Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh) and redundant phrases.

例: Yes, I love flowers because they brighten up any room. For example, roses are often given to express romantic feelings, while lilies are commonly used at funerals, so the choice of flower can convey different meanings.

提案: Correct vocabulary and grammar (flower, not flour). Use one clear sentence to answer then add a concise supporting detail with appropriate tense and fewer repetitions. Remove hesitations and redundant phrases.

例: Yes, my girlfriend loves flowers. For example, last Valentine's Day I gave her a bouquet of roses to show my love and appreciation, and she was very happy.

提案: Fix grammar (use 'many' and 'gift' not 'presence'), simplify sentence structure and use linking words for coherence. Provide a brief reason and a specific detail about distance or availability.

例: Unfortunately, there are not many flowers near my home. If I want to buy a bouquet as a gift or for myself, I usually have to travel about an hour to reach the nearest flower shop.

提案: Begin with a direct answer, then give a clear condition using linking words. Remove fillers and repeated words. Use precise adjectives and a simple phrase for purpose (e.g., 'to remember or share').

例: Sometimes — it depends on the flower. If I see a rare or especially beautiful flower, I will take a photo to remember it or share it with friends.

提案: Answer directly then provide specific occasions and use linking words for clarity. Avoid vague phrasing and filler sounds. Mention common events when flowers are sent for concrete detail.

例: It depends on the person, but generally yes. People often send flowers for occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and funerals, and they are commonly used to show gratitude or romantic feelings.

× Yes, I love flowers and I love everything flowers as a pleasant.

✓ Yes, I love flowers and I love everything about flowers because they are pleasant.

The original sentence misuses 'everything flowers as a pleasant'. Use the preposition 'about' after 'everything' to indicate the topic, and use 'pleasant' as an adjective describing 'they' (flowers). This fixes word order and makes the sentence grammatical. Suggestion: say 'everything about flowers' and provide a clear adjective phrase like 'because they are pleasant.'

× Besides being beautiful and pretty, I believe sending specific flowers can have a special meaning to someone.

✓ Besides being beautiful and pretty, I believe that sending specific flowers can have a special meaning for someone.

The sentence is mostly correct but needs 'that' after 'believe' for clarity (optional) and 'meaning to someone' is less natural than 'meaning for someone'. Use 'for' to indicate the beneficiary of the meaning. Also ensure the gerund 'sending' correctly follows 'believe that.'

× Uh, for example, sending rose uh would express someone's love.

✓ For example, sending a rose would express someone's love.

'Rose' requires an article when singular; adding 'a' makes the noun phrase grammatical. Also remove filler words. Subject 'sending a rose' pairs with singular verb 'would' correctly.

× Yes, I know my girlfriend loves flour as well.

✓ Yes, I know my girlfriend loves flowers as well.

The word 'flour' (powder for baking) is incorrect; the correct noun is 'flowers'. This is a word choice error rather than grammar but falls under incorrect use of adjectives/words in this list. Use the plural 'flowers' to match meaning.

× I remember during Valentine's Day I gave uh, some roses to my girlfriend as a present and express to express my gratitude to her of uh, my love and she loved.

✓ I remember that on Valentine's Day I gave some roses to my girlfriend as a present to express my love and gratitude to her, and she loved them.

Use 'on Valentine's Day' (standard preposition for days). 'Gave' is correct past tense, but 'express to express' is redundant. Use 'to express my love and gratitude'. Add 'them' to refer to the roses and match past tense 'she loved them.' Ensure clear clause structure: 'I remember that...' helps clarity.

× Unfortunately, there are not much flowers nearby where I live and if I have to buy flowers as a presence or for myself, I have to, uh, travel for one, at least one hour for a local boutique so to, uh, buy flowers.

✓ Unfortunately, there are not many flowers near where I live, and if I have to buy flowers as a present or for myself, I have to travel at least one hour to a local boutique to buy them.

Use 'many' with countable plural 'flowers' (not 'much'). Use 'near' rather than 'nearby where I live'. 'Presence' is incorrect word choice; use 'present'. 'Travel at least one hour to' is natural word order, and add 'them' to refer to 'flowers.' Remove extra fillers.

× Entry I believe it depends on the types of flower that I saw.

✓ Actually, I believe it depends on the type of flower that I see.

Change 'Entry' (likely 'Actually') and fix tense agreement: use present 'see' instead of past 'saw' because the statement is general. Use 'type of flower' (singular) or 'types of flowers' (plural) consistently; 'type of flower that I see' is natural. Also remove redundant 'it' after 'believe.'

× If the flower is, uh, very rare or it is very pretty and cute, I I will definitely take a photo to capture the umm, beautiful state.

✓ If the flower is very rare or particularly pretty and cute, I will definitely take a photo to capture its beauty.

Replace 'capture the beautiful state' with natural collocation 'capture its beauty.' Remove doubled 'I' and fillers. Keep conditional structure with present tense 'is' and future 'will.'

× Actually, in my opinion, it depends on the people who send flowers and receiving the flowers.

✓ Actually, in my opinion, it depends on the people who send flowers and the people who receive them.

Maintain parallel structure: 'the people who send' and 'the people who receive.' 'Receiving the flowers' is a noun phrase that breaks parallelism. Also use 'receive them' to refer back to 'flowers.'

× Generally, we will send flowers to express our, uh, gratitude to someone else or express our romantic love to our loved ones.

✓ Generally, we send flowers to express our gratitude to someone or to show romantic love to our loved ones.

Use simple present 'send' for general habits rather than 'will.' Use parallel infinitive phrases 'to express... or to show...' Remove filler 'someone else.' This clarifies purpose and tense consistency.