Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and complete sentences; avoid trailing or unfinished phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details and a short frequency phrase. Use linking words (e.g., 'but' or 'however') only when needed and finish thoughts fully.

例: I enjoy buying shoes and usually get a new pair every few months. Most of the time I choose comfortable shoes for everyday wear, but occasionally I buy a stylish pair for special occasions.

提案: Correct minor grammar issues and remove filler words like 'uh' and vague phrases like 'something sometimes hesitant.' Give a clear reason why you feel hesitant (e.g., sizing, quality) and use linking words such as 'however' to contrast advantages and concerns.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online several times because it's convenient and offers many styles and discounts. However, I am sometimes hesitant because sizes can be inconsistent and it's hard to judge the fit without trying them on.

提案: Avoid unclear or incorrect figures (the '5:00' is confusing). Give a clear range and explain briefly why you choose that range. Keep it within two to three sentences and include a linking word to connect the general statement and the specific amount.

例: It depends on the type, but I usually spend between ₹5,000 and ₹10,000 on a pair of good shoes. For everyday footwear I stick to a lower budget because I don't think it's worth splurging on shoes I wear daily.

提案: Finish sentences fully and avoid filler words. After stating your preference, give a specific example or reason to support it and use a linking word like 'because' to make the logic clear.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I often walk a lot during the day and need support for long periods. I do follow trends sometimes and buy stylish shoes for events, but I choose comfort for everyday use.

× Most of the time I look for comfortable shoes for everyday use, but I might buy something more stylish for the.

✓ Most of the time I look for comfortable shoes for everyday use, but I might buy something more stylish for special occasions.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'for the.' This is a sentence structure error (incomplete phrase). Complete the prepositional phrase to clarify purpose; here 'for special occasions' fits the context. Suggestion: always finish prepositional phrases and reread to ensure clauses are complete.

× I find it quite a convenient because I can browse through a wide range of styles without having to visit several shops.

✓ I find it quite convenient because I can browse through a wide range of styles without having to visit several shops.

The phrase 'a convenient' is incorrect because 'convenient' is an adjective that does not take the indefinite article here. This is an article/determiner error. Remove 'a' to form the correct adjective phrase 'quite convenient.' Suggestion: use articles only with nouns, not with adjectives that modify implied nouns unless you include the noun (e.g., 'a convenient option').

× Uh. However, I am something sometimes hesitant.

✓ However, I am sometimes hesitant.

'Something sometimes hesitant' is an incorrect word order and includes an unnecessary filler 'something.' This is a sentence structure error. Place adverb 'sometimes' before the adjective 'hesitant' and remove 'something.' Suggestion: keep adverbs adjacent to the verb or adjective they modify: 'sometimes hesitant.'

× However, I usually spend around 5:00 to ₹10,000 on a pair.

✓ However, I usually spend around ₹5,000 to ₹10,000 on a pair.

The original '5:00' appears to be a typographical error and an incorrect format for a number. This is an article/number formatting error. Use a clear numeric range with correct currency symbol and thousands separator. Suggestion: write numbers clearly and consistently (e.g., '₹5,000 to ₹10,000').

× Of course I like wearing stylish shoes and keep up with, uh, current trends, but comfort is much more important to me, especially if I'm going to wear them for several hours.

✓ Of course I like wearing stylish shoes and keeping up with current trends, but comfort is much more important to me, especially if I'm going to wear them for several hours.

The original mixes verb forms: 'like wearing' followed by 'keep up' (bare infinitive) which creates a sentence structure inconsistency. Use parallel gerunds: 'wearing' and 'keeping.' Remove filler 'uh.' Suggestion: maintain parallel structure when listing activities (use the same verb form for each item).

× There's no point in having a fashionable.

✓ There's no point in having a fashionable pair of shoes.

The phrase 'having a fashionable' is incomplete; 'fashionable' is an adjective needing a noun. This is a sentence structure error. Add the noun 'pair of shoes' to complete the idea. Suggestion: ensure adjectives modify explicit nouns or use a noun phrase.