Library— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is understandable but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. For example, instead of 'in some summer vacation I do have time,' say 'I usually visit the library during summer vacations.' Also, 'It's a place that can make me relax and away from the busy and the noisy city' can be improved to 'It's a peaceful place where I can relax away from the busy and noisy city.'

例: I don't go to the library very often, but I usually visit during summer vacations. It's a peaceful place where I can relax and escape the busy, noisy city.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and has grammatical errors. Try to use a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words. For example, say 'I usually read books or do my homework in the library because it has a focused atmosphere where everyone is studying.'

例: I usually read books or do my homework in the library because it has a focused atmosphere where everyone is studying, which helps me concentrate better.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and could be more precise. Use past tense consistently and provide a clear reason. For example, 'I didn't go to the library much as a kid. I started going in college to prepare for my exams.'

例: I didn't go to the library much when I was a kid. I started visiting it in college to prepare for my exams.

提案: Your answer is repetitive and has grammatical errors. Try to use linking words and avoid repeating phrases. For example, 'It depends. Some kids enjoy reading and visit the library often, while others prefer reading at home.'

例: It depends. Some kids enjoy reading and visit the library often, while others prefer reading at home.

× Not very often, but in some summer vacation I do have time to go to the library.

✓ Not very often, but in some summer vacations I do have time to go to the library.

The phrase 'some summer vacation' is incorrect because 'vacation' is countable here and should be pluralized as 'vacations' to indicate multiple instances. Using the plural form matches the intended meaning of more than one summer period.

× It's a place that can make me relax and away from the busy and the noisy city.

✓ It's a place that can make me relax and get away from the busy and noisy city.

The phrase 'the busy and the noisy city' incorrectly uses the definite article 'the' before both adjectives. Also, 'make me relax and away' is ungrammatical; it should be 'make me relax and get away' to correctly express the intended meaning.

× Mostly I read some book or doing my homework in the library because I think it's a place that's called atmosphere because every day they are reading and studying.

✓ Mostly I read some books or do my homework in the library because I think it's a place with a good atmosphere since every day people are reading and studying.

The phrase 'some book' should be pluralized to 'some books' to indicate multiple books. Also, 'doing my homework' should be 'do my homework' to maintain parallel structure with 'read'. The phrase 'that's called atmosphere' is awkward and corrected to 'with a good atmosphere' for clarity.

× So I did the same as.

✓ So I did the same.

The phrase 'did the same as' is incomplete and incorrect without an object. The correct expression is simply 'did the same' to indicate that the speaker engaged in the same activity.

× Not really, I start going to the library when I was in college the first time I went there.

✓ Not really, I started going to the library when I was in college; the first time I went there.

The verb 'start' should be in the past tense 'started' to agree with the past time reference 'when I was in college'. This maintains correct tense consistency.

× I think that really depends.

✓ I think that it really depends.

The sentence is missing the pronoun 'it' as the subject of 'depends'. Including 'it' makes the sentence grammatically complete.

× Some kids they like reading book, they all go to the library more often.

✓ Some kids like reading books; they all go to the library more often.

The pronoun 'they' is redundant after 'Some kids'. Also, 'reading book' should be pluralized to 'reading books' to be grammatically correct.

× Some kids they enjoy reading book in their at home so they will spend more time reading book personally.

✓ Some kids enjoy reading books at home, so they will spend more time reading books personally.

The phrase 'in their at home' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'at home'. Also, 'reading book' should be pluralized to 'reading books' for correctness.