Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap kısa ve tekrarlardan arındırılmalıdır. Konuya doğrudan girin, gereksiz tekrarları ve duraklamaları azaltın, cümleleri daha akıcı ve mantıksal bağlaçlarla (for example, because, so) bağlayın. Ayrıca sayı ve zaman ifadelerini net verin (örneğin “twice a year”). Maksimum 4-5 kısa cümle kullanın ve her biri anlamlı destek olmalıdır.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually prefer sports shoes because they are very comfortable and help me feel relaxed. I buy shoes about twice a year, typically one pair for summer and another for winter.

提案: Cevap net değil ve çok fazla duraklama, tekrar içeriyor. Açık bir şekilde geçmiş deneyiminizi belirtin ve nedenini kısa sebeplerle destekleyin (örneğin “size uncertainty” veya “fit issues”). Bağlaçlar kullanarak mantıklı bir sebep sıralayın (because, so, therefore). 2-3 kısa cümle yeterli.

例: No, I have never bought shoes online. I prefer trying shoes on in a store because I worry about the fit and the quality. Therefore, I usually buy shoes in person to make sure they are comfortable.

提案: Cevap fikir veriyor ancak düzensiz ve tekrarlı. Fiyat aralığını net belirtin ve markalarla ilgili görüşünüzü kısaça açıklayın. Bağlaçlarla (for example, while, but, because) karşılaştırma yapın ve rakamları düzgün ifade edin (örneğin “around 500 to 1300 liras”). En fazla 3-4 cümle kullanın.

例: It depends on the brand and quality, but I usually spend around 500 to 1300 liras on a pair of shoes. I prefer brands like Nike and Adidas; Adidas tends to be more expensive, while Nike is comfortable and more affordable for me.

提案: Cevabınız uygun fakat tekrarlamalar ve duraklamalar var. Önce tercih belirtin, sonra kısa gerekçe verin ve son olarak istisnayı vurgulayın. Bağlaçlar (because, however, but) kullanın ve cümleleri daha net kurun. Toplam 3-4 cümle yeterli.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I have a busy life and walk a lot for school and work. However, for special events or celebrations I choose fashionable shoes to match my outfit.

× I well, I like buying shoes and because buying shoes is comfortable to me, I prefer to sports shoes because sports shoes are very comfortable.

✓ Well, I like buying shoes because they are comfortable, so I prefer sports shoes since they are very comfortable.

The original sentence has multiple fragments and redundant conjunctions causing sentence structure errors. Combine ideas with appropriate connectors and use the plural pronoun 'they' for shoes. Remove repeated 'because' and redundant phrases to make a clear, grammatical sentence. Suggestions: Combine clauses logically, use 'they' for plural nouns, and avoid repeating the same conjunction.

× And when I, when I put on when I put on sports shoes, I, I was very, I can feel very relaxed after that.

✓ When I put on sports shoes, I can feel very relaxed afterwards.

The original mixes past and present ('was' and 'can feel') and repeats phrases. Use present tense 'can feel' for general statements and 'afterwards' as a single adverb. Remove repeated fragments. Suggestions: Keep tense consistent for habitual statements and avoid repetition.

× After that, I prefer buying. Who's twice a year because I have, I have, I have two shoes, one of them for summer or one of them in winter.

✓ I buy shoes about twice a year because I have two pairs: one for summer and one for winter.

Mistakes include incorrect use of 'who's' and 'two shoes' (should be 'two pairs'). The sentence structure was broken. Use 'pairs' for footwear and a clear time expression 'about twice a year.' Suggestions: Use 'pairs' when referring to sets of shoes and fix broken sentence fragments.

× Uh, I don't, I didn't have, uh, ever bought shoes online because, uh, I didn't use, I didn't use buying uh, shoes, uh, for shoes after that, uh, to be honest, uh, buying, buying a shoes, shoes online, uh, it is very dangerous to me because, because, uh, the, because. Because I buy I buy that buying online shoes it it isn't a.

✓ No, I have never bought shoes online because I don't trust online purchases; buying shoes online feels risky to me.

Original mixes present and past negatives incorrectly ('don't, didn't have, ever bought') and repeats words. Use present perfect 'have never bought' for life experience and a clear reason using 'because' once. 'A shoes' is ungrammatical; use 'shoes' or 'a pair of shoes.' Suggestions: Use present perfect for experiences, avoid stacking negatives, and use clear nouns like 'pair of shoes'.

× Well, to be honest, it depends on brands on a price.

✓ Well, to be honest, it depends on the brand and the price.

The phrase 'depends on brands on a price' uses wrong prepositions and number agreement. Use 'depends on' once and coordinate nouns with 'and.' Use singular 'brand' or 'the brand' for general reference. Suggestions: Use 'depends on' followed by parallel nouns.

× After that, I prefer. I prefer Adidas or Nike brands. After that, Adidas is expensive too, too expensive than other brands.

✓ I prefer Adidas or Nike. Adidas is much more expensive than other brands.

Original repeats phrases and uses incorrect comparative form 'too expensive than.' Use 'much more expensive than' for comparison. Also drop redundant 'brands' after brand names. Suggestions: Use correct comparative structures: 'more expensive than' and avoid redundant words.

× After that, Nike is comfortable and accessible to me, to me to me.

✓ Nike is comfortable and affordable for me.

The original repeats 'to me' and uses 'accessible' awkwardly. 'Affordable' or 'within my budget' is clearer. Remove repetition. Suggestions: Avoid repeating phrases and choose precise adjectives.

× Moreover, moreover. Were moreover maybe I I usually spent spend on a shoes 1300 liras or 500 liras.

✓ Also, I usually spend about 500 to 1300 liras on shoes.

The original mixes tenses ('spent spend') and repeats words. Use present simple 'spend' for habitual actions and present amounts in a clear range. Use 'on shoes' not 'on a shoes.' Suggestions: Use present simple for habits and correct noun forms.

× E especially I prefer comfortable shoes because, uh, I'm very, uh, I'm very bus. I am, uh, I have got a busy life, uh, busy life after that, uh, after that, umm, I'm, I'm going to, I'm going to school or work.

✓ I especially prefer comfortable shoes because I have a very busy life and I go to school and work.

Original has typos ('bus'), repetition, and awkward phrasing. Use 'a very busy life' and simple verbs 'go to' for routines. Remove filler words. Suggestions: Use concise sentences and correct adjective-noun combinations.

× Uh, it is important to me. I prefer comfortable shoes especially such as is such as sports shoes after that.

✓ Comfort is important to me. I prefer comfortable shoes, for example sports shoes.

Original uses awkward phrasing 'especially such as is such as.' Use 'for example' or 'such as' but not both, and ensure pronoun reference is clear. Suggestions: Use a single, correct expression to introduce examples.

× It depends on it depends on where I put on my shoes.

✓ It depends on where I wear my shoes.

Original repeats clause and uses 'put on' incorrectly for habitual location; 'wear' is better for describing where shoes are used. Remove duplicate phrase. Suggestions: Use 'wear' for general use and avoid repetition.

× If if I if I have a celebration, I prefer to fashionable shoes.

✓ If I have a celebration, I prefer fashionable shoes.

Original repeats 'if' and uses incorrect 'prefer to fashionable shoes.' Use 'prefer fashionable shoes' without 'to.' Suggestions: Avoid repeating 'if' and use 'prefer' followed directly by the noun or 'prefer to wear' + noun.