Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, remove hesitations and repetitions, correct grammar (e.g., "I buy shoes twice a year"), and give one specific reason with a linking phrase. Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid filler words like "uh."

例: Yes, I like buying shoes. I usually buy shoes twice a year because good-quality pairs are expensive, so I wait for sales or special occasions to get them at a better price.

提案: Use correct tense and a clearer structure: begin with a direct yes/no or short statement, then give a reason using linking words (e.g., "because" or "so"). Avoid excessive fillers and correct common errors ("cheaper" not "very cheaper"). Limit to 2–3 sentences and include a specific detail such as price or convenience.

例: Yes, I bought shoes online last month from the Misho app because prices there are lower than in physical stores. I also find online shopping convenient since I can compare styles and read reviews before buying.

提案: Make amounts and reasons clear and use precise vocabulary: start with the amount, then explain why using linking words. Replace unclear phrases ("affordable duration options") with "affordable and durable". Give one specific example of a typical purchase. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I usually spend under 1,000 because I prefer affordable and durable shoes. For example, I often buy sturdy black leather shoes that match most of my clothes and last a long time.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then add a contrasting point using a linking word like "however". Reduce fillers and make the situation specific (e.g., "work commute" or "formal events"). Keep within 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I commute to work every day and need footwear that supports me all day. However, I choose fashionable shoes for special events or nights out when style matters more.

× Yes, I really like buying buying shoes uh, mostly I buy shoes uh, twice, uh twice a year, because shoes are very expensive of good quality and so I I wait for sale or any special occasion to buying it I.

✓ Yes, I really like buying shoes. Mostly I buy shoes twice a year because good-quality shoes are very expensive, so I wait for sales or special occasions to buy them.

Repeated word and unnecessary fillers removed. 'Buying' after 'like' is correct, but the second 'buying' before 'it' is incorrect: after 'occasion' use the infinitive 'to buy' not 'to buying'. Also 'shoes' is plural so use 'them'. 'Of good quality' should be placed as 'good-quality' before 'shoes'. Use plural 'sales' and simplify sentence structure to avoid repetition.

× Last month I have, uh, bought, uh, shoes online from Misho app uh, uh, because, uh, in this app, uh, things are very cheaper than the market, so I buy a that's why I buy shoes online and uh, because, uh, I need the shoes.

✓ Last month I bought shoes online from the Misho app because items on the app are cheaper than in the market, so that is why I buy shoes online when I need them.

The time expression 'Last month' requires simple past ('bought'), not present perfect ('have bought'). 'Very cheaper' is incorrect; use 'cheaper' or 'much cheaper'. Use 'the Misho app' with article. 'Things are cheaper than the market' corrected to 'items on the app are cheaper than in the market'. 'I buy a that's why' was ungrammatical; rephrase to 'so that is why I buy shoes online when I need them.' Use plural pronoun 'them' for 'shoes'.

× I usually spend under 1000 on shoes because I prefer affordable duration options, durable options.

✓ I usually spend under 1000 on shoes because I prefer affordable and durable options.

The phrase 'affordable duration options' is incorrect: 'duration' is wrong here. Use 'durable' to describe long-lasting products and link adjectives with 'and'. Keep concise: 'affordable and durable options.' Also consider adding a currency symbol or word (e.g., '1000 rupees') for clarity.

× I mostly buy black shoes because since it was matched to my dress and it's easy to materialize.

✓ I mostly buy black shoes because they match my clothes and are easy to coordinate.

The conjunction 'because since' is redundant — choose one. 'It was matched to my dress' is incorrect: use plural 'they match my clothes' or 'they match my dress'. 'It's easy to materialize' is wrong word choice; use 'easy to coordinate' or 'easy to match'. Also maintain subject agreement: 'black shoes' -> 'they'.

× Mostly I prefer comfortable shoes, uh, because, uh, everyday, uh, I have to go for work and I have to wear comfortable shoes.

✓ Mostly I prefer comfortable shoes because every day I have to go to work and wear comfortable shoes.

Use 'every day' as two words for the adverbial phrase. 'Go for work' is incorrect in this context; use 'go to work'. Remove redundant 'I have to' before 'wear comfortable shoes' to make the sentence smoother.

× Uh, but sometimes whenever I go for outside hangout for some occasion, I prefer fashionable shoes.

✓ But sometimes, when I go out for a hangout or for an occasion, I prefer fashionable shoes.

'Go for outside hangout' is incorrect. Use 'go out for a hangout' or simply 'go out' and 'for an occasion'. Reorder for natural English: 'when I go out for a hangout or for an occasion.' Removed filler 'uh' and adjusted punctuation for clarity.