Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer the question with one clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., singular/plural agreement, prepositions). Aim for 2–4 sentences, e.g., say how often and why with a clear reason and an example.

例: I like buying shoes every season because different shoes suit different outfits. For example, I buy sneakers for casual wear and dress shoes for formal events, so I usually change shoes two to three times each season to match my outfits.

提案: Structure your response with a clear topic sentence (yes/no + brief detail), then give one specific example and a short conclusion. Use correct tense and smoother linking words (e.g., however, so, therefore). Avoid pauses and sentence fragments.

例: Yes, I once bought a pair of shoes online, but they were too small and uncomfortable. Therefore I returned them and got a refund, and since then I prefer to try shoes on in a store before buying.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of your typical spending, then explain limits and reasons with specific details. Use correct number expressions and smoother linking (e.g., 'if the price is higher than...'). Keep sentences concise and grammar correct (singular/plural, word order).

例: I usually spend up to 1,500 (currency) on a pair of shoes because I want durable and useful footwear. If a pair costs more than that, I think carefully about quality and necessity before buying it.

提案: Give a direct preference statement first, then briefly explain with a specific reason and an example. Use correct grammar (verb forms, articles, plural forms) and linking words (e.g., however, so, therefore). Keep it within 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes now because I used to choose fashionable ones and my feet became very painful. Therefore I choose shoes that support walking daily, as comfort and foot health matter more than style.

× I prefer to buy new shoes in every seasons and because every shoes suit with different situation and different outfit.

✓ I prefer to buy new shoes every season because different shoes suit different situations and outfits.

Use of prepositions was incorrect: 'in every seasons' should be 'every season' (no preposition before 'every' and 'season' should be singular). 'suit with' is incorrect; the verb 'suit' does not need 'with' and should agree with the plural noun: 'different shoes suit different situations and outfits.' Also remove redundant 'because' placement. Improve by using singular after 'every' and omitting unnecessary prepositions. Suggestion: say 'every season' and use 'suit' without 'with' and match plurals.

× So I like buying shoes that suit my outfit every outfit and I often change my shoes in a season.

✓ So I like buying shoes that suit each outfit and I often change my shoes during a season.

Plural and word choice errors: 'every outfit' repeated is redundant and should be 'each outfit.' 'in a season' is awkward; use 'during a season.' Maintain plural 'shoes' consistent with 'change my shoes.' Suggestion: use 'each' for individual items and 'during' for time periods.

× Because those shoes are not very available.

✓ Because those shoes are not readily available.

'Not very available' is unidiomatic; use the adverb phrase 'readily available' or 'not readily available.' This corrects the adjective/adverb usage and makes the meaning clear. Suggestion: use common collocations like 'readily available.'

× Yes, once I bought a comfort shoes from a online website.

✓ Yes, once I bought a pair of comfortable shoes from an online website.

Article and noun form errors: 'a comfort shoes' mixes singular article with plural noun and wrong form 'comfort' vs. adjective 'comfortable.' Use 'a pair of' for shoes and 'an' before vowel sound: 'an online website' or simply 'an online site.' Suggestion: say 'a pair of comfortable shoes from an online website.'

× However it it was too small for me to wear it and also very uncomfortable when walking.

✓ However, it was too small for me to wear and also very uncomfortable to walk in.

Redundancy and pronoun use: 'it it' is duplicated. 'for me to wear it' repeats the pronoun; better 'for me to wear.' 'very uncomfortable when walking' is awkward; use the infinitive 'to walk in.' Suggestion: remove duplicate words and use 'to walk in' for footwear discomfort.

× So I decide to return the product back to the company and ask for a refund.

✓ So I decided to return the product to the company and ask for a refund.

Tense error: 'decide' should be past tense 'decided' to match 'bought' earlier. Also 'return the product back' is redundant; use 'return the product.' Suggestion: match past tense throughout this anecdote and avoid redundant 'back.'

× And this experience taught me that I would. Not buy any shoes online after that.

✓ And this experience taught me that I would not buy any shoes online after that.

Punctuation and sentence break error: the period splits the sentence incorrectly; 'would not' should be together. Keep sentence continuity and avoid unnecessary capitalization after the period. Suggestion: write 'would not' as one phrase in the same sentence.

× I'm a picky buyer so I often buy products that are useful, however cheap at the same time and the highest amount of money that I can afford for the shoes is 1500 anti dollars.

✓ I'm a picky buyer, so I often buy products that are useful yet cheap at the same time, and the maximum amount of money I can afford for shoes is 1,500 anti-dollars.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice: 'the highest amount of money that I can afford for the shoes is' is wordy; 'the maximum amount I can afford for shoes is' is clearer. Use commas to separate clauses. Also use 'anti-dollars' hyphenated and numeric formatting for clarity. Suggestion: simplify clause order and use 'maximum' instead of 'highest amount.'

× And if the shoes is higher than this. Price I would consider very careful whether to buy it because it is not going to be very ideal price for me.

✓ And if the price of the shoes is higher than this, I would consider very carefully whether to buy them because it would not be an ideal price for me.

Agreement and structure errors: 'shoes is' should be 'price of the shoes is' or 'the shoes are.' 'Price' was split by a period incorrectly. 'Consider very careful' should be 'consider very carefully.' Pronoun should be plural 'them' for 'shoes.' Use 'an ideal price' with article. Suggestion: keep clauses connected, match plural pronouns, and use adverb 'carefully.'

× In the past, I would choose shoes that are more fashionable and fits the fashion market.

✓ In the past, I would choose shoes that were more fashionable and fit the fashion market.

Tense and subject-verb agreement: 'are' should be past 'were' to match 'would choose.' 'fits' should be 'fit' to agree with plural 'shoes.' Suggestion: keep tense consistent and match verb to plural subject.

× However, I wear those shoes in a very uncomfortable way and find out find out that my feet was very painful after wearing those shoes.

✓ However, I wore those shoes in a very uncomfortable way and found that my feet were very painful after wearing them.

Tense and repetition errors: 'I wear' should be past 'I wore' to match previous past context. 'find out find out' is duplicated. 'my feet was' should be 'my feet were' (plural). Use 'them' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: remove duplicates, use past tense and plural verb agreement.

× So now I would rather choose a comfortable shoes to walk daily because that the health and also.

✓ So now I would rather choose comfortable shoes for daily walking because my health and my feet are more important than looking good.

Article and fragment errors: 'a comfortable shoes' mixes singular article with plural noun; remove 'a.' 'to walk daily' is better as 'for daily walking.' The clause 'because that the health and also.' is incomplete and unclear; complete the thought: 'because my health and my feet are more important than looking good.' Suggestion: use correct article/noun agreement and avoid sentence fragments.

× My feet are more important than looking good on the outside.

✓ My feet are more important than appearance.

Style and pronoun reference: original is understandable but wordy; compare noun phrases rather than comparing 'feet' to 'looking good.' Using 'appearance' makes the contrast clearer and more grammatical. Suggestion: use concise noun phrases for comparisons.