Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 先直接说明城市和省份，再补充一到两个具体特点。注意使用“in Xinjiang”，而不是把城市和省份直接并列；“once you go there”不自然，可以改为“when you visit”。句子应完整结束，避免把多个观点简单堆在一起。

例: My hometown is Urumqi, the capital of Xinjiang in northwest China. It is a vibrant city with people from many different ethnic backgrounds. It is also known for its beautiful mountains and wide-open landscapes.

提案: 使用正确句型“what impresses me most is that...”。删除重复的“each other”，并完整结束例子。可以说明人们如何互相帮助，以及这对社区氛围有什么影响。

例: What I like most is the warm and enthusiastic people. For example, neighbours often help one another with childcare or daily errands. This creates a strong sense of community.

提案: 时间表达基本清楚，但“after I went to the college”语法和逻辑不自然。应使用“After I went to college, I returned...”并明确你现在是否仍然住在那里。

例: I grew up there and lived there for about 23 years. Even after I went to college, I returned to my hometown during almost every holiday because my family still lives there.

提案: 回答前后矛盾：先说“是”，后面却说明年轻人更愿意离开。应明确立场，并给出工作机会或生活成本等具体原因；避免重复“it is”。

例: It is a pleasant place for young people, but it may not be the best place to build a career. There are attractive landscapes and a relaxed lifestyle, but larger cities offer more jobs and higher salaries.

提案: 回答没有完成，且“a massive field for shipping”搭配不准确。可以说“an important trading centre”或“a major stop on the Silk Road”，并补充历史信息带来的认识。

例: Yes, I have. My parents told me that Xinjiang was an important trading centre along the ancient Silk Road. Learning this helped me understand why the region has such a diverse culture.

提案: 过去经历应使用“Yes, I did”，而不是“Yes, I do”。“I am an ethnic group”应改为“I belong to an ethnic group”；说明具体习俗时要解释其含义，并避免重复“parents”。

例: Yes, I did. I belong to an ethnic group, so my parents taught me several traditional customs when I was young. For example, we were expected to speak quietly during certain family gatherings as a sign of respect.

提案: “especially China has developed...”句子结构不清楚，且地名表达不准确。直接说明城市规模，再用“because”解释其作为交通或贸易中心的原因。

例: It is a fairly large city and the capital of Xinjiang. It has developed rapidly because it is an important trading hub near the ancient Silk Road. As a result, it offers plenty of opportunities for residents.

提案: 观点明确，但“take my hometown as a motivation”不自然，且句子未完成。可以改为“my hometown motivates me to...”并说明未来想如何回馈家乡。

例: Yes, I do. My hometown motivates me to learn more about the world and improve myself. In the future, I would like to return and use my knowledge to contribute to its development.

提案: 回答完整、感情自然，但“That's a place I grew up”应改为“This is the place where I grew up”。“everything is perfect”略绝对，可以加入一个小缺点，使答案更真实。

例: There is not much I dislike about it because it is where I grew up. I feel a strong sense of belonging there. If I had to mention one drawback, public transport could be more convenient.

提案: 内容相关，但连接词过少，多个“and”使句子过长。“landscape”通常作不可数名词，形容词应为“scenic”。建议拆成两到三句，并使用“also”或“compared with”。

例: Yes, I do. The people are friendly, and the scenery is both beautiful and memorable. Compared with Beijing, life there is more relaxed and less stressful.

提案: 条件句后缺少完整主句，且“unadmittedly”用词错误；如果想表达“毫不犹豫地”，应使用“without hesitation”。应清楚说明长期计划和可能改变计划的原因。

例: I think I will continue living there for the foreseeable future because my family and close friends are there. However, if I received a good opportunity to study or work abroad, I would accept it without hesitation.

提案: 应使用完整句子，例如“The landscape includes...”。列举景观和民族后要加一个总结，说明这种多样性对城市文化或生活方式的影响；不要以逗号结尾。

例: My hometown has a remarkably diverse landscape, including grasslands, mountains, forests and deserts. It is also home to different ethnic groups, such as Uyghur and Kazakh people. This diversity makes the local culture and food especially interesting.

提案: 主要观点清晰，但最后一句未完成。“tourism is popular”不是食物出名的直接结果，应具体举例当地食物，或者另说旅游景点，并完整结束答案。

例: My hometown is especially famous for its diverse food. Because many ethnic groups live there, visitors can try dishes such as hand-pulled noodles, grilled meat and traditional pastries. This variety attracts many tourists.

提案: 信息相关，但“During my middle school”应改为“When I was in middle school”，“That’s the time”应改为“That was when”。答案最后没有完成，应说明历史如何造成如今的文化多样性。

例: Yes, I did. When I was in middle school, my teacher explained that Urumqi had been an important trading hub in ancient times. That was when I understood why the city is so culturally diverse today.

提案: 结构完整，理由和例子具体。可以把“basically all of my friends”改为更自然的“most of my friends”，并补充这对家乡人口结构或生活氛围的影响。

例: Actually, there are not as many young people as there used to be. Many of them move to larger cities such as Beijing or Shanghai in search of better job opportunities. For instance, most of my university friends now live in Shanghai.

提案: 立场和对比清楚，但结尾没有完成。可将“a place for seeking good job opportunities”改为“a place to find well-paid jobs”，并说明哪些行业机会较少，最后完整收束。

例: No, I do not think it is the best place for young people to pursue their careers. Although it is beautiful and famous for its food, there are fewer well-paid jobs, especially in industries such as technology and finance. That is why many young people move to larger cities.

× What my home town impresses me most is the people there are always passionate about their lives and also enthusiastic.

✓ What impresses me most about my hometown is that the people there are always passionate about their lives and enthusiastic.

“What ... is”结构后面通常需要用“that”引导从句；同时，“What impresses me most about my hometown”比原句的语序更自然。建议使用“What + 动词 + me most about...”来表达“最令我……的是……”。

× I grew up there, so it's been twenty three years and after I went to the college every vacation I would go back to my hometown.

✓ I grew up there, so I have lived there for twenty-three years. After I went to college, I would go back to my hometown every vacation.

“居住了二十三年”从过去开始并持续到现在，应使用现在完成时“have lived”，并搭配“for twenty-three years”。“go to college”表示上大学时通常不加定冠词“the”。

× I grew up there, so it's been twenty three years and after I went to the college every vacation I would go back to my hometown.

✓ I grew up there, so I have lived there for twenty-three years. After I went to college, I would go back to my hometown every vacation.

“college”在表示“上大学”这一抽象概念时通常不加“the”，所以应说“go to college”，而不是“go to the college”。

× Yes, it is it is strange that young people nowadays prefer to go to the capital and more developed cities than those developing cities.

✓ Yes, it is. However, it is strange that young people nowadays prefer to go to the capital and other more developed cities rather than stay in less-developed cities.

原句中“Yes, it is”重复，造成句子结构混乱。应拆成两个句子。表达“而不是留在……”时，使用“rather than + 动词原形”结构会更清晰。

× Yes, I do. Actually I am an ethnic group. So during the vacations and I'm off school, my parents parents would tell me some traditional customs like we cannot talk loud.

✓ Yes, I did. Actually, I belong to an ethnic group. When I was on vacation and off school, my parents would tell me about traditional customs, such as not speaking loudly.

问题是过去发生的童年经历，所以回答“Did you learn...”时应使用“Yes, I did”，而不是“Yes, I do”。描述过去的假期也应使用过去时“was”。“parents parents”是重复，应删除一个“parents”。

× Yes, I do. Actually I am an ethnic group. So during the vacations and I'm off school, my parents parents would tell me some traditional customs like we cannot talk loud.

✓ Yes, I did. Actually, I belong to an ethnic group. When I was on vacation and off school, my parents would tell me about traditional customs, such as not speaking loudly.

讲述父母过去告诉你的规定时，情态动词应与过去语境一致，可使用“couldn't”或用“not speaking”表达禁止事项。这里采用“such as not speaking loudly”，句子更自然。

× Yes, I do. Actually I am an ethnic group. So during the vacations and I'm off school, my parents parents would tell me some traditional customs like we cannot talk loud.

✓ Yes, I did. Actually, I belong to an ethnic group. When I was on vacation and off school, my parents would tell me about traditional customs, such as not speaking loudly.

“talk”是动词，需要用副词修饰，因此应使用“loudly”，而不是形容词“loud”。也可以说“speak quietly”或“not speak loudly”。

× It's a big city, especially China has developed Euromati since it's an important trading hub alongside the Silk Road. So it's a city full of opportunities.

✓ It’s a big city, especially because it has been an important trading hub along the Silk Road. Therefore, it is a city full of opportunities.

“especially China has developed...”不能直接连接在前面的句子后面，缺少合适的连接结构。这里用“especially because”引导原因从句，使句子结构完整。

× No, there isn't anything I dislike about my hometown. That's a place I grew up.

✓ No, there isn't anything I dislike about my hometown. That's the place where I grew up.

“grow up”表示“在某地长大”时，需要使用介词“in”，也可以使用关系副词“where”。因此应说“the place where I grew up”或“the place I grew up in”。

× Yes I do because the people are so friendly and the landscape are cynic and unforgettable and people tend to be relaxed compared to some capital city like Beijing.

✓ Yes, I do, because the people are so friendly, and the landscape is scenic and unforgettable. People also tend to be more relaxed than those in some capital cities like Beijing.

“landscape”是单数不可数名词，所以谓语应使用“is”，不能使用“are”。此外，“scenic”表示“风景优美的”，而“cynic”表示“愤世嫉俗的”，词义不同。

× Yes I do because the people are so friendly and the landscape are cynic and unforgettable and people tend to be relaxed compared to some capital city like Beijing.

✓ Yes, I do, because the people are so friendly, and the landscape is scenic and unforgettable. People also tend to be more relaxed than those in some capital cities like Beijing.

“some”后面通常接可数名词复数，因此应说“some capital cities”，而不是“some capital city”。

× The landscape in my hometown including fields, mountains, forests, deserts.

✓ The landscape in my hometown includes fields, mountains, forests, and deserts.

原句的主语“The landscape”后面没有正确的谓语动词。“including”不能单独充当谓语，因此应使用第三人称单数形式“includes”。

× During my middle school, my teacher taught us that Irumita used to be a trading hub in ancient times.

✓ When I was in middle school, my teacher taught us that Irumita used to be a trading hub in ancient times.

“during my middle school”搭配不自然。表示“我上中学时”应说“When I was in middle school”，其中“in middle school”表示处于上中学的阶段。

× That's the time I understood why Euromutsee is such a diverse

✓ That was when I understood why Euromutsee is such a diverse place.

原句以形容词“diverse”结尾，后面缺少被修饰的名词，因此句子不完整。应添加名词“place”。由于叙述过去的理解时刻，使用“That was when...”更自然。

× Nowadays young people tend to go to larger cities like Beijing, Shanghai to look for more job opportunities.

✓ Nowadays, young people tend to go to larger cities like Beijing and Shanghai to look for more job opportunities.

列举两个城市时，需要使用连词“and”连接最后一个项目。应说“Beijing and Shanghai”，不能只用逗号连接。

× No, I don't think so because my hometown is a beautiful city famous for its landscape and food, but it's not a place for seeking good job opportunities. So I totally understand why my friends

✓ No, I don't think so because my hometown is a beautiful city famous for its landscape and food, but it's not a place with many good job opportunities. So I totally understand why my friends leave.

最后的“why my friends”没有完成原因从句，句子结构不完整。需要补充谓语，例如“leave”。“a place with many good job opportunities”比“a place for seeking good job opportunities”更自然。