Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm), give a brief reason and a specific frequency. Use linking words if adding detail.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy new pairs about twice a year because I prefer durable sneakers from brands like Nike or Adidas, which last me through the seasons.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity by using correct verb forms and clear linking words. Be specific about advantages and give a short example to support your point. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I have. Buying shoes online lets me compare many styles and read reviews, so I can spend more time choosing the best pair. For example, I once compared three models and read customer feedback before buying a comfortable running shoe.

提案: Provide a clear, single figure and avoid hesitation. Use correct grammar and give one specific example or range. Avoid repeating numbers and fill words.

例: On average I spend about $120 on a pair of sneakers. For instance, my last pair from Nike cost around $120, while cheaper models can be about $80–100.

提案: State your preference clearly, give a concise reason and one specific example. Remove filler words and ensure subject-verb agreement (a comfortable pair). Use linking words to make it coherent.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I dress casually most of the time. For example, I usually wear sneakers with sweatpants or jeans, so comfort and versatility are more important than high-fashion styles.

× I like buying shoes but I would say I umm twice a year.

✓ I like buying shoes, but I would say I buy them twice a year.

The sentence mixes 'would say' with omitted main verb and uses no object. Replace 'would say I umm twice a year' with 'I buy them twice a year' to provide a clear present habitual action. Use present simple 'buy' for habitual frequency, and include the object 'them' referring to shoes.

× I would buy shoes, new shoes like sneakers from Nike or Adidas.

✓ I usually buy new shoes, such as sneakers from Nike or Adidas.

'I would buy' is unnatural for a habitual preference; use 'I usually buy'. Also restructure to place 'new' before 'shoes' and use 'such as' to introduce examples for clarity.

× Yes I have, buying them an online helps me to take a long time to choose the best shoes and also it's comfortable for me to select what I want there.

✓ Yes, I have. Buying them online helps me take more time to choose the best shoes and it is also comfortable for me to select what I want.

The original mixes present perfect reply with a gerund clause that has errors: 'an online' is wrong article+preposition, 'helps me to take a long time' is unnatural. Use 'Buying them online helps me take more time' and 'online' without 'an'. Expand contractions and simplify for correct grammar and clarity.

× I would spend. $120.00 in average for shoes for example for the sneakers.

✓ I would spend about $120 on average for shoes, for example for sneakers.

Remove the erroneous period after 'spend', use 'about' and 'on average' for natural phrasing, and omit the definite article before 'sneakers' unless referring to specific ones.

× The average sneakers, uh, as much as like a 102.

✓ An average pair of sneakers costs about $102.

'The average sneakers' is incorrect noun phrase; use 'an average pair of sneakers'. 'As much as like a 102' mixes fillers and wrong number format—use 'about $102' for clarity and correct currency expression.

× I would prefer a comfortable shoes because it would match my outfits in general.

✓ I would prefer comfortable shoes because they would match my outfits in general.

Use plural 'shoes' without the singular article 'a'. Also change 'it would match' to 'they would match' to agree in number with 'shoes'.

× For example, I would wear casual sweatpants, casual jeans, and casual tops.

✓ For example, I wear casual sweatpants, casual jeans, and casual tops.

Use present simple 'I wear' for habitual actions instead of 'I would wear', which is conditional or hypothetical here. Maintain parallel adjective usage.

× So casual uh, sneakers would uh, would match my fashion.

✓ So casual sneakers would match my style.

Remove filler 'uh' and duplicate 'would'. Replace 'fashion' with 'style' for natural collocation. Keep 'would' if conditional, or use 'will'/'match' depending on intended meaning; 'would match my style' is acceptable if hypothetical.