Weather— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), and combine related ideas with linking words. Add one specific detail (e.g., seasons or temperature) to make the answer more informative.

例: The weather in my city is generally pleasant and peaceful. For most of the year we have bright, sunny days which make me feel happy and energetic; however, during the monsoon season it becomes rainy and gloomy, and I sometimes feel a bit lazy.

提案: Correct grammar and avoid sentence fragments; use linking words for contrast (e.g., however, whereas). Replace fillers and give a brief reason with a specific example of activities you can do in cool weather.

例: I prefer cool weather because it feels more comfortable and helps me concentrate. In hot weather I get tired and lose energy quickly; however, in cool weather I can study and go for runs without getting exhausted.

提案: Clarify meaning and fix grammar and coherence: state preference clearly, use correct verb forms, and explain with a specific example (e.g., commuting or outdoor sports). Avoid contradictions in the same answer.

例: I prefer dry weather because it allows me to be active and commute easily. For example, when it is dry I can bike to college or meet friends outdoors, but heavy rain often forces me to stay home and miss plans.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct and concise; specify times and methods (app, news) and give a short reason with an example. Use linking words for clarity.

例: Yes, I check the weather forecast almost every day, usually in the morning on my phone app before leaving for college. I do this so I can carry an umbrella or change my plans if heavy rain or bad weather is predicted.

提案: Improve grammar and coherence: start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words to list effects, and provide specific examples (e.g., heatwaves, rising sea levels, impact on crops and animals). Avoid vague phrases and correct verb forms.

例: In recent years climate change has caused more extreme weather, mainly due to pollution and human activities. For example, there are more heatwaves and irregular rainfall, which harm crops, stress wildlife, and increase health problems for people.

提案: Be natural in tone (avoid 'Sir'), correct vocabulary and spelling, and use linking words to explain reasons. Give one clear specific detail about what you would do there.

例: Yes, I would like to visit cities with different climates to experience new environments and pleasant weather. For example, I want to visit Cox's Bazar to enjoy the fresh sea air, gentle sea breeze, and relax on the beach.

× It uh, offers, uh. Bright and sunny days usually make me feel happy and energetic.

✓ It offers bright and sunny days that usually make me feel happy and energetic.

The original contains unnecessary filler words and a sentence fragment separated incorrectly by punctuation. Combine into one sentence and remove fillers to make the clause grammatically complete and clear. Suggestion: remove 'uh' and join phrases using a relative clause ('that').

× During hot weather, I often feel tired and exhausted. Feel like loose energy quickly.

✓ During hot weather, I often feel tired and exhausted and feel like I lose energy quickly.

The second part is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and has incorrect verb form 'loose' instead of 'lose'. Combine into one sentence, include the subject 'I', and use the correct verb 'lose'.

× In contrast, uh, cool temperature helps me stay active and focus throughout the day.

✓ In contrast, cool temperatures help me stay active and focus throughout the day.

Use plural 'temperatures' or add an article 'the' before 'cool temperature'. Also remove filler 'uh'. Subject-verb agreement requires plural noun with 'help' or singular with 'helps' and 'the'. Using 'cool temperatures help' is more natural.

× I prefer dry weather because it's much more comfortable and help me to stay active in rainy weather.

✓ I prefer dry weather because it's much more comfortable and helps me to stay active during rainy periods.

The verb 'help' must agree with singular subject 'it' (it helps). Also 'in rainy weather' is awkward after stating preference for dry weather; 'during rainy periods' clarifies intent.

× I feel very lazy and cannot go out to my college who are other works.

✓ I feel very lazy and cannot go out to college or do other work.

The phrase 'go out to my college' is incorrect; native phrasing is 'go to college'. 'Who are other works' is ungrammatical; replace with 'or do other work'. Adjust structure for clarity.

× I usually check when I go out to college were doing other things in outdoors.

✓ I usually check when I go out to college or when I am doing other things outdoors.

Replace 'were' with 'when I am' and use 'or' to join alternatives. Use 'outdoors' as an adverb. The original has incorrect tense and conjunction use.

× I check it because it helps me to avoid any kind of rain or worst weather.

✓ I check it because it helps me avoid rain or bad weather.

'Any kind of' is wordy and 'worst weather' is incorrect collocation. Use 'bad weather' or 'severe weather'. Also omit 'to' after 'helps me' for natural English ('helps me avoid').

× In recent year, the climate is changing significantly because of pollution and man made.

✓ In recent years, the climate has been changing significantly because of pollution and human activity.

Use plural 'years' for the time expression. Use present perfect continuous 'has been changing' to express ongoing change. 'Man made' is incorrect; use 'human activity' or 'man-made activities'.

× What is to think the weather is become too hot and cold during summer and winter which negatively affect on human and wildlife.

✓ I think the weather has become too hot in summer and too cold in winter, which negatively affects humans and wildlife.

Original has word order issues and incorrect verb forms ('is become', 'affect on'). Use 'I think' to introduce opinion, present perfect 'has become' for change, and 'affects' for subject-verb agreement. Use 'humans and wildlife' as objects.

× Yes Sir, I would like to visit other cities that have different climates because it helps me to experience new environment and the pleasant weather.

✓ Yes, sir. I would like to visit other cities with different climates because they would allow me to experience new environments and pleasant weather.

'Sir' should be lowercased and set off with a comma or period. 'It helps me to experience' is vague—refer to 'they' (cities) and use 'allow me to experience'. Use plural 'environments' and omit unnecessary 'the' before 'pleasant weather'.

× For example, I want to visit Cox Bajar to enjoy the fresh air, the sequel breeze and relaxed.

✓ For example, I want to visit Cox's Bazar to enjoy the fresh air, the sea breeze, and relaxation.

Correct place name is 'Cox's Bazar'. 'Sequel breeze' is incorrect; use 'sea breeze'. 'Relaxed' is an adjective; use noun 'relaxation' or phrase 'to relax'.