Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail with a linking word. Avoid repeating words and fix singular/plural and article errors.

例: Yes — I love flowers, especially purple ones. For example, I often pick lavender and violets because I enjoy their color and their calming fragrance.

提案: Use correct noun forms and prepositions, give one specific example and connect ideas with a linking word. Keep it to two or three sentences.

例: Yes, my sister loves flowers. In fact, she collects many different kinds and plants them in our garden, so we have a wide variety all year round.

提案: Make the response more natural by using concise phrasing and correct prepositions. Use a linking word to combine two ideas and give one concrete detail.

例: Yes, there are many flowers near my house. For example, a nearby park has beds of seasonal flowers, and our own garden is full because my sister grows many varieties.

提案: Avoid repetition and long run-on sentences. State a clear topic sentence, then give a specific condition with a linking word. Correct plural and article use.

例: Yes, I sometimes take photos of flowers, but only when they look exceptional. For instance, I often photograph purple flowers because they are my favorite and photograph well in sunlight.

提案: Be more fluent and accurate: correct plurality and word choice, avoid hesitation artifacts, and give a brief reason and an example. Use linking words to contrast ideas.

例: Not really. In my country people usually exchange sweets or gifts rather than flowers, because sweets are a traditional way to celebrate festivals and family events.

× Yes, I do love flowers, especially the ones which are purple in color.

✓ Yes, I do love flowers, especially the ones that are purple.

Use 'that' or 'which' appropriately; 'in color' is redundant after stating the color. Also 'which' in restrictive clauses is less common; use 'that' or simply 'purple' to sound natural.

× I also love the fragrance of flower.

✓ I also love the fragrance of flowers.

Countable noun 'flower' here refers generally to all flowers, so use the plural 'flowers'.

× Yes, my own sister loves flower.

✓ Yes, my sister loves flowers.

Use the plural 'flowers' to express a general liking; 'own' is unnecessary and unnatural in this context.

× She is very keen of collecting different kind of flowers and then keeping it in our garden.

✓ She is very keen on collecting different kinds of flowers and then keeping them in our garden.

Use 'keen on' not 'keen of'. Use plural 'kinds' with 'different', and 'them' to agree with plural 'flowers'.

× Yes, near my house there is a park in which lots of different kinds of flowers are kept and also the garden in our house is full of flowers due to my sister's collection.

✓ Yes, near my house there is a park with lots of different kinds of flowers, and our garden is also full of flowers because of my sister's collection.

Use clearer structure: 'park with' is more natural than 'park in which ... are kept'. Use 'because of' for cause. Ensure parallel structure and concise phrasing.

× Yes I do take pictures of flower but only when they look exceptionally beautiful and also if I see the purple colored flowers which is my favorite, I click.

✓ Yes, I do take pictures of flowers, but only when they look exceptionally beautiful, and if I see purple-colored flowers, which are my favorite, I take photos.

Use plural 'flowers'. 'Purple-colored' can be hyphenated; 'which are my favorite' must agree in number. Use 'take photos' instead of informal 'click' in this register.

× I make sure to click pictures.

✓ I make sure to take pictures.

Use 'take pictures' (common collocation) rather than 'click pictures'. 'Click' is informally used but not standard here.

× No, I don't think people in our countries like sending flowers or are ex exposed to that type of culture, but our country's people send out sweets and gifts to each other instead of flowers.

✓ No, I don't think people in our country like sending flowers or are exposed to that type of culture; instead, people in my country give sweets and gifts to each other.

Use singular 'country' to match 'our' referring to one country. Remove duplicated 'ex'. Use 'exposed to' without extra words. Reorder for natural phrasing: 'people in my country' and 'give' is a better verb than 'send out' in this context.