Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors, which affects naturalness and effectiveness. Try to make your sentences clearer and more concise, and avoid redundancy. For example, directly state your frequency and reasons with correct grammar.

例: No, I don't go to the library often, but I wish I could because it's a quiet place where I can study and relax by reading books.

提案: Your answer is relevant but a bit repetitive and lacks clear linking words. Try to use linking words to connect your ideas and be more specific about what you explore. Also, correct grammar mistakes for clarity.

例: When I am at the library, I usually study and research because we have to stay quiet there. Therefore, I focus on my studies and use the resources I need.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then support it with reasons using proper grammar and linking words.

例: No, I didn't go to the library when I was a kid because I was very playful and preferred to spend time playing with my friends and neighbors.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be improved by avoiding generalizations and adding more specific details. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide examples or reasons.

例: Yes, many Chinese kids often go to the library because they are hardworking. For example, they use the library to do their homework and improve their knowledge.

× Actually, no, I don't, but I wish I could go to the library every time, because it is till the place is till I can study and I can relax my mind there just by reading the books.

✓ Actually, no, I don't, but I wish I could go to the library all the time, because it is still the place where I can study and relax my mind just by reading books.

The original sentence misuses 'till' and has awkward conjunctions. 'Till' is informal and incorrectly repeated; 'still' is the correct word here. Also, 'the place is till I can study' is ungrammatical; it should be 'the place where I can study'. The phrase 'relax my mind there just by reading the books' is better as 'relax my mind just by reading books' for clarity and conciseness.

× When I am at the library, I usually study and explore some other things because we have to stay quiet in the library, right? And so I just focus on my studies and research and resources that need in my study.

✓ When I am at the library, I usually study and explore other things because we have to stay quiet in the library, right? So I just focus on my studies, research, and the resources I need for my study.

The phrase 'resources that need in my study' is incorrect; it should be 'resources I need for my study' to correctly use the preposition 'for' and the relative clause. Also, 'explore some other things' is better as 'explore other things' for naturalness.

× Obviously it was a no umm, because when I was a kid I used to be a playful child. So I just play with my friends and my neighbors. So I didn't show you go library when I was a kid.

✓ Obviously, it was a no, umm, because when I was a kid I used to be a playful child. So I just played with my friends and my neighbors. So I didn't go to the library when I was a kid.

The sentence 'So I just play with my friends' should be in past tense 'played' to match the past context. Also, 'I didn't show you go library' is ungrammatical; it should be 'I didn't go to the library'. The verb 'show' is incorrect here, and the preposition 'to' is needed before 'the library'.

× Yes, Chinese kids are smart and hardworking, so I think they do their homework at the library and libraries will help them improve more and more.

✓ Yes, Chinese kids are smart and hardworking, so I think they do their homework at the library and the library will help them improve more and more.

The sentence switches between singular and plural inconsistently. 'Libraries will help them' should be 'the library will help them' to maintain consistency since 'the library' was mentioned earlier as a singular place where homework is done.