Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, but, however, and) correctly and avoid repetition (e.g., "basketball shoes is quite expensive" earlier). Also fix relative clause errors ("which requires" → "as I play basketball, which requires"). Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes, but mainly basketball shoes because I play basketball and need different types for indoor and outdoor courts. For casual wear I usually stick to one or two pairs like sandals or trainers, so I do not shop for casual shoes often.

提案: Provide a concise topic sentence and then a specific reason and brief example. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating the same sentence. Mention an exception if applicable (e.g., if you might buy online with free returns).

例: No, I haven't bought shoes online because I prefer to try them on to check comfort and fit. However, I might consider online shopping if the store offers free returns and accurate size charts.

提案: Be precise and correct currency/number expression. Start with a clear statement of the typical amount, then explain why with one specific reason. Avoid filler words (like "you know", "uh") and repetitions. Use correct plural and adjective forms (e.g., "basketball shoes are expensive" and "exclusive colours").

例: I usually spend around $200 to $300 per pair on basketball shoes, and I typically own three to four pairs because certain models and exclusive colours can be quite pricey.

提案: Give a direct opinion sentence then one or two supporting reasons with clear linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "comfortable shoes more than fashionable ones", "a shoe that does not fit"). Avoid redundancy and unfinished sentences.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes rather than fashionable ones because comfort affects how I walk and how long I can be on my feet. For example, I choose well-cushioned trainers for long practice sessions instead of trendy but uncomfortable styles.

× Well, I like buying shoes but only basketball shoes because as I'm a basketball player and which requires a lot of different shoes such as indoor and outdoor basketball shoes.

✓ Well, I like buying shoes, but only basketball shoes because I'm a basketball player and that requires a lot of different shoes, such as indoor and outdoor basketball shoes.

Incorrect relative pronoun and unnecessary words: 'which' is incorrectly used to refer to 'I'm a basketball player'; the clause should use 'that' to refer to the situation or 'being a basketball player' or rephrase to 'because I'm a basketball player and that requires...'. Also 'as' at start of clause is redundant. Suggestion: use 'because I'm a basketball player and that requires...'.

× But when it's for casual or leisure walks, I would usually wear one to two pairs of shoes such as sandals or.

✓ But when it's for casual or leisure walks, I would usually wear one or two pairs of shoes, such as sandals.

Article and phrasing errors: 'one to two pairs' is better as 'one or two pairs'. The sentence ends with 'or.' which is incomplete; remove trailing 'or' and add a clear example 'sandals'. Also add a comma before 'such as'.

× No, I've never bought shoes online because I think the most crucial point is to try the shoe if it is comfortable when you are walking or doing other activities.

✓ No, I've never bought shoes online because I think the most crucial point is being able to try the shoe to see if it is comfortable when you walk or do other activities.

Tense and gerund usage: 'to try the shoe if it is comfortable when you are walking' is awkward. Use gerund 'being able to try' or 'to see', and use simple present 'you walk' and 'do other activities' for general truths. This improves clarity and tense consistency.

× And I think this is the most important way, but you can't really try it out in online shops.

✓ And I think this is the most important way, but you can't really try them on in online shops.

Preposition and pronoun agreement: 'try it out in online shops' is slightly unnatural; use 'try them on' for shoes and 'in' vs 'on' -- 'try on' is the correct phrasal verb for clothing/shoes. Also change singular 'it' to plural 'them' if referring to shoes generally.

× Well, I think I would spend usually for like 2000 to $3000 because you know, basketball shoes is quite expensive and expensive, especially for those exclusive colours and uh, shoe types.

✓ Well, I think I would usually spend around $2000 to $3000 because, you know, basketball shoes are quite expensive, especially for those exclusive colours and shoe types.

Quantifier and number formatting: 'spend usually for like 2000 to $3000' is incorrect; use 'usually spend around $2000 to $3000'. Also subject-verb agreement: 'basketball shoes is' should be 'basketball shoes are'. Remove repeated 'and expensive' redundancy. Use consistent currency format.

× And we usually have 3 to 4 pairs of basketball shoes.

✓ And we usually have three to four pairs of basketball shoes.

Number format and consistency: While '3 to 4' is understandable, write numbers as words in formal speech transcripts: 'three to four pairs'. This corrects numeric presentation; plural 'pairs' is correct.

× Yeah, I prefer comfortable, comfortable shoes more than fashion shoes because I think other people will rarely judge you by your shoes.

✓ Yeah, I prefer comfortable shoes more than fashionable ones because I think other people will rarely judge you by your shoes.

Adjective choice and repetition: 'comfortable, comfortable shoes' is a repetition error. 'Fashion shoes' is better as 'fashionable ones' or 'fashionable shoes'. Use 'fashionable ones' to avoid repetition and improve naturalness.

× But I think it's way essential for you to feel comfortable when you are walking on the street if you're wearing a shoes that is not fitting and.

✓ But I think it's very important for you to feel comfortable when you are walking on the street if you're wearing shoes that do not fit.

Pronoun/article and adjective errors: 'way essential' is informal and awkward; use 'very important'. 'a shoes' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'shoes' without 'a' or 'a shoe' singular. 'that is not fitting' should be 'that do not fit' for correct subject-verb agreement and natural phrasing. Remove trailing 'and'.