Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and grammatically correct: use plural “snacks”, add article and prepositions, and keep it concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a brief supporting detail with a linking phrase. For example, say when and with whom, and optionally why. Avoid repetition and keep to 1–3 sentences.

例: I usually eat snacks while watching movies with my family and friends. Because we like to share food during film nights, I often have a few chips or popcorn with them.

提案: Give a direct answer, then explain with accurate vocabulary and a clear reason. Use correct grammar (e.g., "there is"/"there are" or mention specific nutrients like saturated fat) and avoid vague phrases. One or two supporting sentences are enough, with a linking word like "because" or "however."

例: No, I don't think most snacks are healthy because many contain a lot of saturated fat and added salt. For example, potato chips are high in fat and calories, which can increase the risk of heart problems.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear, relevant reason—avoid unclear or irrelevant phrases like "get out of this net." Use past tense consistently and provide a simple supporting detail about frequency or types of snacks. Use linking words like "because" or "when."

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because I loved sweet treats and my parents sometimes bought them for me. I usually had biscuits or candy after school.

提案: Respond with a clear topic sentence naming the snacks, then add a brief reason or example. Use correct word order and avoid filler words. If "Bang Bang" is a specific snack, clarify what it is (e.g., a candy or a brand) so the examiner understands. Keep it to 1–2 sentences.

例: I like potato chips and a candy called Bang Bang, which is a spicy-sweet snack I grew up eating. I enjoy chips because they're crunchy, and Bang Bang is special to me because of its unique flavor.

× I usually eat snack while I'm watching movie with my family and friends.

✓ I usually eat snacks while I'm watching movies with my family and friends.

The nouns 'snack' and 'movie' should be plural because the speaker refers to snacks in general and watching movies (plural occasions). Use plural forms 'snacks' and 'movies' for general habitual actions. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for general habits or repeated events (e.g., 'snacks', 'movies').

× No, because it's so many cholesterol and is not good for our health.

✓ No, because there is a lot of cholesterol and it is not good for our health.

'Cholesterol' is an uncountable noun, so 'many' is incorrect. Also the original sentence used 'it's' ambiguously and lacked a clear subject for the second clause. Use 'there is' with 'a lot of' (or 'much') and 'it is' to refer back to cholesterol. Suggestion: Use 'a lot of' or 'much' with uncountable nouns and make sure pronouns clearly refer to the correct subject.

× Yes, because it's so yummy so I can get out of this net.

✓ Yes, because it was so yummy that I could get out of this net.

The question asked about past habits ('when you were young'), so use past tense: 'was' and 'could' instead of present 'is' and 'can'. Also replace 'so...so' with 'so...that' for clarity. Suggestion: Match tense to the time frame in the question; use 'so...that' for cause and effect in past contexts.

× Just snack I like to eat is uh, potato chips and maybe some Bang Bang.

✓ The snacks I like to eat are potato chips and maybe some Bang Bang.

The original word order is awkward. Use a clear subject 'The snacks I like to eat' and plural verb 'are' to agree with plural 'potato chips' and 'Bang Bang'. Also use plural 'snacks' because multiple items are listed. Suggestion: Put the noun phrase 'The snacks I like to eat' at the front and ensure subject-verb agreement with listed items.