Shoes— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make a direct topic sentence, simplify and correct grammar, avoid repetition, and add a brief reason and frequency. Use linking words to connect ideas. Keep it under 5 sentences.

例: I don't buy shoes very often, but I enjoy wearing them. I usually purchase new shoes only a few times a year because I need to save money. However, if I have extra cash, I sometimes treat myself to a new pair for special occasions.

提案: Start with a clear yes/no and give a concise account of the experience with specific details (what happened, how you felt, and result). Use linking words like 'but' or 'however' to connect contrasting points.

例: Yes, I have bought shoes online once. I was excited because the style looked great and delivery was fast, but the fit was wrong, so I had to return them. Although I liked the convenience, the sizing issue made me more cautious about buying shoes online again.

提案: Give a clear comparison between past and present spending with correct grammar and specific figures. Use linking words (e.g., 'when', 'but', 'now') and explain reasons briefly (comfort, quality). Keep it concise.

例: As a student I usually spent about 500 pesos on a pair of shoes. After graduating and starting work, I now spend several thousand pesos on shoes because I prefer better quality and more comfort for daily wear.

提案: Answer directly and add one or two supporting reasons or an example, using linking words if needed. Keep sentences natural and precise.

例: I prefer comfortable shoes, such as rubber trainers, because I walk a lot during the day. For example, comfortable sneakers prevent foot pain and are suitable for both work and casual outings.

× Not so often but I love to wear shoes but I can't afford it but I love to buy it some if I have money to buy issues.

✓ Not so often, but I love wearing shoes; I can't always afford them, but I buy some if I have money.

Pronoun 'it' was used incorrectly for plural noun 'shoes' and 'issues' is wrong word choice. Use plural pronouns 'them' to refer to shoes and use 'some' or 'a pair' for countable plural. Also simplify conjunctions and use 'love wearing' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I think I remember I bought shoes one time in online shop like shopping and I'm so satisfied.

✓ Yes, I think I remember buying shoes one time in an online shop and I was very satisfied.

Missing article 'an' before 'online shop'. Use past continuous/tense consistency: 'bought' or 'remember buying' and match 'was' for past state. Also 'one time in online shop like shopping' is awkward; 'one time in an online shop' is clear.

× At the same time I'm so disappointed because the shoe size is not fit for my my feet size so.

✓ At the same time, I was disappointed because the shoe size did not fit my feet.

Use correct verb collocation 'fit' with subject: 'did not fit' (past). 'My feet size' is redundant; use 'my feet'. Avoid duplicate 'my my' and trailing 'so'.

× When I'm still a student I spend 500 pesos for your shoes, but after I graduate in college when I get a job I spend like thousands for issues because I need a good one.

✓ When I was a student I spent 500 pesos on shoes, but after I graduated from college and got a job I spent thousands on shoes because I needed good ones.

Tense consistency: use past tense 'was', 'spent', 'graduated', 'got' for past time. Preposition 'on' is correct for spending. 'Your shoes' is wrong pronoun; use 'shoes'. 'Issues' is incorrect word; use 'shoes' or 'pairs'. 'Good one' should be plural 'good ones' to match 'shoes'.

× The more comfortable and nice one, the good quality.

✓ The more comfortable and nicer the shoe, the better the quality.

Comparative structure was incorrect. Use comparative adjectives 'more comfortable' and 'nicer' or 'more comfortable and nicer', and 'the better the quality' to complete the correlative comparative pattern. Ensure noun agreement with 'shoe' or 'shoes'.

× For me, I prefer comfortable shoes like umm, rubber shoes.

✓ For me, I prefer comfortable shoes, like rubber shoes.

Sentence is mostly correct but needs a comma for clarity; remove filler 'umm' in formal responses. Pronouns are fine; this correction improves register and clarity.