Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and organized: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you like buying shoes, then give frequency and brief reason. Reduce hesitations and unclear phrases (e.g., “aggregate my shoes”). Use one or two linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I do like buying shoes. I usually buy a new pair once a year because I prefer to update my wardrobe for different occasions; however, I sometimes buy extra pairs if I need shoes for travel or work.

提案: Answer directly and add specific details: say when or how often you buy online, mention the platform and a short example of the process. Avoid repetition and unclear phrasing; use linking words like “for example” or “so”.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online several times, usually through Facebook Marketplace or shopping apps. For example, my wife and I browse listings together, discuss which pair looks best, and then we place the order if the price and size are right.

提案: Give a clear amount or range and explain briefly why, avoiding confusing or contradictory statements. Use correct grammar and avoid double negatives. If you refer to a currency, state it clearly (e.g., dollars, rupees).

例: I'm not a big spender; typically I spend around 200–300 dollars on a good pair of shoes. Occasionally I might spend more if the shoes are durable or fashionable for special events.

提案: Begin with a clear preference statement, then explain with specific conditions using linking words (e.g., “if”, “but”, “however”). Avoid unclear words (e.g., “blaze”, “Mary's”) and finish the sentence cleanly. Provide one brief example for each choice.

例: I prefer both, depending on the situation. For example, if I'm going on a long tour or walking a lot, I choose comfortable shoes; however, for parties or formal events I prefer fashionable shoes to match my outfit.

× I aggregate my shoes every year a new pair, but sometimes if you have to go to different places then.

✓ I buy a new pair of shoes every year, but sometimes I need different pairs for different places.

The original uses 'aggregate' incorrectly and mixes singular/plural forms. 'A new pair' must be linked with 'buy' and 'pairs' for plural when referring to different types. Use 'buy a new pair' and 'different pairs' for clarity and correct plurality.

× I I used to buy shoes online with my wife.

✓ I used to buy shoes online with my wife.

The sentence contains a duplicated 'I'. Removing the extra pronoun fixes the redundancy. 'Used to' correctly expresses past habitual action.

× We used to see Facebooks and which one do you like?

✓ We used to look at Facebook and ask each other 'Which one do you like?'.

'Facebooks' is incorrect pluralization and 'see' is awkward here; 'look at Facebook' or 'browse Facebook' is better. Also the interpersonal question should be framed as 'ask each other'. This fits sentence structure corrections.

× Then my wife told what do you want to buy?

✓ Then my wife asked, 'What do you want to buy?'.

Reported speech requires 'asked' not 'told', and direct question punctuation or reporting clause should be used. Using 'told' with a question is incorrect for pronoun/reference and reporting verbs.

× Then we buy it.

✓ Then we would buy it.

The time sequence refers to past habitual actions with 'used to', so 'would buy' or 'bought' fits better than present 'buy'. Using 'would' shows repeated past action.

× I'm not that a big spender but I often love to like spend 10K on shoes sometime because you have to wear something even if you don't wear nothing upside yourself.

✓ I'm not a big spender, but I sometimes like to spend 10K on shoes because you have to wear something even if you don't dress up for yourself.

Original has multiple issues: 'not that a big spender' should be 'not a big spender'; 'often love to like spend' is redundant; 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'; double negative 'don't wear nothing' should be 'don't wear anything'; 'upside yourself' is unclear — replaced with 'dress up for yourself'. Quantifiers and negatives corrected for standard English.

× Like I prefer both. It's depend on the condition.

✓ I prefer both; it depends on the situation.

'It's depend' is ungrammatical; use 'it depends'. 'Like' as sentence starter is informal and unnecessary. 'Condition' is better as 'situation'. This fixes verb agreement and conjunction/transition usage.

× Like if I'm going to like long tour or going to my blaze at that time I prefer comfortable.

✓ If I'm going on a long tour or traveling for work, I prefer comfortable shoes.

Use 'going on a long tour' not 'going to like long tour'; 'going to my blaze' is unclear — interpreted as 'traveling for work'. Correct prepositions 'on' and noun choice, and maintain present simple for habitual preference.

× But if I'm going to the Mary's or some parties I will face I'll.

✓ But if I'm going to a party or to someone's wedding, I will choose fashionable shoes.

Original is unclear: 'the Mary's' and 'I will face I'll' are nonsensical. Interpreted likely meaning is choosing fashionable shoes for parties or weddings. Replaced with clear nouns and correct verb 'choose'.