Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Use a linking word for flow.

例: Yes — I love flowers, especially roses. I particularly enjoy their sweet scent, which makes my home feel welcoming, so receiving a bouquet on my birthday would really brighten my day.

提案: Correct grammar and word choice, and be more specific. Use linking words and avoid vague phrases. Check verb forms and adjective/adverb use.

例: Yes, my mother loves flowers and tends a small garden at home. For example, she grows roses and sunflowers, and she enjoys receiving bouquets on her birthday because they brighten her living room.

提案: Fix factual vocabulary and grammar errors and be accurate with word choice. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide one clear, specific example rather than conflicting statements.

例: Not many flowers grow near my apartment, but my neighborhood has quite a few because many residents enjoy gardening. For instance, they often grow jasmine, whose sweet fragrance I enjoy in the morning, so I sometimes pick a few blossoms to take to the temple.

提案: Use correct grammar and complete sentences. Express contrast clearly and avoid unfinished phrases. Give a brief reason to support your preference.

例: I don't usually take photos of flowers. Instead, I prefer picking a few blossoms to enjoy their scent at home because I value the fragrance more than images.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct and avoid overgeneralization. Give one clear generalization with a specific example and use linking words to structure the explanation.

例: It depends on life stage. For example, younger unmarried people often send flowers to friends or partners, whereas older married people with children tend to choose more practical gifts.

× She enjoys growing roses and sunflowers and she also likes receiving bouquet on her birthday because they are brighten.

✓ She enjoys growing roses and sunflowers, and she also likes receiving bouquets on her birthday because they brighten her day.

Errors: missing plural for 'bouquet' and incorrect article; 'bouquet' should be plural 'bouquets' or preceded by an article; 'they are brighten' uses wrong verb form and unnecessary 'are'. Correction: 'they brighten' fixes subject-verb structure (plural subject 'they' + base verb 'brighten'). Also add 'her day' to clarify meaning. Suggestion: Use plural when speaking generally and use correct verb form after plural subject.

× They grow Jasmine and I love its wrong fragrance in the morning, so I often pick a few blossoms to take to the temple.

✓ They grow jasmine, and I love its strong fragrance in the morning, so I often pick a few blossoms to take to the temple.

Error: 'wrong fragrance' is incorrect word choice; 'wrong' is an adjective meaning incorrect, not a quality of scent. Likely intended 'strong', 'sweet', or 'pleasant'. Also capitalize only proper nouns; 'jasmine' as a common noun should be lowercase. Suggestion: Choose an appropriate descriptive adjective for scent (strong/sweet/pleasant).

× I am not the person who like to take pictures of flowers in my daily life.

✓ I am not the person who likes to take pictures of flowers in my daily life.

Error: Subject-verb agreement with relative clause: 'who' refers to 'person' (singular), so verb must be third person singular 'likes' not 'like'. Suggestion: Ensure verbs agree with the head noun of the relative clause.

× Rather I would prefer plucking them and taking their.

✓ Rather, I would prefer plucking them and taking them with me.

Errors: sentence incomplete and incorrect use of 'their' (possessive) where object pronoun 'them' or phrase 'taking them with me' is needed. Suggestion: Use correct object pronouns and complete the idea by indicating destination or purpose.

× That's depend upon the different stages of life.

✓ That depends on the different stages of life.

Error: 'That's depend' mixes contraction 'That's' (that is) with base verb 'depend'; subject-verb agreement and wrong construction. Use 'That depends' (third person singular) and preposition 'on' rather than 'upon' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use correct verb form to match subject and standard preposition 'on'.

× If somebody is at the age of 30 years old and they are unmarried, they prefer sending flowers to their friends or loved ones.

✓ If somebody is 30 years old and unmarried, they prefer sending flowers to their friends or loved ones.

Errors: redundant phrasing 'at the age of 30 years old' should be '30 years old' or 'at the age of 30'; mixing singular 'somebody' with plural pronoun 'they' is acceptable in modern usage for gender neutrality, but sentence can be simplified. Suggestion: Remove redundancy and keep 'they' for neutrality or change 'someone' and 'he or she' if avoiding singular 'they'.

× And if somebody is older and married, having children, so they prefer giving something else as a gift.

✓ If somebody is older and married with children, they prefer giving something else as a gift.

Errors: unnecessary 'And' and 'so' together creates a run-on; awkward clause order. Remove leading 'And' and 'so' and combine modifiers ('married with children'). Suggestion: Write a single conditional clause without redundant conjunctions.