Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and improve grammatical accuracy and linking. Keep answer to 3–4 concise sentences and use specific examples (mention a song or technique).

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because my voice sounds better when I sing and it lifts my mood. For example, I often sing along to an old jazz song on YouTube to practise phrasing and pitch. This helps me feel happier and improves my vocal skills.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, correct awkward phrasing, and add one specific detail about how you learned (e.g., songs, routines). Use linking words like 'however' or 'because' for coherence.

例: No, I have never taken formal singing lessons, but I learned informally at home because my mother often sang to me. As a result, I picked up melodies and basic techniques by imitating her lullabies.

提案: Be more natural and concise; avoid filler words and repetition. Use conditional phrasing correctly and provide a clear reason or specific song type to make the answer more vivid.

例: I usually sing to myself, but if I had to choose someone I'd sing a gentle love song for my future husband because I think a quiet duet would be romantic and relaxing.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, avoid vague phrases like 'kind of,' and add a specific example of how singing helps (e.g., community choirs, stress relief). Use linking words for flow.

例: Absolutely — singing allows people to express emotions and relieves stress. For example, people in community choirs often report feeling closer to others and more positive after rehearsals.

提案: Make the opening sentence direct and correct word order (e.g., 'listening to others sing'). Add a specific concert or band as an example and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy listening to others sing, especially at live concerts. For example, I once saw a local band perform jazz standards and I loved singing along with the audience during the chorus.

提案: Answer directly, correct tense and phrasing, and give one concrete detail about what you learned in school music classes (e.g., reading music, breathing techniques).

例: No, I haven't taken private singing lessons, but in school music classes we learned basic vocal techniques such as breathing exercises and simple harmonies, which helped me improve my pitch.

× Yes I do because I like my voice when I sing rather than I talk, so when I sing along a song kind of uplift my mood and make me feel happy.

✓ Yes, I do because I prefer my voice when I sing rather than when I speak, so singing along to a song kind of uplifts my mood and makes me feel happy.

Errors: incorrect verb forms and gerund usage (Grammar types 8 and 6). 'Rather than I talk' is unnatural; use 'rather than when I speak'. 'Sing along a song' requires the preposition 'to' and 'singing' as a gerund subject fits better. Subject-verb agreement in 'uplift' and 'make' must match singular subject 'singing', so use 'uplifts' and 'makes'. Suggestion: use gerunds for activities ('singing along to a song') and ensure verbs agree with their subjects.

× For example, I also sing along an old song on YouTube so that I can follow any tones and skills.

✓ For example, I also sing along to old songs on YouTube so that I can follow the tones and techniques.

Errors: incorrect preposition and noun form (Grammar types 8 and 1/11). 'Sing along' requires 'to' and 'an old song' should be plural or matched context; 'any tones and skills' is awkward—use 'the tones and techniques'. Suggestion: use 'sing along to' and prefer plural 'old songs' for general habits; choose precise nouns like 'techniques' for singing skills.

× No, I have never been taught singing, but I kind of have grown up in the surroundings that I can learn singing naturally.

✓ No, I have never been taught how to sing, but I kind of grew up in an environment where I could learn to sing naturally.

Errors: misuse of 'taught singing' and tense/miscollocation (Grammar types 9 and 6/11). 'Been taught singing' is unnatural; use 'taught how to sing' or 'taught to sing'. 'Have grown up in the surroundings' is awkward—use 'grew up in an environment' and match past ability with 'could'. Suggestion: use correct verb patterns ('taught how to + verb'), prefer 'environment' or 'surroundings' with proper prepositions, and keep past tense for upbringing.

× For example, my mom used to sing for me when I was a kid so I could just sing alone and then get to know some music.

✓ For example, my mom used to sing to me when I was a kid, so I would sing by myself and get to know some music.

Errors: preposition and verb choice (Grammar types 11 and 5). Use 'sing to me' not 'sing for me' for parent singing to child; 'could just sing alone' is awkward—'would sing by myself' fits habitual past. 'Get to know some music' is acceptable but smoother as 'get to know music'. Suggestion: use 'used to' with habitual past and prefer 'would' for repeated actions; choose natural prepositions.

× I have no one that I want to sing for.

✓ There is no one I want to sing for.

Errors: sentence phrasing and subject reference (Grammar type 12 and 3). 'I have no one that I want to sing for' is understandable but more natural with 'There is no one I want to sing for.' Also 'that' can be omitted. Suggestion: use natural existential structure or simpler phrasing: 'No one I want to sing for.'

× I actually like singing to myself, but if I have to choose one, I'm gonna sing a calm song for my later husband.

✓ I actually like singing to myself, but if I had to choose someone, I would sing a calm song for my future husband.

Errors: informal contraction and tense/modal mismatch (Grammar types 7 and 4). 'I'm gonna' is informal; use 'I would' for hypothetical. 'Later husband' is nonstandard; use 'future husband'. Suggestion: use conditional 'if I had to choose' and 'would' for hypothetical actions and avoid slang in formal responses.

× I I actually want to sing a song with him together.

✓ I actually want to sing a song with him.

Errors: redundant words and redundant preposition (Grammar type 12 and 16). Double 'I' is a typo. 'Sing a song with him together' is redundant—'with him' already implies together. Suggestion: remove duplicate words and redundant phrases.

× With no doubt it can, since singing is kind of a way to express your feelings like both happiness and sadness.

✓ Without a doubt, it can, since singing is a way to express feelings such as happiness and sadness.

Errors: awkward phrase 'With no doubt' and filler 'kind of' (Grammar types 26 and 13). 'With no doubt' should be 'Without a doubt'. 'Kind of' weakens the statement and is unnecessary. 'Your feelings like both' is awkward; use 'feelings such as'. Suggestion: use clear idiomatic expressions and avoid vague fillers.

× It really helps people to feel better. And also singing is a thing that we can do together, so it really helps people collaborate.

✓ It really helps people feel better. Also, singing is something we can do together, so it helps people collaborate.

Errors: unnecessary infinitive 'to feel', awkward phrase 'a thing that we can do together' and repetition (Grammar types 13 and 16). 'Helps people to feel' is acceptable but 'helps people feel' is smoother. 'Collaborate' is slightly formal; contextually 'connect' or 'work together' might be clearer. Suggestion: combine sentences for flow and choose natural verbs like 'connect' or 'cooperate' if intended.

× Yes, I like to listen to other singing, especially I like to go to a concert to listen to professional singers or bands playing their music.

✓ Yes, I like to listen to others singing; especially, I like to go to concerts to listen to professional singers or bands playing their music.

Errors: pronoun and noun number (Grammar types 12 and 1). 'Other singing' should be 'others singing' or 'other people sing'. 'A concert' to mean concerts in general should be plural 'concerts'. Suggestion: use 'others singing' or 'other people sing' and match singular/plural for general statements.

× I like the moment that I just appreciate their songs or I also like to sing along with them or with other audience.

✓ I like moments when I can just appreciate their songs, or I also like to sing along with them or with other audience members.

Errors: incorrect relative clause and noun phrase (Grammar types 8 and 11). 'The moment that I just appreciate' should be plural 'moments when I can appreciate'. 'Other audience' is incorrect; use 'other audience members'. Suggestion: use 'moments when' for occasions and 'audience members' for people in the audience.

× No, I have never taken any singing classes, but I have just attended music classes at school when I was a student and teachers sometimes taught us how to sing both in traditional ways and modern ways.

✓ No, I have never taken any singing classes, but I attended music classes at school when I was a student, and teachers sometimes taught us how to sing in both traditional and modern ways.

Errors: tense consistency and adverb placement (Grammar types 5 and 6). 'Have just attended' conflicts with 'when I was a student'—use simple past 'attended' for completed past actions. 'Both in traditional ways and modern ways' is wordy; use 'in both traditional and modern ways'. Suggestion: maintain past tense for past time markers and simplify parallel structures.