Singing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答中有一些语法错误和用词不当，比如将'singing'误说成'seeing'，影响了表达的自然性和清晰度。建议你注意正确使用单词，并简洁明了地表达观点，同时避免重复。

例: Yes, I like singing because it has been my hobby for 10 years. It helps me relax and lifts my mood when I feel down.

提案: 回答中仍有'seeing'和'saying'的错误，应改为'singing'。句子结构较为简单，建议使用连接词使表达更连贯，同时注意语法正确。

例: No, I have never taken formal singing lessons because singing is just a hobby for me. I enjoy singing anytime I feel stressed as it brings me positive emotions.

提案: 回答内容较丰富，但句子较长且缺少适当的连接词，导致表达不够流畅。建议使用连接词如'and','so'等，使句子更自然。

例: I like to sing for my little brother because he enjoys my voice. When I sing for him, he smiles and laughs, which cheers me up. I want to share my feelings and have fun singing together with him.

提案: 回答中多次出现'seeing'错误，应为'singing'。句子结构混乱，表达不够清晰。建议简化句子，使用正确词汇，并用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: Absolutely. I think singing is my most treasured hobby because it gives me great pleasure. It allows me to express my feelings and share positive emotions with others, whether I am happy or sad.

× Definitely because I'm seeing for me is kind of like a hobby that I cultivated for 10 years and it made me feel very relaxed and interesting.

✓ Definitely because singing for me is kind of like a hobby that I have cultivated for 10 years and it makes me feel very relaxed and interested.

The verb 'seeing' is incorrect; the correct gerund form is 'singing'. Also, 'interesting' should be 'interested' to describe the feeling. The tense should be present perfect 'have cultivated' to indicate an action continuing up to now, and 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'singing'.

× Maybe feel relaxed when I'm saying and I could also like chill myself, cheer myself up when I'm depressed.

✓ Maybe I feel relaxed when I'm singing and I can also chill myself, cheer myself up when I'm depressed.

'Saying' is incorrect; it should be 'singing'. Also, 'could' is better as 'can' to express ability in present tense. The sentence needs a subject 'I' before 'feel'.

× Never because seeing for me is just a hobby.

✓ Never because singing for me is just a hobby.

'Seeing' is incorrect; it should be 'singing'. The sentence is in present tense, so 'is' is correct.

× Uhm I could sing anywhere anytime when I'm feel stressful and saying could give me some positive emotion.

✓ Uhm I can sing anywhere anytime when I feel stressed and singing can give me some positive emotion.

'Could' should be 'can' to express present ability. 'I'm feel' is incorrect; correct is 'I feel'. 'Stressful' is an adjective describing something causing stress; the correct adjective for feeling is 'stressed'. 'Saying' should be 'singing'.

× I don't want to train it as my professional, I only want to do it as a hobby.

✓ I don't want to train it professionally, I only want to do it as a hobby.

'Train it as my professional' is incorrect; 'train it professionally' is the correct adverbial form. The modal verb 'want to' is used correctly.

× I would like to sing for my little brother because he enjoys my voice.

✓ I would like to sing for my little brother because he enjoys my voice.

No grammatical error detected in this sentence.

× Every time I sing for him, he'll smile and laugh and cheer me up and I want to share my feelings with him and to play with him, to sing with him.

✓ Every time I sing for him, he smiles, laughs, and cheers me up. I want to share my feelings with him, play with him, and sing with him.

'He'll' (he will) is future tense; present simple 'he smiles' is better for habitual actions. Also, the sentence is long and needs to be split for clarity. Added commas and conjunctions for correct coordination.

× Absolutely, I consider seeing as the most treasure treasure hobby in my life that can give me huge pleasure because I can express my feelings and spread to other people.

✓ Absolutely, I consider singing as the most treasured hobby in my life that can give me huge pleasure because I can express my feelings and share them with other people.

'Seeing' should be 'singing'. 'Treasure treasure' is a repetition error; correct adjective is 'treasured'. 'Spread to other people' is incorrect; 'share them with other people' is better.

× In tell them well whether I'm happy or sad and spread them positive mind.

✓ I tell them well whether I'm happy or sad and spread positive thoughts to them.

The sentence is ungrammatical. 'In tell them well' is incorrect; should be 'I tell them well'. 'Spread them positive mind' is incorrect; better is 'spread positive thoughts to them'.