Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers both parts (whether you like buying shoes and how often). Use one or two supporting details about where and why you buy shoes, and avoid redundant phrases. Keep it under five sentences and use simple linking words like "because" or "and."

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and I go shopping for them about once a month because I like to update my wardrobe. I usually visit local markets and a favorite shop near my home because they have a good selection and reasonable prices.

提案: Answer directly (yes or no) and give a clear reason with specific details. Mention whether you might try online shopping in future or a condition that would make you comfortable buying online. Use linking words like "because" and "so" to connect ideas and keep sentences correct and concise.

例: No, I haven't bought shoes online because I prefer to try them on to check the size and quality. However, I might order online in the future if there is a free return policy or detailed size guides.

提案: Provide a clear, specific amount or a typical price range and explain why (brand, quality, or frequency). Avoid unclear numbers and grammatical errors. Use one or two short sentences and connect ideas with "usually" or "typically."

例: I usually spend around $40 to $80 on a pair of shoes, depending on the brand and quality. For everyday shoes I spend less, but for special occasions I prefer to buy more expensive, durable pairs.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of preference and then explain reasons for both options. Use linking words like "because", "but", and "however" to structure your answer. Provide specific examples of situations when you choose fashion over comfort and vice versa, keeping the total to no more than five sentences.

例: I usually prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot for work and university, so I need support and durability. However, I sometimes choose fashionable shoes for parties or events when my outfit needs a stylish touch.

× Of course yes I like to buy shoes especially the markets for such as nice.

✓ Of course I like to buy shoes, especially at markets because they have nice styles.

The original sentence has redundant 'yes' and incorrect conjunctions and prepositions ('the markets for such as nice'). Remove 'yes', add a comma after introductory phrase, use preposition 'at' for markets, and rephrase 'because they have nice styles' to convey reason clearly. Grammar problem type ID:16

× Also I have some shop to buy the shoes.

✓ I also have some shops where I buy shoes.

Use plural 'shops' if referring to multiple stores; use 'where' to introduce the relative clause indicating purpose/location. Original used incorrect infinitive structure 'to buy the shoes'. Grammar problem type ID:11

× Actually no verbal choose to go markets because to check the size and the quality.

✓ Actually no; I usually choose to go to markets because I can check the size and the quality.

Original 'no verbal' is incorrect. Add modal/auxiliary 'can' to express ability to check size and quality. Include 'to' before 'markets' and change word order for clarity. Use 'usually' for frequency. Grammar problem type ID:4

× The online I don't have I don't get the stuff

✓ I don't buy shoes online because I can't find the items I want.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. Use a clear subject 'I', negative 'don't buy', and provide reason 'can't find the items I want'. Replace 'the online' and 'I don't get the stuff' with natural phrasing. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Actually it for nine real money to the one shoes actually for three four choes is twenty three automatic.

✓ Actually, a pair of shoes costs about nine rials, and three or four pairs cost about twenty-three rials in total.

Original is confused with numbers and nouns. Clarify currency unit 'rials', use 'a pair of shoes' for single item, and state totals clearly. Use commas and conjunctions to join clauses. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Actually, sometime I prefer fashion pulled shoes because the outfit but sometimes I prefer comfortable shoes because for you for working or go to university or school.

✓ Actually, sometimes I prefer fashionable shoes because they match my outfit, but other times I prefer comfortable shoes for work or for going to university or school.

Use 'sometimes' (adverb), 'fashionable' (adjective) not 'fashion pulled'. Use 'they' to refer to shoes, and correct prepositions: 'for work' and 'for going to...'. Also include 'other times' to contrast preferences. Grammar problem type ID:11