Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating ideas, and use linking words to connect reasons. Replace filler phrases like 'Like' and refine vocabulary (e.g., 'immerse myself in music' instead of 'immersed in the music environment'). Keep answers to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love singing. It's a favourite hobby of mine and helps me relax after a busy day because I can really immerse myself in the music. In addition, singing makes me feel more confident and uplifted.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence and give one or two specific details about what you learned (techniques or experiences). Use linking words like 'for example' or 'in particular' to make it coherent. Avoid vague phrases like 'some techniques' without examples.

例: Yes, I have. I took music classes from primary through high school, where we learned basic vocal techniques such as breathing control and pitch matching. For example, we practised scales to improve pitch and breathing exercises to support longer phrases.

提案: Avoid filler remarks and hesitations. Answer directly, then give a concise, specific reason and a brief prediction or plan. Correct grammar (e.g., 'may start' not 'may started') and use linking words like 'because' or 'so that'.

例: I'd like to sing for my boyfriend because he isn't very interested in music; I hope that by sharing songs he might begin to appreciate it. If he enjoys my singing, I might take him to concerts so he can experience different styles.

提案: Correct word choice errors ('singing' not 'seeing') and be concise: state your view, give a clear reason, and provide a specific example. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'therefore'.

例: Yes, absolutely. Singing helps people relax and lifts their mood because it releases tension and encourages social bonding. For example, I often go to karaoke with friends or family, and singing together always makes us feel happier.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence and avoid grammatical errors ('I like it because' and 'I definitely like listening to others sing'). Give one specific reason and a brief example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for instance'.

例: Yes, I enjoy listening to others sing because it feels personal—if someone performs for me, it shows they trust me. For instance, at karaoke nights I learn about my friends' tastes and we often discover new songs together.

提案: Start with a direct answer and give a concise reason; avoid ambiguous or unsupported claims (e.g., 'singing is the simplest way for people to learn'). Clarify your view about hobby vs. career with a brief justification and one supporting detail.

例: Yes, I took singing lessons at school but never attended professional classes. Since I treat singing as a hobby rather than a career, I felt basic school lessons were enough to enjoy singing and relieve stress.

× Like you can make yourself fully immersed in the music environment.

✓ For example, you can make yourself fully immersed in the musical environment.

The original sentence begins with 'Like' used colloquially; replace with 'For example' for clarity. Also 'music environment' is awkward; use the adjective 'musical.' The present tense 'can make' is fine, but wording needed correction for natural English.

× Have you ever learnt how to sing?

✓ Have you ever learned how to sing?

'Learnt' is a valid British past participle, but in this transcript other verbs use American forms (e.g., 'learned' is more common in American English). Choose one variety consistently; here 'learned' is suggested. The sentence uses present perfect correctly as it asks about experience up to now.

× We had music classes in the primary school to the high school.

✓ We had music classes from primary school to high school.

The phrase 'in the primary school to the high school' is ungrammatical. Use the preposition 'from' with 'to' to indicate a range: 'from primary school to high school.' Articles are unnecessary before school levels in this context.

× During the classes we would learn some techniques about how to sing some simple songs.

✓ During the classes we learned techniques on how to sing simple songs.

The modal 'would' implies habitual past but is unnecessary; use simple past 'learned' for clarity. 'Learned techniques on how to sing simple songs' is more natural than 'learn some techniques about how to sing some simple songs.'

× Well is a good question, but I think I will answer that I want to sing for my boyfriend.

✓ Well, that's a good question, but I think I'll answer that I want to sing for my boyfriend.

Missing 'that's' after 'Well' and incorrect tense/modal form. Use contraction 'I'll' (I will) for spoken English. Also add a comma after 'Well.'

× So I suppose if I sing some songs for him he may started to like the music.

✓ So I suppose if I sing some songs for him, he may start to like music.

Mix of modals and past tense: 'may started' is incorrect because 'may' must be followed by base verb form. Use 'start' after 'may.' Also remove 'the' before 'music' for general sense. Add comma after the conditional clause.

× I always think seeing is a happy and perfect way for people to feel relaxed, so from time to time I will go to the karaoke with my friend or family to make us fully immerse in the music environment.

✓ I always think singing is a happy and perfect way for people to relax, so from time to time I go to karaoke with my friends or family to fully immerse ourselves in the musical environment.

'Seeing' is a typo for 'singing.' Use 'relax' instead of 'feel relaxed' for concision. 'I will go' sounds future; 'from time to time' suits present simple 'I go.' Use plural 'friends' and reflexive 'ourselves' with 'immerse.' 'Musical environment' is more natural.

× Yes, I like because in my opinion, if someone chooses to sing in front of me, it means I'm something special and important to them.

✓ Yes, I like it because, in my opinion, if someone chooses to sing in front of me, it means I'm special and important to them.

Missing object 'it' after 'I like.' 'I'm something special' is awkward; use 'I'm special.' Punctuation adjusted for clarity.

× So I definitely like listen other people singing.

✓ So I definitely like listening to other people singing.

'Like' followed by verb requires gerund: 'listening.' Also need preposition 'to' after 'listening' when indicating the person being listened to.

× That's why I will go to karaoke with my friends.

✓ That's why I go to karaoke with my friends.

'Will go' implies future intention; here a habitual action is better expressed with present simple 'go.'

× You know, as I mentioned before, I really want to know their music taste.

✓ You know, as I mentioned before, I really want to know their musical tastes.

'Music taste' should be pluralized to 'musical tastes' or 'music tastes.' Use 'musical' as adjective. 'Taste' singular is possible but 'tastes' is more natural when referring to multiple friends.

× Yes, I have, but only in the school.

✓ Yes, I have, but only at school.

Use the preposition 'at' with 'school' for general attendance; 'in the school' suggests inside the building and is less natural here.

× I didn't attend any professional singing classes because singing is the simplest way for people to learn and I don't think we need to take some professional classes if we just say singing as a hobby instead of career.

✓ I didn't attend any professional singing classes because singing is the easiest way for people to learn, and I don't think we need to take professional classes if we consider singing a hobby rather than a career.

Several issues: 'simplest' should be 'easiest' when referring to a straightforward activity. 'Take some professional classes' is acceptable but 'take professional classes' is more natural. 'Say singing as a hobby' is incorrect; use 'consider singing a hobby rather than a career.' Punctuation added to split clauses for clarity.