Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more organized and concise: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two clear supporting reasons with specific examples. Avoid repeating ideas (e.g. practice, emotion, freedom) and correct some awkward phrasing ("a free person" unclear). Use linking words like "because" or "for example."

例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me relieve stress and express emotions. For example, when I'm upset I sing along to my favorite songs, which quickly improves my mood. However, I know singing is a difficult skill that requires regular practice and confidence.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one concise reason with a specific detail. Avoid vague phrases like "a free person" and don't repeat previous points. If possible, mention any informal attempts (practicing alone, online lessons) to show engagement.

例: No, I haven't taken formal singing lessons because I find it challenging. Instead, I practice alone at home by following online tutorials when I want to improve my breathing and pitch.

提案: Start with a direct answer to the question (who) and then explain why. Avoid unclear or unrelated statements ("some people find singing occurred"). Use specific examples and clearer linking words like "because" or "for instance."

例: I would feel most comfortable singing for close friends or family rather than my boyfriend, because singing is very personal and helps me express feelings I struggle to say aloud. For example, I might sing at a small family gathering where everyone understands me.

提案: Be concise and varied in vocabulary; avoid repetition ("it helps me" repeated). Use one clear example and a linking phrase. You can strengthen the answer by explaining how music affects mood (rhythm, lyrics) briefly.

例: Yes, I believe singing and music can make people happier because upbeat melodies and encouraging lyrics lift the mood. For example, when I'm feeling down I play cheerful songs on the radio and their rhythm and words quickly cheer me up.

提案: Answer directly then give a specific example and reason. Avoid awkward phrasing and be careful with generalisations about friends. Mention one or two qualities you appreciate in a singer (voice control, emotion).

例: Not always — I don't enjoy listening to friends sing badly because it can be awkward. However, I admire professional singers like Elisa because her emotional delivery and clear phrasing make the lyrics very moving.

提案: Provide a concise, coherent response: say when or where you took classes, what you learned, and why you stopped. Avoid repeating "emotional person" and vague statements like "didn't work." Give one specific reason (difficulty with pitch, technique) and show what you tried to improve.

例: Yes, I once took a few singing lessons at a local music school because I was interested in developing my voice. I learned basic breathing and pitch exercises, but I stopped because I struggled with pitch control and preferred to practice informally at home.

× I find it a way to release your stress.

✓ I find it a way to release my stress.

The speaker shifts person from 'I' to 'your', causing a pronoun mismatch. Use the first-person possessive 'my' to refer to the speaker's own stress.

× I could imagine myself being a singer because I am an emotional person and however it's a hard skill, it needs much practice and a free person as well.

✓ I could imagine myself being a singer because I am an emotional person; however, it's a difficult skill and needs a lot of practice and freedom.

Multiple issues: 'however' should be used as a conjunctive adverb with appropriate punctuation; 'hard' in this context is better as 'difficult'; 'much practice' is less natural than 'a lot of practice'; 'a free person' is unclear — 'freedom' fits the idea. Rephrase for clarity and correct adjective choice.

× Have you ever learnt how to sing?

✓ Have you ever learned how to sing?

Both 'learnt' and 'learned' are acceptable variants (British vs American). If using American spelling elsewhere ('learned' used later), keep 'learned' for consistency. No grammatical error beyond spelling variant; suggest consistent usage.

× It requires practicing, it requires a free person, and it needs emotions because it is a way to release your stress as well.

✓ It requires practice, requires freedom, and needs emotion because it is a way to release my stress as well.

'Requires practicing' is awkward; use the noun 'practice'. 'A free person' is unclear — use 'freedom' or 'an emotionally free person' depending on meaning. 'Emotions' as a noun is better singular 'emotion' in this abstract sense. Also fix pronoun to 'my' for consistency.

× I can't imagine myself singing for my boyfriend and expressing words that I cannot express in real life because it's a window to words to flow.

✓ I can't imagine myself singing for my boyfriend and expressing words that I cannot express in real life because it's a way for words to flow.

'A window to words to flow' is unidiomatic. Use 'a way for words to flow' or 'a way to let words flow'. Also keep pronouns consistent; sentence otherwise needs clearer phrasing.

× However, some people find singing occurred and they think it's depressing and bring sadness.

✓ However, some people find that singing can seem awkward; they think it is depressing and brings sadness.

'Find singing occurred' is ungrammatical. Use 'find that' followed by appropriate clause. 'Bring sadness' should be 'brings sadness' to agree with singular subject 'it' or 'singing'. Clarify meaning: perhaps 'seem awkward' instead of 'occurred'.

× Of course it does, because some songs are really positives.

✓ Of course it does, because some songs are really positive.

'Positives' is a noun; the intended meaning requires the adjective 'positive'. Use 'positive' to modify 'songs'.

× For example, when I'm depressed, I turn the radio on and I put on some positive songs.

✓ For example, when I'm depressed, I turn on the radio and play some positive songs.

'Turn the radio on and I put on some positive songs' is wordy and slightly awkward. Use parallel verbs 'turn on' and 'play' for natural phrasing.

× I find it really like a therapist or antidepressant.

✓ I find it really like a therapist or an antidepressant.

'Antidepressant' as a countable noun needs the article 'an'. Also 'really like' is acceptable colloquially, but consider 'I find it really helpful, like a therapist or an antidepressant.' for clarity.

× Actually I don't because many of my friends, they don't have the skill of singing.

✓ Actually I don't, because many of my friends don't have the skill of singing.

Avoid redundant pronoun 'they' after 'my friends'. Remove the extra pronoun to fix redundancy and maintain subject clarity.

× I find it awkward listening to them.

✓ I find it awkward to listen to them.

Use the infinitive 'to listen' after 'awkward' rather than the gerund 'listening' in this construction for natural English.

× But I like to listen to Elisa for example, because she makes you feel the words that require much emotions.

✓ But I like to listen to Elisa, for example, because she makes you feel the words that require a lot of emotion.

Add commas around 'for example' as a parenthetical. 'Require much emotions' is ungrammatical; use 'require a lot of emotion' or 'require much emotion'. 'Emotion' is normally uncountable here.

× Absolutely I did.

✓ Yes, I did.

'Absolutely I did' is informal and slightly awkward placement of 'absolutely'. Use 'Yes, I did' or 'Absolutely' alone. Also keep short answers natural.

× I was really interested because I'm an emotional person. I've always been an emotional person.

✓ I was really interested because I'm an emotional person. I've always been an emotional person.

These sentences are grammatically okay. Ensure consistency: past 'I was interested' followed by present perfect 'I've always been' is acceptable because it links past interest to a continuing trait.

× In fact, I tried that but it didn't work because I don't have a good voice.

✓ In fact, I tried that but it didn't work because I don't have a good voice.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable, though 'a good voice' is subjective. Tense usage is consistent: past attempt with present general ability.

× And for example, I used to try romantic singing, but it didn't work.

✓ For example, I used to try singing romantic songs, but it didn't work.

'Try romantic singing' is awkward; use 'singing romantic songs' or 'trying romantic singing styles'. Also remove redundant 'and' at start of sentence.

× It requires a deep emotional levels.

✓ It requires deep emotional levels.

Number agreement: 'a deep ... levels' mixes singular article with plural noun. Either 'a deep emotional level' or 'deep emotional levels'. Choose plural without 'a' to match 'levels'.