Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., "No, I'm not very good at memorising things."), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., "For example,..."), and correct common errors ("memorise/remember", "items/things", avoid repeating words). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: No, I'm not very good at memorising things. For example, when my mother asks me to put some items in the kitchen, I often forget them within a short time. Because I tend to get distracted, I try to write short notes to remind myself.

提案: Tell the story clearly with correct tense and cohesion. Start with a topic sentence acknowledging you have forgotten something important, then briefly narrate the event in chronological order using linking words (e.g., "One time...", "I realized/then I noticed..."). Use correct past tense forms and singular/plural agreement. Keep it to 2–4 sentences and avoid unnecessary repetition.

例: Yes, I have. One time I accidentally locked my brother in the car because I forgot he was sleeping inside. I had been scrolling my phone and walked away, then closed and locked the door; I only realised when he started knocking on the window.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about daily responsibilities, then provide specific examples with linking words. Correct grammar: say "I work a part-time job" and use specific tasks (e.g., "scheduling deliveries, tracking inventory"). Avoid vague phrasing and unnecessary repetition. Use 2–4 sentences and be specific about times or procedures if possible.

例: I need to remember tasks related to my part-time job. For example, I must track delivery times and manage when vegetables and meat arrive so I can prepare them for sale. To help, I keep a simple schedule on my phone.

提案: Answer with a clear topic sentence showing your main method, then give specific details and a reason. Use correct forms ("I record notes on my phone"; "if something is very important, I write it on my hand"), and include linking words ("also", "because"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid small grammar errors.

例: I usually record important reminders on my phone because it's easy to check. If something is very urgent, I also write it on my hand so I won't forget it during the day.

× Actually I'm not person really good at memorize.

✓ Actually I'm not a person who is really good at memorizing.

Missing article 'a', incorrect word order, and wrong verb form. Use 'a person who is' to describe someone and the gerund 'memorizing' after 'good at'. Suggestion: insert the article, add 'who is' for clarity, and use verb+ing after 'good at'.

× I sometimes forget somethings such as when my when my mom asked me to put things to her kitchen and I forget in a short time.

✓ I sometimes forget things, for example when my mom asks me to put things in her kitchen and I forget after a short time.

Use 'things' not 'somethings' and correct preposition 'in' not 'to'. Also tense and repetition fixed: use present simple 'asks' for habitual action. Suggestion: use 'for example' for clarity, 'in her kitchen', and 'after a short time'.

× To be honest it is a very funny story.

✓ To be honest, it was a very funny story.

Context refers to a past event, so past tense 'was' is appropriate. Add a comma after the introductory phrase. Suggestion: choose past tense when narrating past events.

× One time I locked my brother in the car because I forgot that he was sleep.

✓ One time I locked my brother in the car because I forgot that he was sleeping.

Use the past continuous 'was sleeping' to describe an ongoing action in the past; 'sleep' is the base form and incorrect here. Suggestion: use 'was sleeping' or 'had fallen asleep' to convey he was asleep.

× He was sleeping inside and I just scroll my phone and walk out the car and lock them in.

✓ He was sleeping inside and I just scrolled through my phone, walked out of the car, and locked him in.

Pronoun 'them' is incorrect for a singular male; use 'him'. Tense should be past simple 'scrolled' and 'walked' to match the past narration. Also use 'scrolled through' and 'out of the car'. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense and correct singular pronoun.

× As a part as a part because I'm work as a part time job so sometimes I have to responsible for my job so I have to manage like how when will vegetable or when will the meat come in?

✓ Because I work a part-time job, sometimes I am responsible for my duties, so I have to manage when the vegetables or the meat will arrive.

Many issues: unnecessary repetition, incorrect verb forms ('I'm work' -> 'I work'), article and adjective placement ('part-time job'), adjective/adverb use ('responsible for my duties'), word order in questions ('when the vegetables or the meat will arrive' as a reported clause). Suggestion: use 'I work a part-time job', 'responsible for', and 'manage when X will arrive' or rephrase as 'when the vegetables or meat arrive'.

× Sometimes I recorded in my phone and if the things is very important, I will write on my hand so that I can see them anywhere.

✓ Sometimes I record things in my phone, and if something is very important, I write it on my hand so that I can see it anywhere.

Tense consistency: use present simple for habitual actions ('record' not 'recorded'). Use 'record X in my phone' word order. 'Things is' incorrect agreement; use 'something is' or 'they are'. Writing 'it on my hand' is acceptable but better 'on my hand'. Use singular consistency: 'if something is very important, I write it on my hand'. Suggestion: keep present simple for habits and match singular/plural pronouns to antecedents.