Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No and frequency), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incomplete phrases. Improve verb forms and countable/uncountable usage (e.g. “I like shopping” not “I like go shopping”).

例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and I do it about once a month. For example, I buy sports shoes for exercise and high heels for special occasions, because different events need different styles and comfort.

提案: Answer directly and explain briefly with clear reasons and linking words. Correct grammar: use full sentences and clear nouns (size, model). Avoid unclear fragments. Mention a specific problem (sizes vary) and perhaps a condition that would make you buy online.

例: No, I have never bought shoes online because I find it hard to choose the correct size. Often sizes differ between brands, so I prefer trying shoes on in a store to make sure they fit.

提案: Give a direct estimate and explain briefly how you reached it. Use correct phrasing for amounts and time (e.g. “about $100 a year” or “around 10,000 [currency] a year”). If unsure, say approximate and provide one reason or example of typical purchases.

例: I haven't calculated exactly, but I spend about 10,000 [local currency] on shoes each year. Most of that goes on one or two pairs of good trainers and a couple of casual pairs.

提案: Begin with a clear preference and then contrast situations using linking words (e.g. “However,” “For example”). Complete your sentences and correct vocabulary (sportswear, need comfortable shoes). Provide a short concluding sentence.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes in general, but it depends on the situation. For example, I wear comfortable sports shoes for exercise, but I might choose fashionable heels for a party if I want to look dressy.

× I like go shopping and buying outfits especially shoes, purchasing different type of shoes such as sportswear, high heels etcetera.

✓ I like going shopping and buying outfits, especially shoes, purchasing different types of shoes such as sportswear and high heels.

After 'like' when expressing general preferences use the gerund form (verb + -ing). Also ensure parallel structure: 'going shopping and buying outfits' both use -ing. Added missing plural 'types' and replaced 'etcetera' with 'and' for clarity.

× It makes me happy and also a shoe sometimes is very very.

✓ It makes me happy and sometimes a pair of shoes can be very expensive.

The original sentence lacks a clear adjective and noun agreement; 'a shoe sometimes is very very' is incomplete. Replaced with a clear adjective 'expensive' and used 'a pair of shoes' for natural English. 'Can be' expresses possibility.

× No, I have never bought shoes or nice because I think it's hard for us to decide which side should we get because sometimes there are the shoes the size of shoes are.

✓ No, I have never bought nice shoes online because I think it's hard for us to decide which size to get; sometimes the sizes of shoes differ between shops.

Moved 'online' to correct place and combined 'nice' with 'shoes'. Use 'which size to get' (infinitive) instead of 'which side should we get'. Clarified 'sizes differ between shops' for natural expression. Present perfect 'have never bought' is correct to describe past experience.

× A bit different between different shops.

✓ The sizes are a bit different between different shops.

The fragment lacked a subject and verb. Make 'sizes' plural to match context and add verb 'are' to form a complete sentence.

× Well I didn't calculate on it but if I have to say I usually spend on shoes like for 10,000 a year.

✓ Well, I haven't calculated it, but if I have to say, I usually spend about 10,000 a year on shoes.

Use present perfect 'haven't calculated' for an experience up to now. Move 'on shoes' to the end and use 'about' for approximation. 'Didn't calculate on it' is unidiomatic.

× Well, it depends on different situations.

✓ Well, it depends on the situation.

Use singular 'the situation' or 'different situations' with clearer phrasing. 'Depends on different situations' is awkward; 'depends on the situation' is more natural.

× For instance, when I have to do exercise, I have to wear comfortable shoes, I have to wear spots wears.

✓ For instance, when I exercise, I have to wear comfortable shoes; I have to wear sportswear.

Use 'when I exercise' (more natural than 'have to do exercise'). Corrected 'spots wears' to 'sportswear'. Replaced comma with semicolon to join related independent clauses.

× For example, when I go shopping for a long time, I need to.

✓ For example, when I go shopping for a long time, I need comfortable shoes.

The original sentence ends abruptly without a verb or object. Added 'comfortable shoes' to complete the thought and match context.