Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more coherent: start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No and frequency), avoid fragmented sentences, correct pronunciation/word choice (e.g., 'wore out', 'farm mode vacations' unclear), and keep responses under five sentences. Add one specific example about when you buy shoes and why. Use linking words (For example, Recently, because) to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, but I don't do it very often — maybe twice a year. Recently I have bought more because I needed footwear for farm-style vacations. For example, I bought a pair of waterproof boots last month because my previous ones had worn out and I wanted something durable.

提案: Good direct answer and reason given. Improve by adding a linking phrase and a brief specific example (what type of shoes, what problem occurred), and consider offering a short mention of when/where you bought them to add specificity. Keep it concise and correct minor grammar: 'did not have a chance to try them on' instead of 'try it out'.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online, but I don't particularly like the experience because I couldn't try them on. For example, I ordered a pair of running shoes last year and they were too narrow, so I had to return them.

提案: Start with a clear, concise topic sentence stating your typical spending range. Avoid hesitations and unclear terms ('Blaze shoes' likely a mis-saying). Specify amounts for different types and give one concrete example. Use linking words (For casual shoes, For formal occasions) to structure the answer.

例: It depends on the type of shoe: for casual sneakers I usually spend no more than 1,000 Hong Kong dollars. For formal shoes such as loafers or flats I might spend 1,500–2,000 HKD because they need to look better for occasions. For example, last year I paid 1,800 HKD for a pair of leather flats for a wedding.

提案: Begin with a direct preference sentence and give clear reasons with linking words (because, although). Avoid trailing off and provide a specific example comparing a fashionable pair and a comfortable pair. Keep within five sentences and use precise vocabulary ('versatile', 'occasions').

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I can wear them in many situations without pain. Although I like fashionable shoes for special events, comfortable sneakers are more versatile for daily use. For instance, I wear cushioned trainers for commuting and walking, while I save stylish heels for formal parties.

× I love buying shoes, but I don't think I'm buying really often.

✓ I love buying shoes, but I don't think I buy them very often.

The original uses present continuous 'I'm buying' incorrectly for a habitual action; use simple present 'I buy' for habits. Also use 'them' as pronoun for 'shoes' and 'very often' instead of 'really often' for natural phrasing.

× At least not until one of them word out Recently I kind of buy more though because I have to be in some farm mode vacations so instead of buying sneakers I have to have

✓ At least not until one of them wore out. Recently I have been buying more because I will be on farm-style vacations, so instead of buying sneakers I have to get other shoes.

Multiple issues: 'word' is a typo and should be past tense 'wore' (past tense of wear). The phrase 'kind of buy more' describing a recent change should use present perfect continuous 'have been buying' or present perfect 'have been buying' to connect past to present. 'Have to be in some farm mode vacations' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'will be on farm-style vacations'. 'Have to have' is vague; use 'have to get' or 'buy other shoes'. Corrections address past tense and present tense usage and sentence structure.

× Yes, I have bought shoes online before but I don't particularly like the experience because I did not have a chance to try it out and it's not as comfortable as I expected.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online before, but I don't particularly like the experience because I did not have a chance to try them on and they were not as comfortable as I expected.

Use 'try them on' (phrasal verb for fitting clothes/shoes) rather than 'try it out'. Also ensure pronoun agreement: 'them' refers to shoes. Change 'it's not as comfortable' to 'they were not as comfortable' to match plural 'shoes' and past expectation context.

× The range actually kind of varies, but for sneakers it usually wouldn't be over a thousand Hong Kong dollars and for other shoes like Blaze shoes and flats for some more formal occasions they're usually more expensive but like try

✓ The range actually varies, but for sneakers it usually isn't over a thousand Hong Kong dollars, and other shoes like dress shoes and flats for more formal occasions are usually more expensive.

Use 'varies' not 'kind of varies' for clarity. 'Wouldn't be' is incorrect modal here; use 'isn't' for general statement. 'Blaze shoes' seems wrong—likely 'dress shoes'. Ensure plural agreement: 'they're usually more expensive' changed to 'are usually more expensive' within sentence structure. Remove trailing 'but like try' which is incomplete.

× Oh, that is a tough question. I actually love both of them, but I guess I would have to say comfortable shoes because I can wear them in various locations for a fashionable shoes I don't actually have a lot of like places to

✓ Oh, that is a tough question. I actually love both, but I guess I would have to say comfortable shoes because I can wear them in various places; I don't really have many occasions to wear fashionable shoes.

Original contains run-on and awkward phrasing. Remove 'of them' after 'love both' (redundant). Use 'in various places' for natural collocation. Fix the second clause to 'I don't really have many occasions to wear fashionable shoes' to convey intended meaning and correct quantifier/phrase order.