Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer clear, accurate and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence naming the place and its location, then add one or two specific, well-linked details. Correct factual/confusing phrases (eg. "north states" vs "southwest"). Avoid run-on sentences and ensure grammar is accurate.

例: My hometown is Ibadan, a large city in the southwest of Nigeria. It is famous for its historic buildings, like old colonial houses and early hospitals, and daily food is generally affordable there.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating what you like, then use linking words to add specific supporting details and an example. Avoid repetition ("is is") and use natural vocabulary ("food is affordable").

例: I like how peaceful my hometown is. In addition, food is quite affordable, so daily life is less stressful, and newcomers usually adapt quickly because people are friendly and relaxed.

提案: Answer directly with the length of time, then add one or two specific, well-linked details. Correct unclear phrases ("life is very soft", "security in balloon") and avoid contradictory or exaggerated claims. Use natural collocations like "little traffic" and "good security".

例: I've lived in Ibadan for about five years. During that time I've enjoyed its relaxed lifestyle: there is usually little traffic compared with larger cities, and many neighbourhoods feel safe and secure.

提案: Give a direct answer to the question first (yes/no/maybe) and then explain with clear reasons and examples. Avoid irrelevant or confusing statements ("stay in the bathroom"). Use linking words to connect ideas and speak about opportunities or risks for young people.

例: I think it can be a good place for young people, but it depends. There are education and job opportunities in the city, however peer influence matters a lot — good friendships and family support help young people make positive choices.

× My hometown is in Ibadan which is in north states that is the southwestern part of Nigeria.

✓ My hometown is Ibadan, which is in the southwestern part of Nigeria.

The phrase 'in north states' is vague and incorrect; use 'the southwestern part of Nigeria' with the definite article and correct adjective order. Also 'is in Ibadan' should be 'is Ibadan' to be natural when naming the town. Use a comma before the relative clause 'which is...'. Suggestion: say 'My hometown is Ibadan, which is in the southwestern part of Nigeria.'

× It is known for its historic building such as ancient houses, old hospitals and food are inexpensive.

✓ It is known for its historic buildings, such as ancient houses and old hospitals, and its food is inexpensive.

Plural noun 'building' should be 'buildings' (singular/plural). The sentence contains two clauses that need coordination: listing what it's known for and noting that food is inexpensive. Add 'its' before 'food' and use commas to separate items. Suggestion: '...historic buildings, such as..., and its food is inexpensive.'

× One thing I love about my hometown is is that it is very peaceful and foodstuff are affordable and the lifestyle there is very easy to adapt to.

✓ One thing I love about my hometown is that it is very peaceful, foodstuffs are affordable, and the lifestyle there is easy to adapt to.

Duplicate 'is is' should be one 'is'. 'Foodstuff' is usually pluralized as 'foodstuffs' or better 'food' or 'food items'; subject 'foodstuffs' takes plural verb 'are' (which is acceptable) but better to use 'food is affordable' treating 'food' as uncountable. Remove 'very' repetition and streamline coordination with commas and conjunctions. Suggestion: '...it is very peaceful, food is affordable, and the lifestyle there is easy to adapt to.'

× I've lived in Ibadan for about 5 years now and I can say it's a very beautiful city.

✓ I've lived in Ibadan for about five years now, and I can say it's a very beautiful city.

No major grammar error except number format and missing comma before conjunction in compound sentence. Spell out small numbers in formal writing and add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. Suggestion: '...about five years now, and I can say...'.

× The life is very soft there and there is no the roads are free, there is nothing like traffic and the security in balloon is top notch.

✓ Life there is very relaxed, the roads are free of traffic, and security in Ibadan is top-notch.

'The life' should be 'Life' or 'Life there'. 'Very soft' is not natural; 'relaxed' fits better. Sentence had an erroneous fragment 'there is no the roads are free' which is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'the roads are free of traffic'. 'Balloon' appears to be a typo for 'Ibadan'. 'Top-notch' is hyphenated when used as adjective before noun or can remain two words after 'is'. Suggestion: 'Life there is very relaxed, the roads are free of traffic, and security in Ibadan is top-notch.'

× Young people can stay in the bathroom if they want to.

✓ Young people can stay in the city if they want to.

'Stay in the bathroom' is incorrect and likely a misuse of preposition and noun; context asks whether hometown is good for young people, so the intended meaning is probably 'stay in the town/city.' Replace 'bathroom' with 'city' or 'town'. Suggestion: 'Young people can stay in the city if they want to.'

× However, it's not about where you stay, it's about the influence.

✓ However, it's not only about where you live; it's about the influence.

Use 'only' to clarify contrast and 'live' is more natural than 'stay' for residency. Replace comma splice with semicolon or separate sentences. Suggestion: 'However, it's not only about where you live; it's about the influence.'

× The friends that you have around. Those can be a major factor to their lifestyle.

✓ The friends you have around you can be a major influence on their lifestyle.

First fragment 'The friends that you have around.' is a sentence fragment; combine with the next sentence. Use 'around you' to clarify, and 'influence on' is the correct preposition, not 'factor to'. Also avoid repeating pronouns awkwardly. Suggestion: 'The friends you have around you can be a major influence on their lifestyle.'