Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and improving sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I often go to the library. For example, just yesterday I read my favourite book called 'Ikigai', which is a story I really enjoy.

提案: Avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'And also'. Use correct grammar and vocabulary, and provide clear, specific details. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: Usually, I spend time in the library with my friends, where we discuss new vocabulary and interesting statistical information to improve our knowledge.

提案: Make your answer more structured by starting with a clear topic sentence and then adding supporting details. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I loved going to the library when I was a kid. In fact, my school had a library where I often spent my free time reading books.

提案: Try to organise your answer more clearly and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide specific examples to support your points.

例: Yes, Chinese kids often go to the library. For example, most schools in China and Japan have their own libraries where students can read books, study academically, do group work with friends, and receive help from teachers.

× Last time yesterday I went to the library and I read my favorite book that was a story book and its name was Ikigai and I love this book very much.

✓ Yesterday, I went to the library and read my favourite book, which was a storybook called Ikigai, and I love this book very much.

The phrase 'Last time yesterday' is awkward and redundant; 'Yesterday' alone is sufficient. Also, 'that was a story book' should be 'which was a storybook' for clarity and correctness. 'Its name was Ikigai' is better expressed as 'called Ikigai'. The sentence is long and can be improved by breaking it into clearer parts.

× And also I also spent my time with my friends in the library where we can talking about new vocabulary and new statical things and new statistical things also.

✓ I also spent time with my friends in the library where we can talk about new vocabulary and new statistical things.

The phrase 'we can talking' is incorrect; after 'can' the base form of the verb should be used, so it should be 'we can talk'. Also, 'statical' is a misspelling; the correct word is 'statistical'. The sentence is also redundant with 'And also I also' and can be simplified.

× Actually, when I was kid, I also love to go to the library and also in my school, I had a library in my school and most of the time I in my free time I used to spend my time in the library because.

✓ Actually, when I was a kid, I also loved to go to the library. In my school, there was a library, and most of the time in my free time, I used to spend it in the library.

'When I was kid' is missing the article 'a'. 'I also love' should be in past tense 'I also loved' to match 'when I was a kid'. The sentence is long and incomplete; it ends abruptly with 'because'. It is better to split into clearer sentences and complete thoughts.

× Yeah, Chinese kids also go to the library and if we go to the example like Japan or China and in the most of the schools have their own library and students can go to the library and read their favorite books.

✓ Yes, Chinese kids also go to the library. For example, in countries like Japan or China, most schools have their own libraries, and students can go to the library and read their favourite books.

'If we go to the example like Japan or China' is incorrect; it should be 'For example, in countries like Japan or China'. 'In the most of the schools' is incorrect; it should be 'most schools'. 'Library' should be plural 'libraries' when referring to multiple schools. The sentence is long and can be split for clarity.

× Also they can complete their academic study in the library. Also they do group study with their friends and also they got help from the teachers.

✓ They can also complete their academic studies in the library. They do group study with their friends and also get help from the teachers.

The repeated use of 'Also' at the beginning of sentences is redundant and awkward. 'Academic study' should be plural 'academic studies'. 'They got help' should be 'they get help' to maintain present tense consistency. The sentence structure can be improved for better flow.