Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid contradictions. Start with a clear topic sentence about current ability, then give one brief past example. Reduce fillers and correct grammar (e.g., "photographic memory" claim should be stated cautiously). Use one linking word to connect idea (e.g., "however").

例: I'm not very good at memorising things these days. However, I used to be much better in middle and high school; for instance, I often scored highly in tests because I developed strong rote-learning habits and visual recall techniques.

提案: Avoid hesitations and give a clear concise anecdote with specific details (what the task was, which step you forgot, and the consequence). Use linking words (e.g., "for example", "as a result") and correct awkward phrasing like "experienced the same".

例: Yes. For example, during a college practical exam I forgot a crucial step in my lab demonstration — I missed calibrating the equipment — and as a result my overall grade dropped significantly.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence about your role and then list specific everyday items you must remember. Avoid fragmented or unclear opening ("Is a professional..."). Use linking words like "for example" or "such as" and be more specific about tasks.

例: As a professional at a busy company, I need to remember my daily tasks and deadlines. For example, I must recall meeting times, client requests, project milestones and important emails so I can prioritise and manage my work effectively.

提案: This answer is clear but can be improved by adding one more specific technique and a linking word for coherence. Keep it concise (maximum 3–4 sentences) and provide a brief example of how these methods work in practice.

例: I keep a journal where I list my tasks and assign deadlines, and I also set phone reminders for urgent items. For instance, before a client meeting I write the agenda in my journal and set a reminder two hours earlier so I have time to prepare.

× At present, honestly, I'm not good with memorizing things anymore.

✓ At present, honestly, I'm not good at memorizing things anymore.

Use the correct preposition: 'good at' is the standard collocation when describing ability or skill. 'Good with' is used for handling tools or people (for example, 'good with children'). Replace 'with' by 'at' to be grammatically correct.

× However, when I was in middle school up to college, I was really good with memorizing stuff.

✓ However, when I was in middle school up to college, I was really good at memorizing stuff.

The main issue is the preposition collocation: use 'good at' not 'good with'. The gerund 'memorizing' is fine here, so no change to the verb form is needed; only replace 'with' by 'at'.

× For example, I tend to have a perfect score on my examinations because I have a photographic memory.

✓ For example, I tended to get perfect scores on my examinations because I had a photographic memory.

Tense consistency: the speaker refers to past ability, so past tense should be used. Use 'tended to get' (habit in the past) and plural 'perfect scores' for multiple examinations. Also change 'have' to 'had' for the past state. This preserves meaning and tense agreement.

× Definitely. I think umm, almost all of us have experienced the same umm, during an examination in college, I actually forgot uh, a significant step in my return demonstration and that made my marks very low.

✓ Definitely. I think almost all of us have had similar experiences. During an examination in college, I actually forgot a significant step in my return demonstration, which made my marks very low.

The original mixes two clauses without clear structure and contains fillers. Split into two sentences for clarity. Use 'have had similar experiences' for natural phrasing, and replace the comma splice with 'which' to link the cause and result. Remove filler words for fluency.

× Is a professional working in a prestigious company.

✓ I am a professional working in a prestigious company.

The original lacks a subject and auxiliary verb, so it is a sentence fragment. Add the subject 'I' and the verb 'am' to form a complete sentence: 'I am a professional...'. This corrects the sentence structure.

× In my day-to-day life, it is essential for me to remember my tasks properly and to manage my time effectively while keeping in mind the important things that I have to do.

✓ In my day-to-day life, it is essential for me to remember my tasks and manage my time effectively while keeping in mind the important things I have to do.

The sentence is mostly correct grammatically, but can be tightened: remove 'properly' (redundant when using 'remember my tasks') and the extra 'to' before 'manage' for parallel structure. Also remove 'that' for smoother flow. These changes improve clarity and parallelism.

× I use a journal to list my to do tasks and also I set deadlines for me to finish my tasks on time.

✓ I use a journal to list my to-do tasks, and I also set deadlines for myself to finish my tasks on time.

Fix hyphenation 'to-do' and pronoun usage: use the reflexive pronoun 'myself' after 'set deadlines for' to indicate the subject. Insert a comma for natural pause and move 'also' for better flow.

× This makes me not only productive but also helps me manage my time well.

✓ This not only makes me more productive but also helps me manage my time well.

Parallel structure problem and pronoun placement: 'not only... but also' should surround parallel elements. Place 'not only' before the verb phrase and add 'more' to compare productivity. This yields a grammatically parallel and natural sentence.