verb needed.

× a comfortable shoes

✓ comfortable shoes

The plural noun shoes cannot follow the singular article a. Remove a when referring to shoes in general.

× comfortable shoes shoes I use every single day so I needed to purchase a comfortable shoes like sneakers.

✓ I use comfortable shoes every single day, so I need to purchase comfortable shoes like sneakers.

The original sentence repeats shoes and joins two independent ideas without clear punctuation. Remove the repeated word and use a comma before so to connect the ideas clearly.