Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be slightly more concise and use clearer linking for the reason. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific detail with a linking word. Avoid repeating ideas (e.g., ‘do not do it very often’ and ‘only once a year’ convey the same point).

例: Yes, I like buying shoes, but not frequently. For example, I usually buy new pairs about once a year because my sisters give me many shoes and I only replace them when they wear out.

提案: Organize the response with a clear topic sentence followed by linked supporting details. Use fewer short fragments and more varied vocabulary (e.g., ‘pair’ instead of ‘one’, ‘pink’ rather than ‘color pink’). Mention one brief reason why online buying was satisfactory (fit, price, convenience).

例: Yes, I recently bought a pair of Anta shoes online. They were pink and very comfortable, and because they were both affordable and good quality, I felt the purchase was worthwhile.

提案: Present a clear topic sentence with correct number expression and link the reason smoothly. Use consistent currency format and a linking word like ‘because’ to join the amount and motivation. Replace ‘budget friendly’ with ‘budget-friendly’ or ‘affordable’.

例: I usually spend about $100 to $150 on a pair of shoes because I prefer affordable options that are still comfortable.

提案: Good content and clear preference. Make the answer slightly more concise and combine the two sentences with a linking phrase. Add one specific example of a shoe type or situation to make it more concrete.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because they let me walk confidently without pain, and nowadays many sneakers are both comfortable and stylish, so I often choose sporty sneakers for daily wear.

× I only purchase new pairs about once a year because most of my shoes are gifts from my sisters and I prefer replacing them when they wear out.

✓ I only purchase new pairs about once a year because most of my shoes are gifts from my sisters and I prefer to replace them when they wear out.

The phrase 'prefer replacing' is grammatically acceptable but in this context 'prefer to replace' is more natural and fits typical verb complementation patterns. Use 'prefer to + base verb' when expressing a general preference for an action. Suggestion: use 'prefer to replace' for clarity and naturalness.

× Yes, I recently bought one online and its brand was Anta.

✓ Yes, I recently bought a pair online and its brand was Anta.

The original uses 'one' which is vague for shoes; 'pair' is the correct noun for shoes. This is not strictly a verb form error but relates to appropriate noun choice. Use 'a pair' when referring to shoes.

× It is color pink, it is comfortable and what I like about it the most is that it is very affordable yet good quality, so I felt that it is worth the money.

✓ It is pink, it is comfortable, and what I like most about it is that it is very affordable yet good quality, so I felt that it was worth the money.

Use 'pink' rather than 'color pink'. Use 'what I like most about it' instead of 'what I like about it the most' for conciseness. Also maintain past-tense consistency: 'recently bought' implies past, so change 'is worth' to 'was worth'. Suggestion: simplify adjective phrase and keep tense consistent across the sentence.

× I usually spend 100 to $150 on shoes.

✓ I usually spend $100 to $150 on shoes.

Currency expression requires a dollar sign before both amounts or before the first amount; writing '100 to $150' is inconsistent. Use '$100 to $150' or 'between $100 and $150'. Suggestion: write complete currency format.

× I try not to splurge because I prefer budget friendly options while being comfortable.

✓ I try not to splurge because I prefer budget-friendly options that are comfortable.

Compound adjective 'budget-friendly' requires a hyphen. 'While being comfortable' is awkward; use 'that are comfortable' to modify 'options'. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives and use a relative clause for clarity.