Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix verb forms (e.g., 'fill my mood' -> 'lift my mood'; 'Flowers also breathing my home' -> 'Flowers also brighten my home').

例: Yes, I love flowers because their scent always lifts my mood. For example, when I walk in the park I often pick a blossom and smell it, which I find very calming. Also, having fresh flowers at home brightens the room and makes me feel more relaxed.

提案: Give a direct answer, then add one or two clear, specific reasons or examples. Use correct verb forms and linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example'). Avoid filler sounds like 'umm' and use plural/singular agreement ('pack bouquets', 'buy a bouquet').

例: Yes, I know many people who love flowers, particularly florists because they work with flowers every day. For example, florists often pack bouquets for customers, and people frequently buy bouquets as gifts for mothers, girlfriends, or wives.

提案: Answer directly and confidently without unnecessary hedging. Keep a topic sentence, then provide specific observations using linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'also'). Reduce repetition ('walk' used many times).

例: Yes, I think there are quite a lot of flowers where I live. For example, every morning on my way to college I see many flowering trees and small garden beds outside houses, and several parks are full of seasonal blooms.

提案: Use correct tense and word order; be specific and concise. Start with a clear statement, then give one or two details about what you photograph and why, using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect verbs ('I enjoy taking photos of flowers').

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of flowers and keeping them in my gallery. For example, I often photograph flowers with unusual colors or shapes because I like capturing their details and experimenting with close-up shots.

提案: Be decisive and structured: give a clear general statement, then support with a specific example and a linking phrase. Correct word choice and grammar ('send or give flowers on special occasions'). Avoid hesitation markers like 'uh' and unclear words ('ascents').

例: Yes, people in my country often give flowers on special occasions. For example, on March 8th, International Women's Day, many men buy flowers to give to their wives or female colleagues, so it is a common tradition.

× Yes I do especially I like the smell of flowers because it's instantly fills my mood.

✓ Yes, I do. Especially, I like the smell of flowers because it instantly fills my mood.

The original mixes 'it's instantly fills' which is ungrammatical. 'It' is the subject and should be followed by the present simple verb 'fills'. Remove the extra contraction 'it's' and use 'it instantly fills' for correct subject-verb structure. Also add punctuation to separate ideas for clarity.

× When I'm walking in the park I often pick a blossom and smell it because this line is so delicate and calming.

✓ When I'm walking in the park, I often pick a blossom and smell it because the scent is so delicate and calming.

The phrase 'this line' is incorrect and unclear. The speaker likely means 'scent' or 'fragrance'. Replace with 'the scent' and add a comma after the introductory clause. This fixes meaning and improves sentence flow.

× Flowers also breathing my home.

✓ Flowers also brighten my home.

'Breathing' is the wrong verb and form here. The intended meaning is that flowers improve or brighten the home. Use the simple present verb 'brighten' to agree with plural subject 'flowers' and convey the habitual state.

× Umm, every day they can packing new bouquet for someone.

✓ Umm, every day they can pack new bouquets for someone.

After modal 'can' use the base form of the verb ('pack'), not the -ing form. Also 'bouquet' should be plural when referring to multiple items, so use 'bouquets'.

× Umm, people come to make a store to buy new bouquet for mom or girlfriend or wife of course.

✓ Umm, people come to the store to buy new bouquets for their mom, girlfriend, or wife, of course.

'Make a store' is incorrect; use 'come to the store'. Use plural 'bouquets' and add possessive 'their' to indicate whose mom/girlfriend/wife. Add commas for clarity.

× To be honest, I'm not completely sure, but from my perspective there are quite a lot of flowers where I live.

✓ To be honest, I'm not completely sure, but from my perspective there are quite a lot of flowers where I live.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change needed. It fits present tense and article usage.

× Every morning when I walk to college or school I walk around and I see many flowering trees and small garden beds outside houses.

✓ Every morning when I walk to college or school, I walk around and see many flowering trees and small garden beds outside houses.

Remove the redundant 'I' before 'see' and add a comma after the introductory clause. The present simple tense is appropriate for habitual actions.

× Yes, I enjoyed to take photo flowers in my gallery.

✓ Yes, I enjoy taking photos of flowers in my gallery.

After 'enjoy' use the -ing form ('enjoy taking'), not the infinitive 'to take'. Use plural 'photos' and 'of flowers' for correct noun phrase order.

× There are a lot of different flowers like with interesting color or interesting form.

✓ There are a lot of different flowers with interesting colors and shapes.

'Like with' is redundant; use 'with'. Use plural 'colors' and a more natural noun 'shapes' instead of 'form'. This makes the description more fluent.

× I have, I have and I like it.

✓ I have many photos, and I like them.

The original is fragmented and unclear. Replace with a clear sentence using plural 'photos' and the plural pronoun 'them' to refer back, ensuring subject-verb agreement.

× To be honest I'm not completely sure but I think though for example at the start of holidays like March 8th International Women's Day, I see uh many men carrying flowers to give women.

✓ To be honest, I'm not completely sure, but I think, for example, at the start of holidays like March 8th, International Women's Day, I see many men carrying flowers to give to women.

Remove redundant words ('though', 'uh'), add commas for clarity, and include the preposition 'to' after 'give' (give to women). This fixes sentence flow and preposition usage.

× So it seems common for people send or give flowers on special ascents.

✓ So it seems common for people to send or give flowers on special occasions.

'For people send' needs the infinitive with 'to' ('for people to send'). 'Ascents' is the wrong word; the correct word is 'occasions'. This corrects verb form and word choice.