Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, accurate and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and tense/subject-verb errors. Use linking words like “because” or “so” correctly and keep responses to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because I walk in the park every day. I usually buy new pairs every few months as the soles wear out, and occasionally friends gift me shoes as well.

提案: Answer directly and clearly using correct grammar and linking words. State whether you have bought online, then explain briefly why or why not with specific reasons. Avoid repetition and incorrect verb forms; use present perfect or simple past correctly.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online a few times, but I find it difficult to choose the right size. Therefore, I prefer buying in stores where I can try shoes on before I buy them.

提案: Give a direct estimate and support it with a brief reason. Use clear quantifiers (e.g., per month, per year, or approximate amount) and avoid fillers like “uh.” Keep it to one topic sentence plus one supporting detail using linking words such as “because” or “so.”

例: I usually spend around $100 to $150 on a good pair of shoes because I prefer comfortable, long-lasting brands. As a result, I only buy new shoes a few times a year.

提案: This answer is clear and relevant but should be more polished and specific. Start with a concise topic sentence, then add a precise reason and a brief example of the type of comfortable shoes you choose. Use correct sentence structure and remove repetition.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk long distances every day. For example, I usually buy cushioned sneakers that support my feet and prevent pain after several hours of walking.

× Then some people gives me a gift.

✓ Then some people give me a gift.

The subject 'some people' is plural, so the verb must be base form 'give' rather than 'gives'. Use plural verb with plural subject to ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Is I sometimes bought shoes online because it is difficult and different for me.

✓ I sometimes bought shoes online because it was difficult and different for me.

The sentence incorrectly starts with 'Is' and mixes present and past. Remove 'Is' and use consistent past tense 'was' to match 'bought'. Ensure tense consistency and correct word order: Subject + verb.

× I can't choose choose online and I can't buy on Internet.

✓ I can't choose online and I can't buy on the Internet.

There is a duplicated word 'choose' and missing article before 'Internet'. Remove the duplicate and add the definite article 'the Internet' for correct noun usage. Maintain correct verb-object order 'choose online'.

× That's why when I want to go buy shoes online.

✓ That's why I don't want to buy shoes online.

The original is an incomplete sentence and unclear. 'That's why when I want to go buy shoes online' lacks a main clause. Context implies the student avoids buying online, so rewrite as a complete sentence. Ensure subject and verb present and sentence is complete.

× I sometimes, uh, spend uh, a lot of money on shoes because, uh, shoes, they are very expensive.

✓ I sometimes spend a lot of money on shoes because they are very expensive.

Remove filler words and redundant pronoun 'they' after 'shoes'. Use simple present 'spend' for habitual action. Avoid repeating the noun; use pronoun directly: 'shoes are expensive' or 'they are very expensive'.

× Uh, that's why sometimes I can't, uh, buy it and spend more money.

✓ That's why sometimes I can't buy them and spend more money.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to 'shoes' (plural). Use plural pronoun 'them'. Also maintain logical meaning: if shoes are expensive, you might not be able to buy them and spend more money.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot in the park, in the street, in the way.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because I walk a lot in the park, on the street, and on my way.

Use 'on the street' and 'on my way' for idiomatic prepositions. 'In the street' is less common in this context; 'in the way' is incorrect here. Also add 'and' for a proper list.

× That's why comfortable shoes it is important for me.

✓ That's why comfortable shoes are important for me.

There is an unnecessary pronoun 'it' and wrong verb form. 'Comfortable shoes' is plural, so use 'are' and omit 'it'. Ensure subject-verb agreement and remove redundant pronoun.