Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğrudan ve anlaşılır, ancak dilbilgisi hataları ve tekrarlayan ifadeler var. Cümleleri daha doğal hale getirmek için daha doğru kelime sırası ve artikeller kullanın, örneğin “lilies” ve “other types of flowers”. Ayrıca nedenini bir bağlaçla bağlayarak (because/so) destekleyin ve 2-3 cümleyi geçmemeye çalışın.

例: Yes, I do. I prefer lilies to other types of flowers because I love their strong, pleasant fragrance and elegant shape.

提案: Cümleler anlamsal olarak karışık ve dil bilgisi hataları var. "also" ile "too" aynı anda gereksiz; "provide some issues" yanlış kullanım. Daha açık ve doğal bir yapı kullanın: kimlerin sevdiğini belirtin, hangi durumlarda çiçek verildiğini örnekleyin ve bağlaçlarla bağlayın.

例: Yes. My mother and several friends love flowers, and we often give each other bouquets on special occasions such as birthdays or anniversaries.

提案: Cümle uzun ve bağlantı sözcükleri yanlış kullanılmış ("however" burada uygun değil). Tek bir düşünceyi net cümlelerle ifade edin: şehirde çiçek eksikliği, ağaçlar var ama yeşil alanlar az, bu yüzden görünüm hoş değil. Daha kısa cümleler ve doğru bağlaçlar kullanın.

例: No, there aren't many flowers where I live. It is a large metropolitan area with many buildings and few green spaces, so although there are trees, colourful flowers are quite rare and the surroundings look dull.

提案: İfade belirsiz ve bazı kelime seçimleri yanlış ("they feel comfortable", "are interested in"). Nedeni net ve kısa ifade edin: çiçeklerin renkleri ve dokuları ruh halinizi iyileştiriyor. "provides dignity" yerine daha doğal bir ifade kullanın (e.g. lift my mood, make me feel calm).

例: Yes, I often photograph flowers because their colours and textures calm me and brighten my mood, especially when I need a break from work.

提案: Cevap makul ancak dilbilgisi ve ifade akıcılığı geliştirilebilir. "in some conditions" yerine "on certain occasions" kullanın ve örnekleri düzgün paralel yapıda verin (graduations, birthdays, or when someone starts a new job or internship).

例: Yes, people often send flowers on certain occasions, such as graduations, birthdays, or when someone starts a new job or internship.

× I prefer Liliums rather than the other type of flowers.

✓ I prefer Liliums to other types of flowers.

Use 'prefer A to B' not 'prefer A rather than B'; 'type' should be plural 'types' when referring generally.

× The smell is the essential point on this topic for me.

✓ The smell is the most important point about this topic for me.

Use 'the most important' to express primary importance; 'on this topic' is awkward—use 'about this topic'. 'Essential' as adjective needs 'most' in this comparison.

× My friends and my mom also love flowers too.

✓ My friends and my mom also love flowers.

Using both 'also' and 'too' is redundant; remove one. Keep either 'also' or 'too'.

× They provide some issues when we are getting celebrated.

✓ They cause some problems when we are celebrating.

'Provide issues' is unnatural—use 'cause problems'. 'Getting celebrated' is incorrect; use 'celebrating' for people who celebrate an event.

× Some occasions we get to each other a flower.

✓ On some occasions we give each other flowers.

'Some occasions' needs preposition 'on'. 'Get to each other a flower' is incorrect; use 'give each other flowers' for mutual exchange.

× There are not enough flowers where I live because this is the metropolitan city and however there are many trees but not flowers and also the buildings are everywhere so we can find the green spaces for the better environment.

✓ There are not enough flowers where I live because this is a metropolitan city: there are many trees but few flowers, and buildings are everywhere, so we cannot find green spaces for a better environment.

Reduce redundancy: 'the metropolitan city' should be 'a metropolitan city'. 'However' misplaced—use punctuation. 'Not flowers' -> 'few flowers'. 'We can find' contradicts context; use 'cannot find'. 'the better environment' -> 'a better environment'.

× So it's not good looking.

✓ So it doesn't look good.

Use the verb phrase 'look good' rather than adjective order 'good looking' which describes people; 'it doesn't look good' is natural.

× I take photo of flowers in my daily life because they feel comfortable and are interested in their colors, textures and because of that it changed my mood and provides dignity.

✓ I take photos of flowers in my daily life because their colors and textures interest me; they change my mood and give me a sense of dignity.

'Photo' should be plural 'photos'. 'They feel comfortable' is incorrect for flowers; use 'their colors and textures interest me'. Tense consistency: 'it changed' should be 'they change'. 'Provides dignity' -> 'give me a sense of dignity'.

× In my country, people usually send flowers to others in some conditions, like when you're celebrating a graduation or birthday or when you first started to internship.

✓ In my country, people usually send flowers to others on certain occasions, like when someone is celebrating a graduation or birthday, or when they are starting an internship.

Use 'on certain occasions' not 'in some conditions'. Maintain person and tense consistency: use 'someone is celebrating' or 'a person is celebrating' and 'starting an internship' instead of 'first started to internship'.