Memory— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Melhore a clareza e a correção gramatical: comece com uma frase-tópico direta, corrija erros de tempo e concordância, e evite repetições. Use conectores simples para ligar ideias (e.g., "but", "because", "however"). Tente responder em no máximo 3–4 frases e mantenha vocabulário preciso como "remember" em vez de "memorize" repetidamente.

例: It depends on the day. When I sleep well, I can remember things easily, but when I don't sleep I struggle to concentrate and often forget things. For example, after a sleepless night I can't recall details from class.

提案: Seja mais organizada e específica: comece com uma frase-tópico que responde diretamente, depois dê detalhes concretos (o que era, quando, o resultado). Evite pausas e repetições; use palavras precisas (e.g., "I lost an important school form") e um conector para explicar a consequência.

例: Yes, once I lost an important school form that I had to hand in to my teacher. I realized it was missing the morning of the deadline, and because of that I had to explain the situation and ask for an extension.

提案: Use uma estrutura mais clara e vocabulário correto: evite termos informais/errados como "stuffs"; prefira "tasks" ou "assignments". Dê 2–3 itens específicos e explique brevemente por que são importantes usando conectores (e.g., "also", "because").

例: I need to remember daily tasks for school, such as homework and assignment deadlines. I also try to remember to set aside time to study and to relax, because balancing work and rest helps me perform better.

提案: Seja mais precisa e fluente: inicie com uma frase-tópico clara, explique o método e dê um exemplo concreto. Use vocabulário apropriado (e.g., "note-taking app", "set reminders") e conectores para coesão.

例: I use a note-taking app on my phone where I record daily tasks and set reminders. For example, I create a color-coded list each morning and set an alarm for important deadlines so I don't forget them.

× Oh, the really depends of the day, because when I can't sleep, I can't think.

✓ Oh, it really depends on the day, because when I can't sleep, I can't think.

'The' is incorrectly used before 'really'; the correct subject pronoun is 'it'. Use the preposition 'on' with 'depends on'. Also word order should be 'it really depends on the day'. Suggestions: replace 'the' with 'it' and change 'depends of' to 'depends on'.

× So there are days that I can sleep well.

✓ So there are days when I can sleep well.

Using 'that' after 'days' is possible but 'when' is more natural to refer to times. This is a usage/naturalness issue tied to tense and time adverbial choice. Suggestion: use 'when' for time expressions: 'days when'.

× So in the days, of course I can memorize things well, but when I can't sleep, I forgot everything about my life.

✓ So on those days, of course I can memorize things well, but when I can't sleep, I forget everything about my life.

'In the days' is incorrect; use 'on those days' or 'on those occasions'. The second clause mixes present ('can't sleep') with past 'forgot'; maintain present simple: 'forget'. Suggestions: use 'on those days' and 'forget' to keep consistent present tense.

× Yes, I have. Once I forgot a paper uh, I it was an important paper.

✓ Yes, I have. Once I forgot a paper; it was an important document.

Redundant filler and unclear pronoun. 'I it was' is ungrammatical; separate into two clauses or a semicolon. 'Paper' repeated; 'document' is clearer. Suggestion: remove filler and restructure: 'Once I forgot a paper; it was an important document.'

× It was about something about like my school and I had to give the paper to my teacher, but I just forgot.

✓ It was about something to do with my school and I had to give the paper to my teacher, but I just forgot.

'About something about like' is redundant and ungrammatical. Use 'something to do with' or 'about my school'. Suggestion: simplify to 'It was about my school' or 'It was something to do with my school'.

× I just lost the paper. I think I throw it off, but yeah, I have.

✓ I just lost the paper. I think I threw it away, but yes, I have.

Mixes present 'throw' with past context; should use past 'threw'. 'Throw it off' is incorrect for discarding; use 'threw it away'. 'Yeah, I have' is okay but 'yes, I have' more formal. Suggestion: use past tense 'threw' and correct phrasal verb 'threw it away'.

× I need to remember about school stuffs, I need to remember to study and I need to remember to stay relaxed because study is important but we need a time off too, right?

✓ I need to remember school stuff, I need to remember to study, and I need to remember to stay relaxed because studying is important but we need time off too, right?

'Stuffs' is uncountable and incorrect; 'stuff' is the correct uncountable form. 'Remember about' is unnecessary; use 'remember' plus object. 'Study' should be a noun gerund 'studying' when referring to the activity. 'A time off' is incorrect; use 'time off' without an article. Suggestion: use 'school stuff', 'studying', and 'time off'.

× There is an app in my phone which is colored notes.

✓ There is an app on my phone called Colored Notes.

Use 'on my phone' rather than 'in my phone'. 'Which is colored notes' is awkward; use 'called' to name an app. Suggestion: say 'There is an app on my phone called Colored Notes.'

× I usually write what I need to do there to remember everything I need to do in that day specifically.

✓ I usually write what I need to do there to remember everything I need to do that day specifically.

'In that day' is awkward; use 'that day' for a specific day. Also repetition 'to do' is acceptable but could be reduced. Suggestion: remove 'in' and keep 'that day'.