Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add one supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid run-on phrases and fix grammar (e.g. articles, verb forms). Keep to 2–3 sentences and mention frequency clearly.

例: Not really. I only buy shoes about three or four times a year because I focus on comfort rather than fashion. For example, I replace them only when they wear out.

提案: Clarify timing and reason with correct grammar and linking words. Use one clear topic sentence (yes/no and frequency), then a second sentence explaining why using linking expressions like "especially" or "because". Avoid repetition and incorrect word order.

例: Yes, I often buy shoes online, especially during sale seasons. I do this because prices are much lower and it’s convenient to compare styles and reviews.

提案: Give a clear numeric answer and correct vocabulary. Use one sentence for the typical amount and another to explain variation. Avoid unclear phrases like "Chinese rent" and improve grammar (e.g. "buy" not "pur").

例: I usually spend about 200 to 300 yuan on a pair of shoes. However, it depends on the brand, and I would pay more for a well-known brand if I need durability.

提案: Answer directly and coherently. Start with a clear preference sentence, then give a specific reason and an example. Remove nonsensical phrases and use linking words like "because" or "so". Keep it to 2 sentences.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I wear them every day and need support for walking. For example, I choose sneakers with good cushioning rather than high heels.

× Actually not maybe three or four times a year because I don't pay much attention to my appearance buying shoes is just for comfortable and practical, so I don't often buy shoes.

✓ Actually, no. Maybe three or four times a year, because I don't pay much attention to my appearance. Buying shoes is just for comfort and practicality, so I don't often buy them.

This sentence contains multiple sentence structure problems (ID 26). It runs several ideas together without proper punctuation and has awkward word choices and pronoun reference. Split into shorter sentences, add commas and periods, change 'not' to 'no' for short negative response, use 'comfort and practicality' (nouns) instead of 'for comfortable and practical', and replace 'shoes' with the pronoun 'them' to avoid repetition. Suggestions: use clear sentence boundaries, correct noun/adjective forms, and consistent pronouns. Next suggestion.

× Yes, I usually buy shoes online, especially when the sale season and the shoes is much cheaper than usual usual.

✓ Yes, I usually buy shoes online, especially during sale seasons when the shoes are much cheaper than usual.

This is a third person singular/plural agreement issue (ID 2). 'The shoes is' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural and requires the plural verb 'are'. Also 'when the sale season' is awkward—use 'during sale seasons' or 'during the sale season'. Remove duplicated word 'usual'. Suggestions: match plural nouns with plural verbs and use appropriate prepositional phrases for time expressions. Next suggestion.

× So the practice the price is really attractive.

✓ So in practice, the price is really attractive.

This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and incorrect word choice. 'The practice the price' is ungrammatical and likely intended as 'in practice, the price'. Add the preposition 'in' and correct word order. Suggestions: use common idiomatic phrases like 'in practice' and ensure clear subject-verb structure. Next suggestion.

× I usually pay one thousand Chinese rent to pur shoes.

✓ I usually pay one thousand Chinese yuan to purchase shoes.

This contains article/word choice errors (ID 22). 'Rent' is incorrect for currency—use 'yuan' (or 'RMB') and 'pur' is a typo for 'purchase'. Also 'one thousand Chinese yuan' is clearer. Suggestions: use correct currency term and correct spelling for verbs; consider adding 'to buy' as a simpler alternative. Next suggestion.

× It depends on the brand.

✓ It depends on the brand.

This sentence is grammatically correct and needs no change. It is a complete clause with proper subject-verb agreement. No correction necessary. Next suggestion.

× I think I will pay much more money to buy a famous brand.

✓ I think I would pay much more to buy a famous brand.

This involves future/modal nuance (ID 7). Using 'will' after 'I think' is grammatically possible but sounds unnatural when expressing a general opinion about hypothetical spending; 'would' is better for hypothetical or conditional statements. Also 'much more money' can be shortened to 'much more'. Suggestion: use 'would' for hypothetical situations and prefer concise phrasing. Next suggestion.

× Of course I will choose the comfortable one because I think it's practical item in daily life so being comfortable as the most important traffic turtles

✓ Of course I would choose the comfortable ones because I think they are practical items in daily life, so comfort is the most important factor.

This sentence has multiple structure and word choice errors (ID 26). 'The comfortable one' should agree with 'shoes' (plural), so 'comfortable ones'; 'it's practical item' needs plural agreement and an article: 'they are practical items' or 'it is a practical item' depending on singular/plural; the phrase 'being comfortable as the most important traffic turtles' is nonsensical—likely intended 'comfort is the most important factor'. Revised sentence fixes number agreement and replaces incorrect idiom with 'most important factor'. Suggestions: ensure noun-pronoun number agreement, use clear vocabulary for abstract concepts ('comfort', 'factor'), and avoid literal translations of idioms.